Dallas, Texas, USA
November 06
My Googlable name is Mike Stanfill. I'm an illustrator, animator, web designer, cartoonist, cranky old geezer and much, much less. If you like my comic, or are easily influenced by people you don't know, then you can find lots more to overstimulate your neocortex at farleftside.com.

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MARCH 7, 2011 1:30AM

The Bucket List

Rate: 15 Flag

The Bucket List

Better Get Your Bucket

i has a bucketYou know about the Bucket List, right? It's this self-entitled boomer fantasy that a person's life will magically have deeper meaning if they create an inventory of all the goofy, pointless shit they need to do before they die and, on the odd eventuality that they bother to turn off the TV and get off the couch, actually undertake them.

You know the sort of things I mean... snort a line of coke off Angelina Jolie's uvula or rock-climb Mount Rushmore in a bunny suit or hang-glide with Joe Biden over an active volcano.

For you, personally, creating one of these things may be a hoot but listening to someone enumerate their Bucket List is like enduring a recitation of this weird dream they had last night after eating a whole broccoli-and-goat-cheese pizza.

Shoot me.

Look, if you have to make a Bucket List you're automatically a loser anyway. You see, the rich and powerful don't make bucket lists... they LIVE the bucket list. Every goddamn day. Sadly, this usually manifests itself as 300-foot yachts with the bilges crammed full of underage Phillipino sex slaves but, hey, it's not near as exciting as refilling propane tanks down at the Walgreens. Right?

But, believe it or not, I have a bucket list of my own. Here it is:

(1) Leave behind as small a greasy stain on this benighted planet as possible.


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LOL your good even when placed in the far past.
There are things I wish I had accomplished. There are things I wish I had done. To enumerate them in a list? How the hell can that be fun?
:) Indian BL cd be: stay put; stay fed; don't get eaten
I can always count on you to brighten my day with a cheery closing remark!
I actually have a f***it list. As I get older, day by day, I say f*** it to more and more things! It takes the load off.
Love this post!
1. realize the planet is dust in a few billiion years and have fun without regards to 'eco' anything while being kind to animals and shooting guns as much as I can.
Can't believe how perfectly this complements the discussion I was just having with my husband. We were talking about the likelihood that we will die in poverty while wealth is barricaded by the top 1%. How can we live a happy and effective life without succumbing to misery and hopelessness? I feel so bitter about the injustice brought about by unregulated greed.
I read Snippy's remark and I think of what Winston Churchill said. . . .

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery."

Snippy, you have a lot for which to be grateful as an American, as do I, without being envious of the rich.

I remain confident that you are one of the better teachers, that you (like so many in your profession) are not paid nearly what you are worth, and that you potentially can attain more job satisfaction than any one of us who do not teach. This explains why I chose education as an avocation in my life. This explains why several items on my bucket list involve education.

I just wonder at what it costs you to look greedily at what the rich have and believe that you would be better off if the government took it from them and gave it to you.
I didn't know what a bucket list was - until I joined Open Salon.
Uncle whoeveryouare,

The government, through cronyism and legislation that favors the wealthy, has bestowed wealth upon the country club set. Don't you believe for a minute that they've "earned" it in any sense of the word.

I have no expectation that those at the top with a firm grip on their billions or hundreds of millions will ever relinquish their iron hold on what isn't and never was theirs. I hope they choke on it.

My "greed" involves thinking that with the education I have, and the 60-70 hours a week that I work, I ought to at least be able to keep up with the bills for my husband's cancer treatments. At my craziest, I even dream that maybe once every ten years we could go on a modest vacation! Let's see, that would maybe be ONCE before it's too late?

Yet you suggest I am greedy? I have never been so insulted. If you were capable of understanding how far offbase you are, you'd be so distressed by the cognitive dissonance, you be forced to drop your blame-the-victim, wealth=virtue mentality.

You have no idea what it is like to work hard, never get ahead, worry about bills when I should be conserving energy for dealing with my husband's illness--oh, trying to talk to someone with a closed mind is useless. I will NEVER engage with you in comments again, so do me a favor and IGNORE me likewise. I'd like to say nothing personal, but I can't--I feel hatred for you and those who think like you.
I understand your anger, as Chris is a rolling ball of insult, but it's unintentional. He's just an ideologue who thinks in simple and extreme terms and so projects his extremism and simplicity upon others.
As an educator, your better response would be to point out that while Chris says he chose education as an avocation, the form of his rhetoric and thinking indicates he should choose education as an aspiration.
His violations of educated opinion begins with framing the issue as an envy of the wealthiest, which is not the point. The true point is civil and economic function, but that is a subject way over his head. It doesn't fit his fanatical template.
After he presents a false premise, the rest of his low wattage rant follows in theme. You want to steal the wealth of those who made America great. You want to use gubbermint to accomplish this theft.

And, of course, the tattoo of the simpleton -- he tries to bolster his argument by quotes. Fortunately for Churchill, he did know what socialism means. Chris' definition turns the Founding Fathers and the Greatest Generation into "socialists." If he had an intelligent argument to make he would use words in proper meaning.

The point is the guy is an idiot. I say that with all due respect to the Athenian idea of somebody whose mind is so inadequate he shouldn't participate in politics.

My suggestion for anyone who wants to respond to Chris is to avoid deconstructing his blitzkrieg of bad information and absence of historical, philosophical and economic knowledge. His ignorance force field is too strong to penetrate.
He is also immune to having the illogical, unreasoned and ideologically hobbled form of his blather exposed, but it's easier and you waste less time.

OR...you can embrace magnanimity and feel embarrassed for him, as he is obviously incapable of grasping that concept.
From . . .

"You have no idea what it is to work hard, . . . "

To . . . .

"The point is the guy [Chris] is an idiot."

. . . it seems clear who doesn't know about what they write and who doesn't (ever) seem to have a substantive response.

I won't consume or encourage more off-topic comment space to FarLeftSide's post. However, I am deeply disappointed in the subjective, emotional, hatefilled, responses from those whom I suspect have no other way to deal with their (Liberal?) misery.

I will simply enjoy my bucket list, several items of which relate to educational projects, and trust that FarLeftSide has the good sense to eliminate those comments that do not serve the objectives of his blog.
There is no "liberal misery" here Chris.
You're the one who hijacked the thread.
I saw it in the feed yesterday and thought:
"I bet anything he found a way to introduce 'socialism' into his comment." You did not disappoint. (I had already seen the cartoon, which is good, but I like the purely political ones better.)

Now you whimper and whine about off-topic. Personally, if you'd quit using my tag in your tags, I'd back off and let you expose yourself as an ass sans my pointing it out. You want to challenge me? You can't.

However, you are an idiot in the meaning I applied. You're the one with an emotional opinion. It sure as hell isn't factual. You pompously advance your one-note intellectually-absent argument as an examination of snippy's comment then pathetically lift a wounded paw when your supposedly clear analysis is given a true and in-kind examination.

Here's another British quote for you:
"F***- off, won't you?"
Gordon Ramsey
My bucket list is in the draft stages, so it´s classified as above top secret.
Thank you. I was hanging out with some friends a while back and one of them asked us all to share the number one item on our "bucket list". I don't have one, so I made something up.

I'm glad to know that it's not something I'm not supposed to have.
Lefty, I love what you drew and what you wrote. Bucket lists are all about the consumption and accumuluation of experience. (Yes in this case you can do both at the same time.)