I guess many would call it a good problem to have. I refer to the problem of finding something to wear for the commitment ceremony that Lady Lucia and I are planning for the end of April (yes, mere days after my fiftieth birthday). There are two challenges associated with my clothing search, though. One is my extremely low income (I can't afford a $1,000 outfit or even a $100 outfit). The second is my bloody godawful ridiculously proportioned body. There seems to be no such thing as a dress that fits the whole me! With size 12-14 hips (depending on the cut), a size 8 waist and a size 10-12 bust (again, depending on the cut) it's also impossible to find a suit with a skirt and jacket that both fit me.
How do I ever dress myself? Well, for ordinary go-to-work days (which are most of my days) I wear skirts (size 10 or 12, depending on the cut) and stretchy, fitted tops that show off my small waist. I look pretty decent in my work clothes, most of which are either black or other dark colors (green; burgundy). I have couple of black and white skirts and a couple with colorful prints against black backgrounds. What I don't have is anything the looks "weddingish" or "commitment ceremonyish." If I could wear something that was already in my closet, I would. But nothing that's in my closet seems appropriate.
I know what I don't want. I don't want to look like a traditional, twentysomething, straight bride. I don't want a poofy white gown (pretty as those are and much as I enjoyed wearing one 15 years ago when I married Iggy). Lady Lucia doesn't want that either (for herself or for me). No white gowns. No black anything (it just seems too severe for a festive occasion). And nothing too ultra-formal, since we're having a small, informal, afternoon celebration with only about 30 guests. Lady L already has outfits that fit the bill. A nice blue suit, a nice green suit; a nice pink dress...
No, Lady Lucia and I are not the same size (if we were, I would gladly borrow something of hers and she would gladly lend it). So...there's no way around it. I have to buy something. And I've been shopping and shopping and shopping (I am NOT one of those women who shops for fun; I hate it). No luck. If I find something in a color I like, that I can afford, I try it on and discover that there's some part of me it doesn't fit (gererally, if the hips fit, it sticks out a foot from my waist or vice versa). If I see something that's just the right size and cut to flatter my figure, it will either cost $150 or be in some horrible color, like lime green or bright organge (I'm hoping to fond something dark pink or purple, 'though will consider reds, blues or greens in nice, not-too-hot shades). SIGH.
Yes. I know it's a "good problem to have." I'm looking for something to wear to what should be an extremely happy occasion, after all. Having a commitment ceremony with someone I love! I just want to feel at least sort of pretty for it...
If I could afford to have something custom-made, I would. But, since I can't, I keep scouring the thrift shops and discount stores for the dress or suit (or coordinating skirt and top) that will make me, like Goldilocks, declare "just right!" All I need is one outfit. I have a bit over six weeks. Wish me luck, y'all. I'll need it!
Blessings and well-wishes,