in the time since my husband left, i've gone thru some changes. daily, generally, physically, etc. ; lots of differences between then and now. so i thought i'd write about them. 

the first difference is where i sleep. my old bedroom - mine alone, because he snores loudly - is a… Read full post »

we call my husbands' grandfather phil, because that's his name, and because he is young for a grandfather.  

phil has a wonderful sense of design and style, and would be a stereotypical gay man if he let himself. he's a warm, funny guy.  he thinks outside of the box,… Read full post »

i'm not ready to let go of my landline. i don't use it, it's costing me money, and i'm not ready. 

don't know why. it's silly, really....dithering about some deeper meaning when it really doesn't matter -  i'm just wasting money.  hanging onto something that's not useful. 

i like… Read full post »

i live in a studio apartment where my bedroom is mere feet from the laundry.  as in, i remove my socks at position a, and 6 feet away is the machine it's going in. 

and yet i lose socks. as of right now, i have 4 lone socks - no mate,… Read full post »

words change meaning. this we know. but they don't always change for everyone, certainly not the same time or to be used in the same way. 

i'm lesbian,  married to a man. to lots of folks, there's something queer about that.

which is my point.  

 i'm queer - my way.… Read full post »

we had dinner tonight. he put his hands out on the table and i had to fold mine to stop from reaching for his.  i have loved his hands for over 30 years. strong, soft, comfortable, like coming home. we used to walk in our neighborhood, in malls, to friends, drive,… Read full post »

i hate to exercise. i really do. it hurts, and that is not fun. and no, i am not doing it wrong - it just hurts.  my doctor has sympathy but offers no releif. she's nice, but straightfoward; 'too bad for you'. 

i have arthritis in my right knee and my… Read full post »

Fairly often, at least once a week, I wish that such and such science-fiction-inspired device really existed, and that I owned such a device. 

 Yesterday I wished for a 'rememberer'....that would be a device that was something of a spy ball, with 360 degree video, instant playback, and inte… Read full post »

 i have been 'on' the internet since prodigy, which is a Very Long Time.  i have seen a lot of very strange, very silly, or very very.....things/episodes online since then. 

and tonight i came upon this just randomly.  [hat tip; bitch, phd]  

http://chrisdaneowens.com/video/S… Read full post »

i remember...

i was a sophmore in college and it was lonely for  the break as everyone who could cleared out. by some miracle of pre-internet life i made fast arrangements and traveled just under 1000 miles to surprise my family. i walked in and alarmed the dog i didn't know… Read full post »

 this is on long island, at the poor relation to the hamptons; the north shore. 

my family went to the summer house here almost every weekend.  it's where i feel i grew up - not where i went to school, but where i read readers' digest condensed books endlessly, watched… Read full post »

we are married.

we have been married 25 years; met when we were 16, fell in love, dated, broke up, back together in college, married after graduation. his mother hates me, my parents love him. our friends thought we were cute and obviously self-aware soulmates. our friends and families understood… Read full post »

we are married. she to her husband, i to mine.

it has been 9 years of juggling our lives, our love, our other relationships, and our husbands. mine knows, welcomes, befriends; hers does not. her marriage has been poor, recently ungraded to fair, for over 20 years. and mine is… Read full post »