Keep Breathing

Erica K

Erica K
New Jersey, USA
September 26
I have a new blog: Grew up in Jackson Heights, New York, but now live in Jersey. Married and the proud owner (servant?) of 4 cats, including a little blind guy named Quincy. Jobs have included: English teacher in U.S. and abroad, cabaret performer and member of a NYC sketch comedy troupe; now a legal secretary and freelance writer. Other jobs: canvasser for NYPIRG/cannery worker in Naknek, Alaska (a fisherman told me it was "the ugliest part of Alaska")/dog kennel cleaner/member of the swine and poultry crew on a California farm. "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." Samuel Beckett


Erica K's Links

New list
JANUARY 20, 2012 12:13PM

Newt: Too Sexy for Himself

Rate: 34 Flag
pillsbury doughboy mean


Whoever thought a Pillsbury Doughboy lookalike could be “sexy.”  Not me.  But he must be hot.  Maybe it's that bad boy thing he's got going on.  Why else would ex-wife Marianne refuse the prospect of an open marriage to share him with Callista?  Sexy.  It turns out he has changed religions as often as he’s changed wives. 


First he was a Lutheran, then a Southern Baptist, now he’s a Catholic.  He was raised Lutheran but there is no record of his having attended Lutheran or any other church regularly in his early adulthood.  While studying at Tulane University in the late 1960s, he wanted to delve deeper into the connection between politics and religion, and visited nearby St. Charles Avenue Baptist Church to speak to the pastor, who eventually baptized him.


Since the church was a member of the conservative Southern Baptist Convention, Gingrich was baptized into a conservative denomination.  Startlingly, this particular church was liberal, having ordained its first female pastor in 1980.  Consequently, it left the Southern Baptist convention in 2001.


Gingrich was a member of the New Hope Baptist Church, a south Atlanta megachurch, from the 1970s to 1990s, while spending most of his time in Washington D.C.


His explanation of his conversion to Catholicism at the National Catholic Prayer Breakfast in Washington D.C. on April 27, 2011:


“People ask me when I decided to become Catholic.  It would be more accurate to say that I gradually became Catholic and then realized that I should accept the faith that surrounded me.”


His current wife Callista, whom he has known since the 1990s happens to be Catholic.  I think she may have played a part in this “gradual” conversion process.


During an interview with Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) in early 2011, he said:


“I found that I felt compelled to seek God’s forgiveness.  Not God’s understanding, but God’s forgiveness.  I do believe in a forgiving God.  And I think most people, deep down in their hearts hope there’s a forgiving God.”


I believe Newt’s final statement is accurate, but I wonder if his ex-wives, both of whom he cheated on, ever forgave him.


The U.K.’s Daily Mail featured an article on December 27, 2011 entitled, “Newt Gingrich divorced first wife ‘because she wasn’t pretty enough to be First Lady’ ”.


The source told CNN that the GOP presidential candidate dumped Jackie Battley because she wasn’t “young or pretty enough” to be the wife of a president.


In an effort to maintain his image as poster boy for God-loving conservatives, Newt has repeatedly claimed that Battley wanted the divorce too, even though she said she did not.  Battley was Gingrich’s former high school geometry teacher and seven years his senior.  They married in 1962, had two daughters and divorced in 1980.


In addition to his cheating on Battley while they were still wed, it was rumored that Gingrich served Jackie with divorce papers in the hospital while recovering from her third cancer surgery.  Court papers also show that Gingrich initially refused to pay alimony, also asserted by Gingrich’s former friend and early congressional campaign treasurer Leonard Carter.


Battley’s experience came to light in a Washington Post  article in 1985:


“He wanted to discuss the terms of the divorced while I was recovering from the surgery.  To say I gave up a lot for the marriage is the understatement of the year.”


Marianne Gingrich, Newt’s second wife, claims that he had sex with soon-to-be wifey number three in their bedroom.  Her first interview since the 1999 divorce aired on ABC yesterday.  During this interview, she said that while Gingrich was trying to impeach Bill Clinton following the Monica Lewinsky scandal, he was engaged in a six-year affair with an aide (current wife, Callista).


“He wanted an open marriage, and I refused,” she said. 


Marianne Gingrich also told ABC that Newt wanted to divorce her shortly after she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. 


“He was also advised by the doctor when I was sitting there that I was not to be under stress.  He knew,” she said.


She said that her ex-husband has never apologized to her for his actions.  He has said on the campaign trail that he has “no relationship” with his ex-wife.  I can’t imagine why.


But hey, he’s sexy, so who cares?


Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:
He can also "Dance Like Jagger"!:-)
So I've heard. Look out!
I don't know about his "moves like Jagger," but he sure is as ugly as Jagger! Well, maybe not. He most definitely is a dirtbag, though.

Agreed, dirtbag par excellence.
Barf! I resort to adolescent comment--it fits the man's behavior. You, however, did a fine job of describing him and his history. How in the world can people overlook his personal and professional history and want him to represent the country as president is beyond me. At the risk of being a troll, the man is a pig. My apologies to the porcine community.
Yes, he is a monster dressed in doughboy's clothing, beauty. Thanks for stopping by.
He's an all-around sleaze -- personally and politically. The thought of sex with Newt make me vomit in my mouth.
Good 0ne, Erica. This is the greatest reality show ever!
The Pillsbury Doughboy PosterBoy of the teabag set.
And yet, he's probably the most accomplished politician of the Republican "contenders". Scary isn't it.
His girth is such that it would take at least 4 doughboys to fill it. Sexy? With that paunch? Should ask Calindal:)
Wow! I thought I was reading about my ex#2 all through. Excellent, Erica.
That nobody truly wants to think about NewtSex helps his appeal to the base-base. This latest ex-wife, open marriage revelation won't hurt him any more than he has been, anyway. At this point a Gingrich sex complaint is barely more newsworthy than discovering another woman who slept with Wilt Chamberlain.

Old news as new news is still old news. Newtie won't lose a point in the polls because this contest is more about Mitt than Newt.
I said it of Paul, of Romney, of Perry and repeat it again in respect to Gingrich. No matter that there are one or two solid planks (ideas) in their campaign platform. You don't vote for one plank, you vote for the platform. If the platform, save those few good planks, are rotten to the core, then, no matter how carefully you tread, the whole platform comes crashing down under the added weight of scrutiny.

Newt Gingrich cheated on his first two wives, marrying the cheated to be next. At least that's consistent behavior. Newt is an exceptionally intelligent and savvy, cunning even, politician. He has made some real things happen that, in the long run, might have been overall plusses for our nation. He didnt' do that by himself and he didn't do it for Us.

I don't know how well he actually dances, but he has moves, politically that any boxer reminiscent of Muhammed Ali or Iron Mike Tyson would envy in the political ring. Oh, wait, sorry Newt, didn't mean to compare you with men of color. Umm, a fighter like Sonny Liston, then?

We make fun of him, but make no mistake, we need to be aware of his abilities and take them seriously. We cannot afford this man as Commander In Chief.
January 19, 2012

Someone at CNN apparently decided that tonight's Republican Presidential Debate could be solely handled by John King. Boy, was that a mistake!

Newt Gingrich brought an admittedly biased audience to its virtually unprecedented feet in its excoriation of King and his CNN bosses.

King went on to dig his grave even deeper by asking all the candidates to comment on his epically inappropriate question. This proved to be a good litmus test for the other candidates. While Santorum and Paul shamelessly seized on the opportunity to trot out the wife and kiddies for political advantage, Mitt Romney, whose stellar family can stack up against all the others in grand fashion, took the high ground and provided the evening's most memorable moment by telling John Boy to get on with his job.

Later, King showed that he could not keep track of the proceedings even as well as the audience. His almost exclusion of Paul from discussion of a medical issue showed that King had been so shaken by his initial gaffe that he was totally out of it. And later, a candidate noted that a key issue had not been addressed at all.

And throughout, King, instead of retreating to, or under, a desk as he should have, found it appropriate to strut back and forth in front of the candidates like a cock on the walk. Just whom did he think this occasion was all about?
Ha! Well played, Erica. I can't wait to hear what Stewart and Colbert have to say on Monday. Very clever. R
You folks got it all wrong. I watched the debate and, really, Romney has the sex appeal, not Newt. Never mind that it's mostly gay sex appeal, but it's still very powerful. See my most recent post...wink
...You can dress up (or down) the leopard but those damned spots just really never go away...He is brilliant, but he WILL self destruct. blechhh
This is a man who believes people should be held accountable for their actions -- the classic please have mercy on me, but judge those folks over there, harshly. He is smart, he is pompous, he is dishonest, he is well read -- a deadly combination. Excellent info in your post, thanks.
I hear he has nice feet. old was Newt when he married the first time? This is great background, and I just hope he's the GOP candidate b/c he'll be so dang easy for someone to beat...hubris will defeat him
This is a good piece, Erica, thank you! It's really informative and disturbing. I didn't know he had so many religions to go along with his infidelities - so hypocritical. How creepy... you'd think he'd burst into flames if he went in a church. How could anyone possibly vote for this guy to be president ? How could anyone have SEX with him???? He's so gross! BLAHHHH - think of something else, think of something else, lalalalalalalala
He's always reminded me of Froggy the Gremlin.
Man.. and this guy is heading up the Keystone Cops.??? OR a close second?
That side of the fence is scary.
I may have exaggerated. Maybe he moves like Meatloaf!
You pillory him, Erica, as he deserves to be pilloried. He's interested only in what advances his political ambitions and his inflated sense of himself. He may be a Catholic, but, for me, not even a papal indulgence could make him seem credible.
Firechick, ditto!

Margie, you're onto something. You could make a fortune! How about calling it, "Newt: Sex Machine." Too tacky?

Walter, scary it is.

Roberto, More to love (gulp), I suppose.

Fusun, Ha ha! Thanks for reading.

Paul, You might be right. At this point it's almost a joke. How many more skeletons are in that closet of his? Once a womanizer, always a womanizer.

dunniteowl, I agree, he is shrewd and intelligent. I heard him speak at the Alzheimer's Advocacy Forum in DC last May and he was very cogent, decisive, even charming (I can't believe I said that). I think all the GOP candidates are to be feared.

Gordon, I missed last night's "event." I will have to catch it online. Sounds like a circus.

Thoth, Thanks. Me too!!

Jejune, I think Mitt is better-looking, but the fact that he strapped his dog (in a carrier, I presume) on the car rack for a 12-hour family trip burst my bubble. Animal abuse, like child abuse, is evil, plain and simple, and so is he. I will check out your post!

Persistent Muse, I think if someone sticks him with a hat pin he might deflate like the doughboy!

Marty's Husband, Absolutely. Hypocrisy writ large.

John, Hmm, I hadn't heard that. I bet they are nice and squishy (eww).

Heidi, I believe he was 19 years old. I think Romney will be the victor.

Joanne, I know. How unappealing. Yikes!!

Sheila, pain is right.

Chicken Maaan, I'm not familiar with Froggy. Will have to look him up.

Linda, I think a close second!

scanner, yeah, Meatloaf or Chubby Checker?
Jerry, I agree. The sad thing is that he believes, as so many of the hypocritical do, that God will forgive him no matter what he does. Perhaps he feels that gives him license to do bad.
Coming from the city that is the headquarters of Pillsbury, I hate to see the Pillsbury Doughboy (a really rather likeable guy) besmirched by the likes of Newt. But I understand your reasoning.

It's not about sexy. It's about power. I saw a ton of this in D.C. when I there and yes, I even saw Newt and Callista together (before he divorced his second wife). As Henry Kissinger said: power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Newt's first wife was his high school teacher. Ewwwwww! Your post triggered a visual of Newt and Calista doing it. Ewwwwwwwagain.
It's all lies!! He said so, that's how I know...ROTFLMAO!! :D

And yep, he can dance like Jagger and breathe through his ears!! Sexy, eh? ;D
Mary, dead on. That is so true. I heard Newt speak at the Alzheimers Advocacy Forum last year and he was quite the charmer. Sorry to mock the Doughboy.

Grif, sorry, double sorry!

Tink, don't believe everything the TV people tell you!
Well he, like Cain, at least have some personality and that can be more attractive than conventional good looks (that Perry and Romney are said to have).

Shudder. I have just argued for Newt's sex=appeal. I need a drink.
Reminds me of the commercial for Pillsbury Cookie Dough, sung by the comedy stars Paul and Storm:

It’s four in the morning
You sneak out of bed
And tiptoe down the stairs

Go to the kitchen
Leave off the light
The Pillsbury® cookie dough’s waiting there

Yeah, you open the door
Take the tube in your hand
Get the scissors down from the shelf

Peel back the label
Give it a squeeze
You’re gonna eat the whole thing all by yourself

There’s nothing better than a whole damn tube of raw cookie dough
(Go on and eat it all)
Don’t slice it, don’t cook it, don’t serve it, don’t share it
(Go on and eat it all)
Hide the wrapper at the bottom of the trash
And go back up to bed
Filled with shame
And cookie dough
From Pillsbury®
I knew he had converted to Catholicism (since Plasticface is Catholic) but not that he'd already switched. I guess things get old for him and he has to move on. Too bad his obsession with himself hasn't gotten old for him like it has for the rest of us. ~runs off to take a shower--yuk~
New may not feel compelled to seek God's understanding but maybe instead of focusing on becoming president he ought to do a little soul-searching and try to understand why a pathological liar, cheater and self-centered hypocrite like himself is worthy of forgiveness - not from God but from the people he's hurt, and voters as well. And if Callista is such a good Catholic why was she involved with a married man, having sex in the same bed he shared with his wife?

The two of them are rotten to the core and the fact that anyone still takes him seriously makes me sick. He's not a good person.
And by the way, where are all the "Thou shalt not commit adultery" signs up in his face?
{{gulp}} "Ugly as Jagger!" Lezlie!!!
rated anyway.
Good post, Erica. Sorry I got carried away with Lezlie's comment. ~r
Yeah, he sounds like a guy I'd not want to marry. However, and for very similar reasons, so did JFK, Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr., Bill Clinton, etc. The man is running for president. If you could have voted for any of the above, despite their being lousy husbands in many respects, if you liked their politics, you should be able to vote for Newt. Be honest, you don't like his politics and that is what this is about.

I'm not voting for him either, but it ain't because he is a bad husband nor is it because he is a (the left's big word) hypocrite. (Please note, JFK, Roosevelt, Clinton, et. al also spoke of "family values", albeit at times using different terminology, so please pass on the "hypocrite" bs.)
Myriad, yes, I agree.

Neutron, thanks for the song!

Good Daughter, I guess not all the commandments apply to him. He picks and chooses.

Margaret, I agree. Pillsbury Doughboy meets Stepford Wife. Scary couple, and rotten to the core.

Joan, no worries, thanks.

Barbara, I think most politicians are hypocrites and many are/ were philanderers and adulterers. And I would poke fun at them too if they were running for office.
There are a lot of skanky people in politics, it seems the republicans are less averse to skankiness but I see skanks on both sides. Newt is definitely a super skank.
Yes, so true, L'Heure.
It cracks me up - the Newt thing. He is such a slob! For that reason alone he will never be president. No president can be a slob with tv running the show! Also, I hate his guts!
Whether he moves like Jagger or not-- too ugly to be president is my assessment. He does have some creepy charm but Calista seems like a scary robot, and so it's all not good, as they say. I know we are all supposed to be open minded but open marriages strike me as super nasty.
Fine post, Erika.
Erica K, thanks for the thanks. It does have some relevance to Newt, who probably eats raw cookie dough by the tube. And to his voters, who are filled with shame after pulling the lever and seeing the lunatic they elected.
I can't believe he just won South Carolina. Fasten your seatbelts, this is going to be a bumpy ride!
♥╚═══╝╚╝╚╝╚═══╩═══╝─╚for that great take on the doughboy...
Wren, that's funny. Thanks for reading.

fernsy, I know, open marriage -- who would want that? Someone always gets hurt. I'm a little scared since he won South Carolina.

Neutron, you might be right about the cookie dough eating.

Margie, I know. That scares me.

Thanks, Algis. Love the big "SWEET". How do you do that?
Family values: Use your daughters of your first wife to convince everyone that your second wife is lying about your third wife. Pond scum. jus' sayun'
Barbara, he's a user.