Linda Seccaspina

The Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee

Linda Seccaspina

Linda Seccaspina
July 24
Formerly called The Maiden of Death by Derek Raymaker Xpress Magazine
When you wish upon a star
Linda's column can now be read in The Humm newspaper and online. Also pick up an issue of Screamin Mamas magazine from Florida for a peak at some of my writing.>> My idol is former mentor and OPRAH senior associate producer Elizabeth Coady. Taskmaster extraordinaire but learned so much from her, and if I could be 1/8 as talented as her I 'd be laughing.>>>>> My books "Menopausal Woman From the Corn" "Cowansville High Misremembered" "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities" and "Cancer Calls Collect" now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle >>>>>>>All covers also done by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Cowansville High School Misremembered" book is now out as a fundraiser for the school._______________________ ___________________ Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee. Linda Seccaspina was born in Cowansville Quebec about the same time the wheel was invented. _____________________________________ She used to own clothing stores in Ottawa and Toronto Ontario Canada from 1974-1996 called Flash Cadilac, Savannah Devilles, Nightmares and Flaming Groovies. _____________________________________ Her brain tries to writes stories about her menopausal life and a host of other things she gets annoyed at. _____________________________________ She has two sons, Schuyleur and one that does not want his name mentioned. She has a grandson called Romeo who is a Boston Terrier and a grandaughter Bella who is a french bulldog. _____________________________________ Linda loves people quite plain and simple and loves to hug.. Yes, she is one of "those".





 It's 9:30 am and I am running late. Dr Oz has been spreading his ' fear talk' for the last thirty minutes, and I need to get out of here.

But, at this moment I am reading Open Salon blogs from fellow writers. They used to be… Read full post »




In Cranbrook British Columbia this week, a woman and her teenage son were charged with lacing Gummy Bears with LSD. Yes, once again the Mounties got their man. Or, in this case a woman, and her 18 year old son.

But in another Keystone Cops… Read full post »


 "Bella, did you know Grandma Linda was born in Quebec, Canada ?"

"Is she French?" asked Bella

"No, she isn't, but she speaks both French and English, because Canada is a bilingual country." said Romeo.

"Did you know she ate all sorts of weird Quebec food growing up?"

"How… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 13, 2010 10:44AM


If McDonalds can advertise over 245 billion sold, I figure I can also speak about a few things too.

Linda Seccaspina and her stores sold over 10,000 drag queens their wigs, underwear, and their stage clothes from 1974-1997, and she loved each and every one of them.

There is absolutely… Read full post »

Update.. we figured it out..

Firefox upgraded yesterday and since then we have not been able to load pictures on OS. NO problem emailing them or posting them anywhere else.

So the smart one in my family went to Internet Explorer and got them to load up but as he said… Read full post »

Please do play the video as you read this.




As I reach for my hellium balloon to fly away to parts unknown, I see them all waving.

Once smaller than church mice, my sons now almost touch the sky.




The water is still, as I… Read full post »


Many many years  ago I was eavesdropping outside where my sons were playing with their friends.  I heard one say to my son Sky,

"You know my Mother says your Mum is weird, but you know what? Your Mum rocks!"

I smiled quitely, and kept on watering the flowers. I heard one… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 9, 2010 10:54AM

Should I even Bother to Write this ?

So much going on in the world, so much hate, and so many memories.

Does anyone even want to read something funny these next few days? Does anyone care?  Should I even bother to try and lighten someone' s day;  even though I feel like crying too?



 … Read full post »

I wrote this in 1995 under a nom de plume.

Because I was knew people that were into 'much needed anger management sex' and sold props that could be used for 'said people' that liked 'anger sex', I consider this erotica.

Nothing like a tongue lashing to provide a pleasureable… Read full post »




I have lots of funny stories to tell you about my trip. Yes, lots of them, but my mind is not allowing me to do them today. 

No, I cannot go into my notebook that is  filled with long hand written notes about a journey that… Read full post »



 Please kindly click on the music before you begin.



In my heart I still love you.

You gave me comfort when I was sad, or when hunger filled my mind.

You were always there for me, and you held my hand… Read full post »

Yesterday, I got this flyer in the mail from KFC. They had a spectacular photogenic family on the front dressed in white T shirts. Yes, they were smiling from ear to ear as if worshipping the fried chicken gods.

"Back to School  Family Special " for only $19.99 CDN stated… Read full post »



What does anyone in US power do when they want to blame someone for terrorists  slipping through the borders?

Who does a lot of the US population think is funny?

Open Salon has been broken for the last few days. Who should we blame?

As the animated series South Park says,

"Blame… Read full post »

As an author do you write what you feel without thoughts of others?

Do you have remorse after you write and publish sometimes ?

Even if it might be disturbing to some, do you still  write it because it is factual?

Do I write about one of the biggest… Read full post »

As a child, my grandmother used to tell me all sorts of stories about the depression.

Every morning she would make sandwiches for hungry people knocking on her door. Her weathered screened verandah became a shelter for five or six people a night who had no place… Read full post »


Friday night my daughter in law stood at my bedroom door at 11:30 pm and asked in a very concerned voice.

"Linda, are you awake?"




It seems that Jerome, the over size skunk that lives in the old playhouse, either came home drunk from 'The Moose',… Read full post »

 I just saw that rally on television this morning, and I had to repost this.It was from July 19th and my opinion of him has not changed.



Word on the street came late Friday afternoon that Glenn Beck was chosen to be the new  host of  the… Read full post »



After reading this story on the internet, I was amazed that no one on Open Salon, or even Stephen Colbert had picked this up.


On July 30th, Canadian police officers made a routine drug raid in a remote area of British… Read full post »



 Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

I read a few Open Salon posts this morning, and I got angry. Then I did the morning chores, and smoke started to come out of my ears. By the time I stood in line at the deli counter, I was ready… Read full post »



The day I was born God looked at me from way up high and said,

"This girl is going to be different, I can feel it. We had better not call her back anytime soon.  She is definitely going to be trouble."… Read full post »


Which ones leave you quickly, and which ones haunt you for life?

One of my top ten would be the late great Woolworth's in Montreal.

Every few months my grandmother and I would make the one hour bus trip to the city for wig maintenance.

You see, the… Read full post »



slap chop1


So where was I in February of 2009 when my favourite infomercial guy got arrested?

Yes, where was I when  "Vince" Offer Shlomi  was seen on the cover of  'The Smoking Gun' and 'TMZ'  looking like something from the cover of Fangoria magazine?

And Vin… Read full post »


 When I was a child I broke out into hives everytime I ate fruit.

 As I got older, it was not as bad, but it also gave me heartburn. 




 … Read full post »


                                   "The fog comes on little cat feet"


Like the fog that I captured on 'film' last… Read full post »


Clean or Dirty underwear, pantie fetishes or sniffers ?

What is what, and who is where?

What is it all about?

When I was folding my laundry today, I thought about my grandmother, and her complete insanity on the subject. She had a daily… Read full post »