Linda Seccaspina

The Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee

Linda Seccaspina

Linda Seccaspina
Location
WHOOOOOOOOOOOVILLE, Peaceful
Birthday
July 24
Title
The Maiden of Death
Company
When you wish upon a star
Bio
Linda's column can now be read in The Humm newspaper and online. My books "Menopausal Woman From the Corn" "Cowansville High Misremembered" and "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities" now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle >>>>>>>Profile Photo by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go>>>>>>>> Cover also done by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Cowansville High School Misremembered" book is now out as a fundraiser for the school._______________________ ________________***Linda's writing can be read Monday to Friday on Zoomers.ca where links to her stories have been picked up by Time Online, USA Today and Huffington Post from other sites she has blogged on.She is also a contributor on Yahoo.....>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Linda's Photo's can be seen on: http://linda-seccaspina.fineartamerica.com/____________________________________ Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee. Linda Seccaspina was born in Cowansville Quebec about the same time the wheel was invented. _____________________________________ She used to own clothing stores in Ottawa and Toronto Ontario Canada from 1974-1996 called Flash Cadilac, Savannah Devilles, Nightmares and Flaming Groovies. _____________________________________ Her brain tries to writes stories about her menopausal life and a host of other things she gets annoyed at. _____________________________________ She has two sons, Schuyleur and one that does not want his name mentioned. She has a grandson called Romeo who is a Boston Terrier and a grandaughter Bella who is a french bulldog. _____________________________________ Linda loves people quite plain and simple and loves to hug.. Yes, she is one of "those".

MAY 21, 2012 10:50AM

The Odd Ins and Outs of Public Sex

Rate: 49 Flag


Did I miss a memo somewhere that having sex in public is sexy?  For decades my eyes have not been closed to those that seek anonymous sex somewhere other than a bedroom. In fact when I owned a retail store I used to sell international guide books right next to my Gay Bob Dolls, where one might find a little activity when traveling.

Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I know Applebee's and Target can be a bedroom away from home in those family style bathrooms - as long as you don't park your butt on those iffy diaper changing tables.

Never mind the Mile High Club; how about the Drive Thru of some fast food joint on a busy weekend when you have 7 minutes to spare in a long line-up? Which reminds me that my friend should have consulted me a few months ago about this idea before she got a ticket for public indecency. Unless it's the manager, this one is probably a no-no. 


It would be the same issue with having sex in the Sheriffs Department mens room across from your probation officer. A neighbour found out quickly that Have Gun Will Travel  in an official place should probably not occur. 
 
 s-ALAN-PETRUSSON-TIED-TO-TREE-large
 
men11

 
 
Last week Bobcat Goldwaith look-alike Alan Petrusson tied himself to a tree, blindfolded himself, exposed his frank and beans and waited for anonymous sex in a Ramsey, MN park. I've heard of 'tree huggers' and 'nature lovers', but this guy's in a category of his very own. How does a blindfolded person tie himself to a tree ? Doesn't that take all the romance out of anonymous sex in a park?
 
 
 
 
rumplestilskin 

 
 
According to the Huffington Post,

"It's the weirdest thing I've heard of out there," said Ramsey Police Chief James Way ."We have had reports of sexual activity out there though."
When Ramsey Police found  Petrusson's car with pornographic material in the back seat; the man came forward and admited that it was his car and he had been just sleeping against the tree. 
 
 
 
 
night 


"I don't believe that," Way said. "That's up to a judge and/or jury to determine, if it gets that far."

Since the tree he was allegedly tied to was not on park property Petrusson faces charges of indecent exposure, and your basic lewd conduct and trespassing.
 
Local newspaper The Coon Rapids Herald has continually reported of patrons frequenting the park apparently thinking "fly-fishing" is permissible. 
 
 
 
 
masc1 

 
 
Petrusson is darn lucky it wasn't time for squirrels to be gathering nuts and if he was that desperate why didn't he call The Kardashians. They just love public exposure!
 
 
 
 
 
mazombies 
 
 
 
Photos and Text by Linda Seccaspina 2012 
 

Linda Secaspina 2012- author of "Menopausal Woman From the Corn"

Now available on Amazon US and Amazon Canada. Canadians please contact me for books to get cheaper shipping.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Linda Blogs about this and that daily on:

 

 

 

 

 

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So this guy is a lookalike for Bobcat Goldthwaite, and that's supposed to be a come on? Ewwwwwww!!!!
Love Jerry Lee - now there's a bad boy!!!
PS Going to buy Kindle version now. :-)
Hysterical!! I will have to be careful about my use of the term "fly fishing" in my future posts. Also, the possibility of a getting case like that of Mr. Petrusson's is why people try to shun jury duty like the plague. The Jerry Lee Lewis clip was a perfect finale. R
You think you've heard it all and them you read about a guy who tied himself to a tree...

It's a strange world out there.
I hope the guy at least had a condom on before he tied himself to the tree. If not, then that blew his chances right there...
What will they think of next for the thrill of it all?/r
Bears everywhere would love to hug a bare-assed man tied to a tree. ;) "This chap is just right" said the little bear.
You may recall that Sam Adams Beer somehow or other sponsored two gross-out counterculture radio talk show types who gave prizes for listeners who had public sex in weird places. (Opie & Anthony? I forget.) Anyway, the winner one day was a couple who got it on in St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York. Huge embarrassment for all those involved who were still capable of embarrassment.
CC: The thought alone had me at hello

Gerald: I too had no idea those words might have a double entendre.,

JLS: and I tackle them one day at a time :)
Rugrat_ Yeuuuh
Christine..some porn company would have made a fortune
Belinda.. someone should have slathered him with honey
Con: Yep know those two well as I ahve sold some of their CDS. I hope it was a holy experience.:)
Huge smiles here. RATED!
Ha! Good one for Monday morning. Why do people arrested for public exposure always look like that guy and not, say, Ryan Gosling?
Man, I really don't understand that mentality. The thought processes that led to his deciding that the tree adventure was an idea whose time had come just do not compute. Can't say I'm much of a fan of more conventional forms of public sex either.
Thanks Jon..:)
Maureen: Because Ryan is taken :)
Abra: I am not either but every few days I write about the weird and nutty and realize I am quite sane.:)
Had my share of sex in public places... but that was forty years ago and I was almost always stoned.
I thought I had a talent for uncovering odd bits of news -- you surpass me! We live on an odd planet.
Subtract the L in "public" and there you go. Sending love, Linda. You are the only reason I entered the OS door today!
Leave it to you to keep us informed, my friend.
What about the tree? Did it feel violated?
JMac-- never either hahaha
Geezerchick: You know me.. love something that does not have a straight edge.

Mhold.. You are the sweetest.. I know how busy you are too. HUG
Sarah: I write these kinds of stories every few days as I yearn to work for the World Weekly News..:)

Kevin: the tree? I dont think he bark-ed a word..:)
Ha! "franks and beans..."
That is just bizarre.
But outdoors fun isn't! I was just saying to dear ol' hubby we needed to get out in the sunshine....the chance of running into bloggers are exactly why we don't! : )
I've missed you!
Geez, I am way behind over here...cool, I can catch up at lunch : )
Strange going-ons in Minnesota! Glad he didn't try this in January--he would have risked both frostbite and "shrinkage" (to quote George Costanza)
Just Thinking,
I have not gone anywhere.. I just blog twice a day on another channel. But I have been doing a blog once a month on here as I do love and miss this place.
I thought frank and beans just suited the devil.

Walter!!
Being avid Seinfeld fans that can quote like you.. yes we thought the same thing.:)
Was it a naughty Pine he tied himself to? Or did he molest a virgin Cherry tree?
This had me laughing all the way.
R
Linda, that's an amazing story and your wonderful humor makes this a great read! I am thinking Alan Petrusson mistook the tree for either a chestnut or mangrove tree. Perhaps sycamore would have been more appropriate!
Bobcat looked good on a special I saw the other night. Cleaned up, short hair and say's he's not on cocaine anymore. The night he set Jay Leno's coach on fire, he was fried~
I wonder if he got any action.
Loved this! I just wish your last name had an "s" on its butt. That would be funny too! Thanks for the chuckles R - Duke
Most excellent -- how does one tie oneself to ones tree??? and then put on a blindfold expecting the sex fairy to come by and, and, do what?? Thanks for the mental images....
This guy is a "woodpecker," a fetish common to the Pacific Northwest, and male employees of IKEA.
Now that's thinking outside the box, I mean the bedroom!
This all happened in America did it ? Hmmmmm. Remarkable take on the comings and goings of every day folk.
Sounds like some of the parks in London (still in England) after dark too.

Now sex on the bonnet of a V8 with a misfire and a conscenting lady of horizontal refreshment - that's the ticket, wot wot.
Your postings are always so entertaining, albeit off the wall. I love that about you!
Out on a limb; He pined for the tree

Designantor: I think the latter
Scanner: I remember that
Miguela: Splinter action
Texas: Isnt my last name bad enough? LOL
Marty: I was trying to figure that out too:)
Little Willie: LOL
Cindy: I wonder how long it took him to plan this
Creekend: bring the law back to the colonies mate!
Anna: Thanks , not on that much anymore but love my OS friends
I'm surprised the Kardashians haven't started a new reality TV show featuring such shenanigans.
"sleeping against a tree"... is that what they call it these days?
I've been hearing stories about this trend in Britain for a few years now. It's called "dogging." Puttenham, England, apparently has become world famous for its thriving public-sex community. ...
The problem is easy to explain with only one word: Minnesota!

I mean just look at the other "fine" representative of that state =

• Minnesota gave the performing arts that great thespian Kevin Sorbo (can anyone ever forget his moving portrayal of Herc?)

• Minnesota gave us that icon of juris prudence Warren Burger. (yes Virginia... There WAS a homophobic bigot on the Supreme Court!)

• Minnesota gave us to us that pentacle of polititical gravitas Jesse "The Body" Ventura! (didn't he wear his feather boa to his inauguration?)

So, bottom line, ALL Minnesotans are freakin nuts!

P.S. They LIKE lutefisk. Need I say more???
a nearsighted morel hunter goes into the woods...
Chickenmaan... Give em time.:)
Razzle: Could have fooled me too.
Deborah: I found out about it in the 70's.. now it seems common. Oh my!
Painting: Looks like he did not catch anything either
Amy, you are quite correct and thank you for bringing these travesties into the light. The problem is why is there no more of this going on say hmm.. in AZ? Besides Brewer's puritanical views on women and such she just pulled a veto of volunteerism bill. Maybe someone should tie her to a tree until she screams 'mercy'.

Damon: Let;s hops this does not mushroom into our nation's parks.:)
Today's title is one of your funnier ones, Linda! LOl
Very weird---and how was he able to tie and blindfold himself to that tree, anyhow?
*shakes head, wanders off like Tink*
R
1. My daughter's friends tried doing it in a park. Not only did they not get to complete the deed, but Mommy and Daddy had to come bail them out of jail. Not a red-letter day.

2. The men's room at a highway rest stop not far from my home is known as a gay cruising spot. When the cops did a sting there a couple years ago, one of the guys caught was a co-worker of mine. Let's just say there was a lot of talk at work the next day, none of it about business projects.

Home is where the heart is. And where the testicles should be.
"as long as you don't park your butt on those iffy diaper changing tables."

Trust me, you don't wanna park it on them!! OUCHIE!! Hard floor hurts!! :D
Minnesota, huh? I can't wait to hear about this on Prairie Home Companion!
I just have to say this- I like Kevin Sorbo.
"It's the weirdest thing I've heard of out there," said Ramsey Police Chief James Way ."We have had reports of sexual activity out there though."

Well but wait. Sex is a beautiful thing, they teach the kiddos.
The adults never lie to children,so it must be so.
Lots of young people have taken them to heart.
Instant pictures etched into eternity.
of..


Public? what is that? internet, real life, trees, planes,
etc.

i got no idea what a gay bob doll is.
What an odd character and how UNsexy can you get? He's lucky no unsavory characters came along to menace those frank and beans! Groovy photos, Linda! Xo
Myriad.. I am in tears half the time when I write some of these.. Idiots..

Poor Woman.. Maybe Tink will know :)
Cranky: Last line says it all hahaha

Tink: HMMMM
Phyllis: :)
James: Gay Bob was a huge seller in the old days. I sold him right next to the legal poppers..:)
Thanks Ms Erica K.:)
Linda,Only the tree knows the truth!!!

It is indeed an odd world...to say the least..I liked your images!!!Rated...

Thank you for sharing!!!
Real men don't need a strap-on tree trunk.
Stahi: I so agree..:)
Steve: I keep telling you this almost every single day.. stand up comedy is your forte! :)
OMG thanks so much for the daring adventure into the park and more.
In all my years I never had sex in public. Wonder if I missed anything?
Is anybody here looking?
Algis.. no... shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :)
As much as I love the title for this piece and your humorous take on the situation, I can’t stop looking at that second phota and wondering “what IS that??”
Its a mannequin that I photoshopped to look phallic Various hahaha
How sexy can it be with a tree trunk scraping your back?????? Just sayin'...

Lezlie
Oh boy! I guess I kind of admire his conviction, though - there's a man who knows what he wants, and is willing to risk a lot to get some.
lezlie.. I so agree
Alysa: That's one heck of a conviction..:)
Hilarious! Who is dumb enough to have sex in the Sheriff's Dept? I don't think I'd like public sex. I know I wouldn't want to use a public restroom, too much ewww factor. The tree guy is mystifying, both how and why. I suppose it's to each their own. I'm grateful I'm happy with regular at home sex, I would hate being arrested.
Me too Bleue..:) High five to that one
HUGGG
The sheer volume of stupid in the world never ceases to amaze. Lovely photographs!
I once had sex at a crowded community beach (Cory Beach in Patchogue) with my wife. We were in the water over our waists so nobody could see much. Another attractive couple started it first then we joined in and after that another couple joined in. I have also had sex on a nude beach on Fire island but that doesn’t count it is quite common on the beach between Robert Moses Field 5 and Kismet. I have also been to the Vault in Manhattan but that doesn’t count either. You had to get busy in there or you would be thrown out. No sight seeing allowed.
I think alfresco has always been in style but this is taking things to a whole new (sub) level!