Linda Seccaspina

The Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee

Linda Seccaspina

Linda Seccaspina
Location
WHOOOOOOOOOOOVILLE, Peaceful
Birthday
July 24
Title
Formerly called The Maiden of Death by Derek Raymaker Xpress Magazine
Company
When you wish upon a star
Bio
Linda's column can now be read in The Humm newspaper and online. Also pick up an issue of Screamin Mamas magazine from Florida for a peak at some of my writing. My books "Menopausal Woman From the Corn" "Cowansville High Misremembered" "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities" and "Cancer Calls Collect" now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle >>>>>>>All covers also done by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Cowansville High School Misremembered" book is now out as a fundraiser for the school._______________________ ___________________ Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee. Linda Seccaspina was born in Cowansville Quebec about the same time the wheel was invented. _____________________________________ She used to own clothing stores in Ottawa and Toronto Ontario Canada from 1974-1996 called Flash Cadilac, Savannah Devilles, Nightmares and Flaming Groovies. _____________________________________ Her brain tries to writes stories about her menopausal life and a host of other things she gets annoyed at. _____________________________________ She has two sons, Schuyleur and one that does not want his name mentioned. She has a grandson called Romeo who is a Boston Terrier and a grandaughter Bella who is a french bulldog. _____________________________________ Linda loves people quite plain and simple and loves to hug.. Yes, she is one of "those".

MY RECENT POSTS

JUNE 16, 2011 9:58AM

Weird and Wacky Wooden Woman Wows Widower

Rate: 47 Flag


In one of my favourite movies, Weekend at Bernie’s Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman drag their dead boss around the Hamptons so no one would find out he was dead.

Heh, wasn’t Andrew McCarthy also in that 80’s movie called“Mannequin” with Kim Cattrall?

Could any of this happen in real life?

aned

 

Last fall while driving down Erie Blvd in Syracuse, New York I saw these two and thought that the man had made some sort of scarecrow for his garden. Today I found out that she was no scarecrow - she is actually Ned Nefer's trophy wife.

Ned and Teagan Nefer spend their summer vacations in upstate New York every year. Mr. Nefer is quite the living and loving husband while he pushes his wife of 25 years for miles in a wheelchair. In a Weekend at Bernie’s moment, Teagan is not actually a woman. Instead of blood pumping through her veins she just hands out splinters as she is actually a wooden mannequin.


Ned actually found the mannequin head back in the 1980’s and made a special wooden body to attach to the head. Not content with just a relationship  he actually married her on Halloween night back in 1986. They have become the ultimate organic couple.


The duo have attracted attention worldwide and even inspired Facebook fan sites. Erin LeClair and her fiance, Steve Kalwarovski first saw them on Facebook in February and finally met them by chance. At the time Mr. Teagan was in a lot of pain as he was pushing his wife and their groceries 40 miles to his campsite.

 LeClair commented,

"Despite what you may think, Ned is very approachable.”

She was also quick to state that while she's not a mental health expert, she doesn't believe that Nefer is mentally ill. Mrs. Leclair said although his wife does not talk much she does communicate with her husband. She also added that he was extremely intelligent, polite and kind to them.

When I was a child we watched an old man make a strange looking creature on his porch every day. One day my grandmother threw out one her many Gabor wigs that she wore into the garbage. We watched while he fished it out the next day on his way to the store and he told my grandmother that it was for the scarecrow he was making for his garden.

Some nights when we bicycled passed his house we watched him tenderly pull ‘her’ off the pole and bring her inside. Not one of us really understood why but no one really questioned anything in those days. My grandfather just used to tease my grandmother that the scarecrow looked a little  like her.

 

anedni


I know upstate New York fairly well and do believe that anyone pushing a
mannequin in a wheelchair for any distance is a rarity. The couple has had their background investigated by Jefferson County Sheriff John P. Burns. The Sheriff said that Ned’s name has been shortened but he does have a valid state Department of Motor Vehicles identification card. He also added that he does not have a valid Driver’s License and loves photography.


Teagan Yvonne Savannah Thjodhild-Nefer has no identification and comes from a mixed family. Ned said that she lived in Haiti and Sudan before moving to America and has an Icelandic father and Sudanese mother. In a nosy neighbour moment the deputy has responded to calls about the couple but has never been taken into custody.

Lisa Spear, a social welfare examiner for the Jefferson County Department of Social Services, agrees she has never met anyone like him. She said,

"I wouldn't classify him as dangerous at all. He seemed quite happy in his own little world," she declared.


Spear also said she heard Ned may have once been married to a woman, but that his wife died. "I'm not sure if this is his way of dealing with the death or that this is some way of coping with post-traumatic stress disorder, but he seemed very sincere," she said.


Mr.Kalworovski says he's had some great conversations about music with Ned. Besides photographing photos of town and village signs, rock formations and cemeteries, he loves metal music. Ned’s favorite bands are Godsmack and Disturbed, and one has to maybe wonder if being wooden is an asset if your husband loves this type of music.


Maybe in some men’s minds he has the perfect wife. This is a woman that will never asks for the remote control.

Text: Linda Seccaspina 2011

Images: Google

 

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Comments

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Those are some boobs! I think it is such a sweet story. You are a wonder, Linda. Truth is truly stranger than fiction!
He gives new meaning to "having wood". Nice way to humanize a guy most probably would just think is crazy...
Zanelle: golf balls for nipples.. Guess we know what he is into hahaha
Rugrat? Wood? LOL you are clever this morning at 7 am hahaha
Hey! He's a guy so of course his imaginary wife has a set of big boobs....he may be crazy but he ain't dumb! :-)
As long as he's happy, let him roll it~
This is truly a weird and wonderful story. It reminds me why I like people. Rock on Linda!
I worked for a dead boss once. funny thing is, he fired me.
Elijah: yes he is!!
Torman: he actually reminds me of one of my old store customers..:)
Scanner: and he rolls 40 miles a week from Watertown to Syracuse.:)

Neil Paul: Absolutely none at all as I am part of it. I just promote them..:)

Rei: To each his own :)
Hey, maybe I have a sister I don't know about! Thanks for the morning smile.
Yes, quite a rack. Did you ever see Lars and the Real Girl? Cute movie, though a little disturbing. It would be hard to live with that in real life. And always with the big knockers.
I love that you share these whacky stories with us. Makes for very interesting reads especially with your skill and videos!
Wondering if this was the inspiration for the movie: Lars and the Real Girl... just saw it on Netflix. Kinda a sweet movie with a message.
Bleue: All of us have family everywhere..:)

Oryoki: I have never seen it. this man found the head outside an orphanage where he used to live as a child. I sense he just kept going back there after he was old enough.

Buffy: I enjoy wacky because it makes the government seem ormal.:)

Vivian: I am going to have to watch that movie and who knows. I loved the 80's mannequin movie though. Kim is going well growing older although I am sure plastic surgery has had some say.
There is someone or something for everyone. At least she can't nag or sass back.
Bleue: All of us have family everywhere..:)

Oryoki: I have never seen it. this man found the head outside an orphanage where he used to live as a child. I sense he just kept going back there after he was old enough.

Buffy: I enjoy wacky because it makes the government seem ormal.:)

Vivian: I am going to have to watch that movie and who knows. I loved the 80's mannequin movie though. Kim is doing well growing older although I am sure plastic surgery has had some say.
He seems to be a happy man, and there is a big smile on HER face too ...
You wow every single time, Linda. R.
There's another movie, about a guy who marries a blow-up doll. I can never remember the name of it. You find the strangest people, Linda.
I have watched the 80's "Mannequin" movie many times and when I added the soundtrack for this blog I realized Kim Cattrall was the mannequin hahaha
Different strokes for different folks. -R-
Miguela: I hope there is a lot of things she cannot do.
:)
Dianaani: he looks happy and so is she yet when you are off you are watched by the 'management". Too bad they do not do that with some of our politicians. Wait.. they are supposed to be normal:)

Jon: I have barely been out of the house in over a month. BUT I can still write and love to do it.:) OS is my company while I have been sick.

Matt: A Long time ago I did a fashion photo shoot with blow up dolls. They dont sass back adn wear everything you tell them to.:)
Ohh Christine.. I could say something naughty but I wont..:)
Taken under consideration
Where do you find these fascinating ideas, I never know what you will be writing about but I always know it will be good.
rated with love
Today is Tupac Shakur's birthday. Here's a quote from the man himself: "Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real." Looks like he was right.
Huggggssssssssssss Bobbot
Romantic Poetess: I live to read and learn about the oddities of life. I would love the world to accept anything different as normal but they won;t but I can try.

Maureen: Dreams can be real if you let them.
I strongly recommend "Lars and the Real Girl".

Beyond the surreal plot(which is great and entertaining), the film portrays a culture of "getting along" that I have seen in small town Wisconsin.

"Escanaba in da Moonlite"provides a similar cultural insight.

I wonder why the best film portrayals of this culture tend toward the surreal? Maybe it's like Bolivia and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It's magical unless you live there.
Read and learn - from Linda !
♥R
Love the ending--love your ear for a good story.
They are a very handsome couple although some might object to mixed marriages.
Okay Steve I am going to watch it.. I agree.. what is so wrong with getting along.

Fusun: and learn from Fusun too.
Sarah: In the old days I would be sitting around a pickle barrel hahaha
jack heart... only you and only you could mention that hahaha. Yes.. it is rural upstate new york..:) BUT I do love that area with a passion..
As I was reading your post I had this great idea to recommend the film Lars & the Real Girl to you, then read all who got here before I did. Quirky is my favorite film genre and this hits it on all levels. Check it out.
Loved this story!
Sure doesn't seem like he's dangerous, or that he's hurting anyone but himself by pushing a wooden woman in a wheelchair. If he's crazy, it seems to be a fairly harmless form of it. And we know if he ever hits her, he's likely to be hurt much worse than she will be.

But honestly, I do wonder what they find to talk about! Wonder what her positions are on deforestation...
rated
It might be wacky, but at least they don't argue incessantly. :D

Lezlie
I think this is such a nice story. I agree that it is most likely a way for him to deal with loss. Remember the movie Castaway and Wilson?
Loved this~
R
Due to my occasional unnatural attatchment to the stuffed animal collection, I can understand this guy a little too well! Nicely told story.
Ahhhh!! How romantic!! :D

Rated!!!
Schmoopie: Guess I am going to have to now.
Shiral: deforestation??:) LOL
Lwzlie: No bitching whining or complaining
Susie: Yes!!
Yserba: Go Huckleberry!!
Tink: sounds like yours and mine.. ya know kind of people hahaha
I always know I'm going to read something very interesting when I come here! Thanks Linda.
Interesting. Why not? I think if he is happy, capable of caring for his wife and she for him, well, why not? Mmmm He is not bothering anyone nor is he trying to make a real woman his wooden wife, so whats the problemo? To each his own I guess. You always have such interesting stuff on your blog, I thought this was artistically fascinating, especially the scarecrow part...
Inflatable wives are much easier to move than the totem-pole wife this guy is pushing around.
R
Hugs to you sweet Trilogy
Maurene: Yes , looks like he has been married to her longer than some.. But that walk from Syracuse to Watertown is a killer.:)
Sheila: My grandmothers wigs she wore all the time were very descriptive in look :)
Little Williw: yes he could use them as a kite and fly them home.:)
I think it's great that people can just get into their own world and not hurt anyone or exploit anyone - not so frequent these days. Power to Ned and his wife - and what you said about his music taste and his wife being wooden, cracked me up!
I think it's great that people can just get into their own world and not hurt anyone or exploit anyone - not so frequent these days. Power to Ned and his wife - and what you said about his music taste and his wife being wooden, cracked me up!
Sex must be a bitch...
Splinters are painful!
R
I guess do what makes you happiest. Good one!
Guy is totally ok in my book.
Seems happier than some of the miserable mopey
male denizens of my hometown, never to love, only
decades of loneliness because of mental abnormality.
"... do believe that anyone pushing a mannequin in a wheelchair for any distance is a rarity." - It seems that oddities are not only on the 'left coast'. Well done, Linda!
What Vivian said: Lars and the Real Girl. Despite the premise a deeply heart touching movie. Ryan Gosling rocks in it.
Having driven down Erie Blvd in Syracuse many times, I'm not surprised you'd find someone off-the-wall there. "Getting wood for my wife" means something different in his world.
I wonder if he stole her away from Kaw-liga?
Very odd, indeed. If I saw that, I'd stare for sure.
This reminds of the movie "Lars and the Real Girl" only in the movie the "girl" was a blow up doll. She had an inferiority complex, so Lars had to constantly inflate her ego. Couldn't resist. R
Great alliterative title!
Alysa: heavy metal- earplugs.:)

Steve- She must give out a lot of them
Algis: I so agree
James: pets are nice too.:)
Catherine many rural oddities
Cranky: LOL lots in Watertown too in the Salmon Run Mall.:)
Abrawang: clever..:)
Christina: many drive bys:)
Trduge: now I am going to have to see this movie.
Various: Merci baucoup>:)
Fascinating story, well told.
Truly wacky, but no harm, no foul. Ned is a puzzle that puts its own pieces together. Linda, I see a bit of the anthropologist in you: another figure in your pantheon of strange, interesting persons.
Thanks Zul:)

Jerry.. anthropologist... big time.. I like digging up stories hahaha