Linda Seccaspina

The Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee

Linda Seccaspina

Linda Seccaspina
July 24
Formerly called The Maiden of Death by Derek Raymaker Xpress Magazine
When you wish upon a star
Linda's column can now be read in The Humm newspaper and online. Also pick up an issue of Screamin Mamas magazine from Florida for a peak at some of my writing.>> My idol is former mentor and OPRAH senior associate producer Elizabeth Coady. Taskmaster extraordinaire but learned so much from her, and if I could be 1/8 as talented as her I 'd be laughing.>>>>> My books "Menopausal Woman From the Corn" "Cowansville High Misremembered" "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities" and "Cancer Calls Collect" now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle >>>>>>>All covers also done by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Cowansville High School Misremembered" book is now out as a fundraiser for the school._______________________ ___________________ Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee. Linda Seccaspina was born in Cowansville Quebec about the same time the wheel was invented. _____________________________________ She used to own clothing stores in Ottawa and Toronto Ontario Canada from 1974-1996 called Flash Cadilac, Savannah Devilles, Nightmares and Flaming Groovies. _____________________________________ Her brain tries to writes stories about her menopausal life and a host of other things she gets annoyed at. _____________________________________ She has two sons, Schuyleur and one that does not want his name mentioned. She has a grandson called Romeo who is a Boston Terrier and a grandaughter Bella who is a french bulldog. _____________________________________ Linda loves people quite plain and simple and loves to hug.. Yes, she is one of "those".


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MAY 11, 2011 9:55AM

The Seven Deadly Sins - The Electronic & Internet Edition

Rate: 55 Flag


Last week the police had to be called to interrupt a fight between two young men over an available iPad2 in Beijing China. Of course the Apple staff could not be reached for comment as they were too busy taking pictures of the incident on their iPhones. Malachi Urbini, an Art Institute of Pittsburgh student, was killed Sunday after he tried to trade his IPad and his IPod for heroin. What has this world come to? To heck with the gluttony and wrath from the Seven Deadly Sins; we now have brand new ones.


The Personal Computer 

It started out innocently and it initially was costing me a fortune in monthly internet fees. There really wasn’t much out there on dial up when I started except BBS boards. We were content to have the best flame wars ever known to man on a brown screen with yellow text.


My sons progressed down the cyber road like college graduates and pretty soon I was in charge of a Grade 3 class that did their book reports on the library computers. I just smiled and had no idea what cut and paste was until six months later when the next one was due. I was finally cutting and pasting with the best of those eight year olds. The teacher walked by and put a gold star on my hand pleased that I had finally come up to an elementary school status in the cyber world.





I never thought I would see the day where you could walk, talk and ignore life on a phone that could go out of the range of an antenna on a telephone base. What kind of miracle of life is this? I am still impressed with the LED lights on a calculator so how was I ever going to figure out apps, buttons and all things that are not friendly to Linda. Ebay sent me a pair of earphones when they bought Skype and I only use them to listen to music on my laptop. When someone calls me on Skype  I tell them to call back on a real phone since Skype is like listening to someone speaking in a tin can.


Big Screen TV

A  nowgoes out on a mission to find the biggest TV he can. The bigger the TV the bigger the balls he can throw around to entice the ladies or his friends. The proof is in the following Craigslist ad.


"I just want you to know I will date a woman between 3ft and 7ft tall as long as they are proportioned properly. Second you don’t have to make $150,000 a year! If you didn’t apply yourself last year and only made $149,000 in coin go ahead and contact me.  I might be able to overlook that. The house is nicely furnished and  I have a full blown home theater and big screen so the action feels like you're there.

Maybe a beer or two, BIG SCREEN TV and maybe even get off to some porn!” (unedited)



Internet Porn

Things have come a long way since the 35 mm black and white films shown in college days. Now your next door neighour might have a production company in his basement and you would never know it.

Do it yourself films are filling cyber space with titles like:

I’ve got Wood

Driving Miss Daisy Crazy

On Golden Blonde

Terms of Endowment



What happened to the day you could go shopping for music and enjoy it? Headline News recently reported that a Memphis woman was charged with murder after she bludgeoned her boyfriend to death with her 60GH iPod Photo. It was later found out that the story could possibly have some "iHoles" in it.




The iPad

I fondly call this little number a glorified Etch a Sketch.  I have been told there is some difficulty doing things but movies are great to watch on it. Steve just emailed me (from his phone!)  to say he could not email me on his iPad2.

They are very hard to find and Craigslist has some available for 800 to 900 dollars. You can find them between the listings for a Sharper Image Massage chair and a Heartway Rhumba mobility scooter. Clever people know where they can get more bang for their buck in the classifieds. You most certainly are not going to get it with an iPad. That is what you use your laptop for.






The thing I do not understand about Facebook is the “it’s complicated” button. What does that exactly mean? Or how about the over 200 photos of the newest pet that people upload?  Facebook is also the leading offender that is driving up the divorce rate. When and where will it end?


Google has just announced that their phone and tablet  is going to have an app to double as the ultimate TV remote control.  Who in the family is going to control this phone? Is this going to become the next deadly sin of us all after deaths have occured in attempting to change the channel?

Interestingly my spell check recognized none of these brands that I typed in as deadly sins  and I asked myself. 

Is Apple  really the devil?


Text and Images: Linda Seccaspina

Dedicated to Catherine Forsythe who is probably shaking her head right now.  :)



                 Short Shorts - Pixar and Rudy's Can't Fail Part 1


                    Short Shorts Pixar and Rudy's Can't Fail Part 2

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OMG! FIRST! Love you sweetheart!
Mary Mary Mary.. I love you..:)
I thought you were supposed to be working..:) HMMM this place is like drugs isn;t it..:)
This reminds me of the video someone posted here awhile back with a woman studying her iPhone while walking toward a fountain. She fell into the fountain, still staring at her iPhone, climbed out, shook herself off and kept walking, all the while glued to her iPhone. It was probly a stunt, but I like to think it was real.
Wow! You make some good points- and the creepy people you quote from Craig's list never ceases to amaze me- what a jerk!
Here's a link to the video: Oopsie
Matt: what have we come to?
Thanks for posting the video:)

Hayley: Like someone with a brain is going to run over there hahaha
Earlier, and as soon as you posted this ...
Snoopy paid me a daily visit`gin. Naughty.
To teach third grade must be wonderful.
Pupils no have nasty adult creepiness, yet.
Nowadays scanner poke and pat folk down.
If you see beauty in a woman's form? Slap!
I ain't got no impure thoughts. Wear socks.
Soft Alpaca socks make blogger act sweeter.
Lefty-wing-nuts screw lefty-tight and berate.
Right-wing-nuts rattle in cranial cavity loose.
If Left or Right nuts rattles in head? Shake it.
You wrote ...
Catherine Forsythe ...

She probably "shakes her right now."
I love when I can't label left or right.
If people can read my thought they`

Ma slap me.
But, I hope not.
I mean no harm.

Who blocks comments?
I can tell will I'm hacked.
Take Kerry to woodshed?
Spank behind a outhouse!
This sure do act 'fishy' `gin.
Very funny, and on the money and every time I visit my daughter in Oakland I have breakfast at Rudy's!
I`m pretty much done with Facebook now that I`ve given up the games there, but I do love my gadgets.. ;-)

By the way, hotels are going to have to add more outlets. I had a helluva time figuring out how to get everything charged up last night.
Roger: Rudy's..sigh.. Steve bought me a Rudy's Can't fail" Hoodie for Mother's Day. Ya cannot beat that!!! :) and oh Yeah breakfast..:)

Rugrat: I told you not to stay there hahahaha
I'm fully interactive and prefer to hang with others who enjoy human interaction. If someone wants to connect with me they can call on my oCellPhone (ordinary cell phone). I refuse to get text messaging or other human avoidance technology, oVoiceMail still works for me.

I'm already stressed out, adding gadgetatious jigginess when I'm out and about won't benefit me. I keep an oMap and oPhoneBook in my car, if I need to find a business I use the oPhone and call an oHuman for a location.

Spell check hates my comment, and I love this post!
Art, I was going to write a poem but this just said it all hahaha

Take Kerry to woodshed?
Spank behind a outhouse!

The secret to not being affected by all this crap is to not be so neurotic that you just have to have something because some judgemental assshole says you should.
They are only that way so that they can fool their little selves into thinking they're superior.
It's all bullshit and, they have a full supply..
Bleue.. I have a tracfone.. It does nothing but call. It does have a etxt feature but I cannot figure out how to use it. BUT
If I have cyber troubles and our fair Catherine tells me how to fix it by the end of two weeks I have it figured out..:)
The great benefit of Facebook is that it eliminates that uneasy feeling that others may be having more fun than you. The mass of lives out there are quite obviously a complete snore.
Betting it was real, Matt and Linda terrific again! r.
"When is it going to end? Never!"
Unless someone pulls the plug we are into the cyberage with a bang. I for one love it but then I love most sins.
I’ve got Wood

Driving Miss Daisy Crazy

On Golden Blonde

Terms of Endowment

Love these titles and love this post. I am actually scared and worried over all these wireless devices. Nice post and POV. Your sons like my friends are like western gun slingers with these devices. Any time a question arises out come a device and within moments the answer is there.....but at what cost to our DNA ? Then the passing on of this DNA in an destructed form for future generations.Thanks for this post, Our blogging genius!
I resisted technology for years. I hated pagers. I felt few people actually needed them, like doctors, plumbers, business exectutives, etc. Everyone else was a poseur. I never played that game. I was also late to get a PC and cell phone for the same reason. But boy oh boy once I got hooked I was hooked. Now I couldn't imagine life without my gadgets. I don't do the ipad yet because I'm still enjoying my Kindle. I don't do the iphone yet cause I'm still enjoying my Blackberry. I'm sure I will get there eventually, no rush though.

Interesting stuff Linda...I likey.
XJS: I dont.. because I feel stupid no able to figure this stuff out haha// So Steve takes my place hahaha

Brassawe: LOL I know.. who knew what went on in the homes of America??

Jon: I so believe that video of Matt's.. I have seen something similar.

Zanelle: We all love our naught girl..:)

Will: I agree about the bullshit but where is it going to end? BTW I bet you were a hell of a BBS board flamer..:)
I don't know if Apple is the devil, but I've given a lot of thought about technology in my life. I'm always slow to warm up to new things, but I find myself tied to this computer nearly every day. Not even the strong can resist this new sin!
Algis: It scares me.. Were these generations born with a computer chip? Can I not grasp these things because I really do not want to let them into my life? I had crib notes for weeks on how to upload pictures hahah

BSB: I agree no rush.. Death is coming faster for me than a new iPad..:)
BUT the PC saved me $$$$$ of psycho analysis treatment..:)
LOl Rei!!
can you see the invisible glue on my fingers? :) I have to go out today and it;s killing me..:)
Oh so true.

I liked the Pixar video. I took Amtrak to SF almost once a week for a couple of years. Changed from train to bus and rolled through Emeryville, past Pixar to the Bay bridge. Always wondered what Emeryville was like but never had time to walk around. Seems an unlikely place for anything creative.

Thanks to you, now I know.
another Steve: I think it has the most creativity in all the world. You can feel it.:)
Yes darling but Apple products are the best so far. I guess it's not the tools but how people use them. All this stuff feeds into excess. I LOVE Marty Stuart and thanks for CD's band the song!

We're trying to get down South if the weather ever clears!
ha! As much as I am surrounded by technology, I find that it can be so stressful. For example, I am one of those people who would like to be without a cell phone. That seems to distress my 'geek' friends.
Scarlet: Of course it is hahaha. I admit I am a tech moron.. If I can turn on the computer and my tracfone.. well I am impressed haha

Catherine: I would so love to know just an with of what you know.
But that is not to be. I understand about the phone..:)
I am so technologically advanced that only today did I finally learn to link in my blog! (Only took 2+ years.) I love all of it and enjoy trying to figure things out...duh. Not so much television though.

These just may be the new sins.
Oh Buffy.. thank you I just feel so much better.
Let's dance..:)
My older son is a computer technician. He lives and breathes computers. Before he married and left home, you'd think he would have taught his old mama something...Not!
Wow we have really jumped in our technology. I't scary when my two year old grandson knows how to do the WII remote better than Nanny!
My name is RP and I am an IPad addict.
I have no intention of giving it up, I came here
to share a new app with you.
Wonderful post, I want to eat at Rudy's
rated with love
A Walrond.. I so agree. why didn;t those grade 3 kids teach me more??:)
Christine.. AT least you can do it..:) LOL I am so brain dead..

R Poetess: You love your etch a sketch:) HUGGGGG
I'm glad you dedicated this to Catherine. She is my 'go-to' person now for tech issues. She's saved me more than once with her comp suggestions.
Linda I do know one person (who must remain nameless) who has "It's complicated" as his Facebook status. It isn't. He's married to a total bitch and hasn't the balls to leave her and is hoping some other woman will be dumb enough to lure him away.
In the UK there's a web site called Friends Reunited, where you put in your elementary school, cub scout pack, HS, college etc and regain contact with people you would avoid if you were crazy enough to go to the reunion. Apparently it has led to a stunning number of divorces when former HS sweethearts abandon their probably relieved spouses for each other. Wonder how long it takes them to find out the person it was fun to fumble with in the back of their dad's Ford out by the bay in 1972 is actually a total psycho and impossible to live with and they should have stuck with the first wife who may have lost her figure but at least has foibles you know and can tolerate as she tolerated yours for so long (person who told me that shall also remain nameless).
You are so great.-R-
Somehow.... it's never been my ambition to be appropriately proportioned like a big screen tv. =o)

I will say, I do love and rely on my iPod. It's not just that I love having music to work by when I'm at work. It's a hand-held sanity device and aid to concentration, and a lot cheaper than a murder trial. Without it, I might have murdered one of my colleagues a thousand times over.

I'll buy an iPad when they come up with a name for it that does't make me think of feminine hygiene products.
=o) Is Apple actually the devil? I don't know--I'm pretty sure they're not the true God, or true prophet, though.
Unfortunately, a lot of young people are losing the face to face skills of communication as they rely more and more on their electronics.
I'm just pissed I didn't buy Apple stock a few years ago when Steve Jobs and Apple were being written off...
...and I'm glad to hear I don't need an iPad2... : )
Haha - I love the dedication! I agree some of these technological aspects of modern life are really confusing and even downright annoying! I do use the internet (but of course!), skype and I have a souped-up ipod, but that's all. I hate the idea of facebook and I hate that it slows down pages from starting even though I'm not on facebook and don't want to be able to tell my "friends" every little thing I'm doing and buying online. They'd only see lolcats, OS, dlisted, and wikipedia, anyway. Thank you for pointing out the kind of uselessness of the ipad.
After reading all these comments I am reminded of how I imagine that future archaeologists will find trillions of CDs and think we must have worshipped them...what will they think iPads are?
Thanks for the e-roundup. No end to this folly! Hard to stay an outsider, though.
there is nothing immaterial or artifactual (sinful?)
about your own presence in the online world

note: speaking of Etch-A-Sketch,
what are we going to about
acid in the paper that is burning scars
in the faces of people who are only
in pictures now?
A wonderful "history" of technology. John Naismith was right! This stuff no longer serves us. We serve it.
Evil comes in many forms, and Apple seems to be the leader in evil innovation!

I still believe in quill pens, dipped in ink.
I still believe in quill pens, dipped in ink.
mmmmmm Lea, yeah baby, come on over.... : )
(sorry, couldn't resist!)
I am having a good time and it feels kind of natural to log in or log out and I do not worry. I have been dreaming of this world ever since I learned to read and began reading scifi and I hope I also get to taxi to the moon on a lazy saturday afternoon soon and send you hologramed blog post specially designed for you, from there. Love and hugs (the way you like it :) )
I touch for music, taking pics and videos, and bowling, and my little Horizon phone, do me fine, as long as I can tex my sons and grandkids, I am good. Skype sound works well for us. Tech, sometimes I feel I could do without, but Nahhh!! Hugs for the great write, love your style!xxoo
I was wondering, if you dressed up as an iPad2 and went to a Geek Party, would that give you more buck for your bang?

Facebook doesn't cause divorce. It just provides a means to make your spouse leave you faster than they would have anyway. I imagine some folks' marriages have been saved by giving the other somewhere else to natter all day long. "Look what I just did! come, look at this! did you know .... " Like OS does for other marriages.
I'm suppose to be one of the semi-young technology grabbers but, well, my cell phone isn't smart, it can call people, has a camera and I have apps.

GoogleMap is an app.


I still haven't fell into Facebook. Some of my friends are like, "You need to join!!!! UPDATES!!!"

"You can just send me an email with UPDATES I need to KNOW! I don't need to KNOW that you're at a fancy restuarant without me!" **giggle**
Eve: Catherine is my heroine. If I could only be so smart.. She is one of those geniuses you read about.

GeeBee: WOW.. that story was something else. I know at least 10 people that have 'It's complicated" on their FB page. Get un complicated please.

Christine: If I cold look a piece of tech in the face and udnerstand then I might be a wee bit great hahaha

Shiral: I am going to do a Cyril the Gnome here to that ipad comment.. lololololololol:)
Chrisssie: tell me about it
Victoira: Thanks
Just Thinking.. no you don;t..
as shiral said ipad- sanitary products hahahaha Thats what they will think

Alysa: I prefer the etch a sketch.. at least you can control it.UNTIL you drop it hahaha

Leon: I am!!!
Ume: YOU are a prophet like my friend Brassawe
Walter... we are gluedddddddddddddddddd

Lezlie: That is what I think.. so many new sins..
Maurene: dont ask don't tell LOL.. that is a good one
Lea is our gal Just Thinking.. She still has calss in her fingers with that quill pen..:)
Rolling: Bucket list for Linda: One postcard from Rolling from the moon..:)

Cindy: Well you must have Skype from some other channel hahaha. Everytime my son calls me it is awful.
Oryoki: so well said
Ava.. welcome!! glad you have apps..:)
I was so disappointed when they took the porn app off the iPhone. Six hundred bucks and no goodies!! Robber-baronry.

But doll without this phone I would not be enjoing you, while I wait to leave one practice field and run to another. I savor the 10 minutes it gives me to connect. Love ya doll.
I am so lost on Facebook. I only joined when OS was going to close, or rumors of it's demise were everywhere. My wife uses it and says people will download 500 photos of their weekend. Who cares? Great Post as usual!
what if we all got the remote control implant, and then everybody in the world would override everybody else, all the time!
My daughter started up an Internet business with a blog attached. To post a comment, you have to use an account from Facebook, Google, Twitter, etc. I have none of them. I had to create a Google account just to post the one comment. I have so many memberships out there I can't remember all the passwords. Sigh.

Believe it or not, I actually received a handwritten letter the other day. Seeing the paper and pen marks the person made gave it an intimacy that email never has.
Mr Voulez vous: Now that made me laugh
Hugs me: Oh I remember those days.. I had no phone, nothing hahaha
Scanner: Congrats on the EP and I so agree with you.
Dianaani: Now there is a sci fi book ready to be written:)
Cranky: I know those sites and I think that is why I joined FB to start off with..:) Easier access..:)
I hate facebook!

Me likey Caller ID
what happened to greeting each other in person?
great post
I have been using computers for about 2 years. They are the ultimate in communication and the ability to communicate is the primary cause of intelligence.
LOVE, rated with a smile.
Loved it! rated with a smile :)
say, what's larry's headgear this time around?
A few years ago when I willing gave up my blackberry, I reckoned I'd hit my technology wall. No iPads, E-Readers, Kindles or any of that handheld gadgetry, except for a very basic cellphone. But yesterday I was told I'd be getting a new, super-duper blackberry. Resistance is futile.

And Linda, your porn titles reminded me of the double bill gracing one of Times Square's sleazier movie houses way back when: Backside to the Future along with The Hindlick Maneuver.
Miko: I only go on there to check my blog and a few other things.. I agree

Leepin: Catching any good Id"s??:)
Cyril: Or a nice letter:)
Jack: I agree but we are losing personal contact with everyone
I'm a fan of technology...when it's not taken too far. Now they're even talking about no longer teaching kids how to write in school and only how to type. And they think that education is bottoming out now! Really?! I moderation tech can be great! In MODERATION! lol rate!
Paula.. Do you remember the days of High School typing?
Wow.. those typing teachers must be rolling over in their graves.:)
My cell phone is from 2005. It works great. I refuse to replace it. I don't text and I don't want to. It looks like a bar of soap and I don't care. Great post. r
those typing teachers must be rolling over in their graves.:)

My typing teacher circa 1979 had helmet hair that made her look like a cone head. She wore pantsuits that looked like ugly sofa upholstery. She must have been about 93 . She'd loom over us as well as a 4 foot six inch gnome can loom and pronounce "You're peeee-king again, honey!"
If she's rolling in her grave, I never want to visit that cemetary!
PORN? There's PORN online? Oh, my....
If Apple is the devil, then the Catholic Church is in an embarrassing position: it offers a confession app from (I think) iTunes for $2.99. Seeking to be shriven? There's an app for that.
Hilarious! it can all be a bit intimidating, can't it?
Maureen: I have a tracfone. It just calls.. 4 years. I don;t text either hahah

Shiral: LOL you havea to be the funniest person around

BrianB: LOL what was your first clue.. hugggggggg
Jerry: If you develop an app your life is made as some of these youngsters know. An app to God??:)