Last week the police had to be called to interrupt a fight between two young men over an available iPad2 in Beijing China. Of course the Apple staff could not be reached for comment as they were too busy taking pictures of the incident on their iPhones. Malachi Urbini, an Art Institute of Pittsburgh student, was killed Sunday after he tried to trade his IPad and his IPod for heroin. What has this world come to? To heck with the gluttony and wrath from the Seven Deadly Sins; we now have brand new ones.
The Personal Computer
It started out innocently and it initially was costing me a fortune in monthly internet fees. There really wasn’t much out there on dial up when I started except BBS boards. We were content to have the best flame wars ever known to man on a brown screen with yellow text.
My sons progressed down the cyber road like college graduates and pretty soon I was in charge of a Grade 3 class that did their book reports on the library computers. I just smiled and had no idea what cut and paste was until six months later when the next one was due. I was finally cutting and pasting with the best of those eight year olds. The teacher walked by and put a gold star on my hand pleased that I had finally come up to an elementary school status in the cyber world.
I never thought I would see the day where you could walk, talk and ignore life on a phone that could go out of the range of an antenna on a telephone base. What kind of miracle of life is this? I am still impressed with the LED lights on a calculator so how was I ever going to figure out apps, buttons and all things that are not friendly to Linda. Ebay sent me a pair of earphones when they bought Skype and I only use them to listen to music on my laptop. When someone calls me on Skype I tell them to call back on a real phone since Skype is like listening to someone speaking in a tin can.
Big Screen TV
A nowgoes out on a mission to find the biggest TV he can. The bigger the TV the bigger the balls he can throw around to entice the ladies or his friends. The proof is in the following Craigslist ad.
"I just want you to know I will date a woman between 3ft and 7ft tall as long as they are proportioned properly. Second you don’t have to make $150,000 a year! If you didn’t apply yourself last year and only made $149,000 in coin go ahead and contact me. I might be able to overlook that. The house is nicely furnished and I have a full blown home theater and big screen so the action feels like you're there.
Maybe a beer or two, BIG SCREEN TV and maybe even get off to some porn!” (unedited)
Things have come a long way since the 35 mm black and white films shown in college days. Now your next door neighour might have a production company in his basement and you would never know it.
Do it yourself films are filling cyber space with titles like:
I’ve got Wood
Driving Miss Daisy Crazy
On Golden Blonde
Terms of Endowment
What happened to the day you could go shopping for music and enjoy it? Headline News recently reported that a Memphis woman was charged with murder after she bludgeoned her boyfriend to death with her 60GH iPod Photo. It was later found out that the story could possibly have some "iHoles" in it.
I fondly call this little number a glorified Etch a Sketch. I have been told there is some difficulty doing things but movies are great to watch on it. Steve just emailed me (from his phone!) to say he could not email me on his iPad2.
They are very hard to find and Craigslist has some available for 800 to 900 dollars. You can find them between the listings for a Sharper Image Massage chair and a Heartway Rhumba mobility scooter. Clever people know where they can get more bang for their buck in the classifieds. You most certainly are not going to get it with an iPad. That is what you use your laptop for.
The thing I do not understand about Facebook is the “it’s complicated” button. What does that exactly mean? Or how about the over 200 photos of the newest pet that people upload? Facebook is also the leading offender that is driving up the divorce rate. When and where will it end?
Never!Google has just announced that their phone and tablet is going to have an app to double as the ultimate TV remote control. Who in the family is going to control this phone? Is this going to become the next deadly sin of us all after deaths have occured in attempting to change the channel?
Interestingly my spell check recognized none of these brands that I typed in as deadly sins and I asked myself.
Is Apple really the devil?
Text and Images: Linda Seccaspina
Dedicated to Catherine Forsythe who is probably shaking her head right now. :)
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