Once upon a time in 1914 the San Francisco Armory was built with the intention of serving the population of the city. It offered swimming and sporting events such as prizefighting and served as a stronghold for one and all.

The building became known in later years as a cursed "herd of white elephants" and the front steps of the main entrance have also become a well known skateboarding location referred to as "3-Up 3-Down".

But this is not what you came to see and hear right?

You must have come to see the staff room with actresses in flat comfy shoes and plain clothing playing air hockey between films. You will also note that the fridge must be cleaned every Friday night.

I bet you came to see all the the "Workers Comp" stuff in the staff room. There was not one notice that someone had been hurt. You are told that everyone has safe sex and are paid well and want to work there.

You even hear that after the films they have group "snuggles".

Then suddenly you hear a piercing male voice erupt through the crowd.

"Can you show me where George Lucas filmed Star Wars?

This is the wrestling room, where unlike some reality shows  feature real live competitive nude female wrestling in kinky situations. I bet The Housewives of New Jersey could show them a thing or two without the kinky situations.

This is our hostess Mistress Rachael Gray, who is explaining to us why the flooring is made out of squishy material. Seems that there is a lot of knee work being done without the prayers.

She also adds that people have had sex on every ring screwed into the walls throughout the building. Linda comes home and searches her former cardboard factory building and sighs with relief when she finds no rings on the wall.

Shadows of things that maybe you do not care to know about.

Mistress Gray explains to us that the place is constantly cleaned and cleaned again. This is why I can only smell a mixture of bleach, lubricant and a few added drops of love oils in the air.  The scent does not leave my nose for hours.

A Headache reliever- that is all I will say. She explains once more about the floors and how they care about people getting rugburns.

Do you find this offensive in this scenario?

Or  how about this?

Both pictures might require all of the above sundries.

Stephenie Meyers from the Twilight book series never had this in mind. HBO's True Blood might have though!

This is what happpened to "#5" after his Short Circuit film career. He ended up in the dark cold  basement next to a few metal things I am sure you do not want to know about.

The bowels of the  building where no enema kits are needed.

This is Mission Creek that runs under the building.

What are you all shocked about? I sold these as fashion accessories in the 70's.  Props my ass!

In the 1960's I fell in love with a book called "The Story Of O". We are about to see this book realized in real life. Walk with me up the too many stairs to get to the top to "The Upper Floor" as it is called. Believe me it really is the upper floor!

Now we are talking! Bottoms up!

Nothing but elegance from the past!

There are ghosts in the building. Are they ghosts of soldiers or old porn stars?

The book "The Story of O"  by Pauline Reage is now reality.

Nothing anal retentive about this! The past is brought to the present with participation, cameras and a live feed named "Margaret".

I smile and tell "Miss thigh high expensive boots with 7 inch heels" that I could not work in this establishment. She says she understands and I tell her it is not about the pain. It is simply the fact that my feet can no longer afford or are able to walk in the footwear.

I watch as she runs, yes RUNS across the street with those boots on without breaking a stride or a heel and shake my head.

I am exhausted and realize my knee kneeling days are over as the old torn cartilidge in my right knee is throbbing.

It was definitely the pain.

Yes it was the pain of climbing those 108  stairs!

All kidding aside, it was the most fun I had in a long time!

Images and text: Linda Seccaspina 2011

Dedicated to my friend Denis Robinson

http://www.sfarmory.com/

                                             Poetry Reading- Zanelle