Linda Seccaspina

The Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee

Linda Seccaspina

Linda Seccaspina
July 24
Formerly called The Maiden of Death by Derek Raymaker Xpress Magazine
When you wish upon a star
Linda's column can now be read in The Humm newspaper and online. Also pick up an issue of Screamin Mamas magazine from Florida for a peak at some of my writing.>> My idol is former mentor and OPRAH senior associate producer Elizabeth Coady. Taskmaster extraordinaire but learned so much from her, and if I could be 1/8 as talented as her I 'd be laughing.>>>>> My books "Menopausal Woman From the Corn" "Cowansville High Misremembered" "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities" and "Cancer Calls Collect" now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle >>>>>>>All covers also done by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Cowansville High School Misremembered" book is now out as a fundraiser for the school._______________________ ___________________ Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee. Linda Seccaspina was born in Cowansville Quebec about the same time the wheel was invented. _____________________________________ She used to own clothing stores in Ottawa and Toronto Ontario Canada from 1974-1996 called Flash Cadilac, Savannah Devilles, Nightmares and Flaming Groovies. _____________________________________ Her brain tries to writes stories about her menopausal life and a host of other things she gets annoyed at. _____________________________________ She has two sons, Schuyleur and one that does not want his name mentioned. She has a grandson called Romeo who is a Boston Terrier and a grandaughter Bella who is a french bulldog. _____________________________________ Linda loves people quite plain and simple and loves to hug.. Yes, she is one of "those".


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Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 12, 2010 10:50AM

Horses with No Names - They Called her Lola

Rate: 51 Flag

     emily     This is the sixth in a series about the strangers that I meet in my life. It may be for only seconds, or it may be days - I will never ever forget them.




boa Fifteen years ago on a shuttle bus from LAX to a hotel in Burbank I met a woman I will call Lola. One might call her a real piece of work, but I thought she was something else. She was one of those women that would do anything to crawl to the top and she had. 


We were both going to the same Heavy Metal music convention; she to cruise rock stars, myself to do radio interview remotes. I have no idea why she decided to stick to me like glue, but she did. During the bus ride to the hotel she rattled off top rock star names that she had slept with like it was a grocery list. I really had nothing to offer in that vein of conversation except for being friends with a few bands.

She was currently dating a gorgeous guy who was the opening act of a very popular singer. Let's call that singer Larry Fanilow. She told me endless stories of how she loved him and how much he adored her. In fact they had just recently gotten engaged. In between the conversation she provided filler stories of an affair with a very married New Jersey rock star and making mental notes to exchange a purse given to her by a TV personality. Let's call him Harley Spleen.

We had a blast that weekend and I just followed her around watching her work her magic. To tell you the truth it was almost like being in a reality show.

I finally met the
fiancé and he told me stories about the singer he opened for. There were tales of how the first five rows of patrons were informed they were not allowed to go to the bathroom while the performance was on. If they did it might throw Larry’s singing off. Personally I thought her fiancé was a jerk and when she asked me if I liked him I just did not know what to say.

During the four day stay we rented a car and split the cost from Dollar Car Rental. It had been fun to drive around, see the sights and have a field trip to Trashy Lingerie. She told me that her fiancé had to rent a car from there often because he could not afford to buy one.

Of course Lola was upset he was going on tour soon, because she said she did not trust him. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.


Monday came soon enough and we dropped the car off at the rental place. We made sure we had left nothing in the back seat and upon gathering some belongings I found a roll of film in the crack of the back seat of the car. I started to laugh and asked her if it was hers. She shook her head and I said,

"Fine, I will take it and get it developed. I bet it might have some porn shots or something."

I literally said this as a joke.

Two weeks later I found the film at the bottom of my purse and decided I might as well develop it as I was curious. A few days later I picked up the pictures and started to look at them.

To my shock and amazement I saw shots of Larry with his back up singers and the rest of the film contained pictures of Lola's fiancé with a variety of women. These were no touristy shots either. This was a real "hot damn" selection of pictures.

I called her long distance and told her what I had seen. I heard total silence and then five words were screamed at full volume.

"Express them to me tomorrow!"

So I did. Seems that the fiancé had rented that very same car the week before and Dollar Car rental wasn’t
called Dollar Car Rental for nothing. They had shirked their cleaning duties and missed the roll of film in the back seat.

Last I heard from Lola, the fiancé had been dumped and she was working on another rock star. This was most certainly a stranger in my life that I would never ever forget, or Dollar Car Rental.


  Image and Text- Linda Seccaspina 2010


"Horses with No Names Series"

Number 5 The Strange Tail that came at Dusk

Number4  The Time Traveler

Number 3  One less Father

Number 2 The Flea Market Professor

Number 1  The Teacup Man

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Your avatar is giving me a certain rather uncomfortable 'stiffness.'

Ok, I'll read now :o)
Ray and Dave Davies literally despise each other...

Ok, off to read... promise
Trig I changed it to go with the story hahaha
I take it she is really a woman.
Great experience, great story!
LOL no not really.. but she was very unique
Okay this is the deal about the pictures. For years I have controlled pictures of myself. I hate cameras . So seeing time is closing down on me I am having fun taking self portraits. This way the kids will have LOTS to choose from for my Obituary.
Kids.. if you read this Mum is kind of partial to the feather boa one..:)
Wow!!! My dog Lola's sitter says Lola stands for Lots of Love Always. Im beginning to think she's right!!
Ho hum. Another day in the life of the mythical kings and the iguanas who chase after them......

I have heard this story a few times and believe me there is a LOT more to it. I do not think Open Salon would care for it. :)
Obituary? Don't say that.
Antoinette.. this woman was a whole lot of love

Skypixie.. A LOT of mythical kings... geeeeeeeeeeezz and she was one heck of an iguana.

Rugrat.. which part.. Blackie Lawless or Brett Michaels? Or............................................
Love this song, love this post. Comedy with adventure, how much more could you ask for. Oh, and X-Rated pics for sure~~
Scanner.. they were younger than ahhhh.. hmmm.
oh well nothing I have.:)

Veronica.. I have so many tales, you have NO idea hahah
ms linda ... "Calling the kettle black" - there has to be a story behind
that phrase ... anyway, cheaters are generally more suspicious and
paranoid about their mate's behaviors than non-cheaters ... rated ...
Lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-la! Neat story. And I share Trig's discomfort... ;-|
Here's that x rated pic of a horse with another name you asked for~~

film rights to your life story.....

i like your hat pic best.
Lew.. she was her own walking reality show..
Matt.. I wanted to use another Lola song butttttttt it was too close to the Larry name hahaha
XJS.. I think I am afraid to open it hahah
Cyril. LOL I just am into picture taking now for the finality of it all
Funny story. I like that gnome.
What a colorful story. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Rated!
Larry Fanilow? Harley Spleen? Can you give me a better clue?
And there's married rock stars in New Jersey? Where have I been?
Heh heh.
1. I have been totally enjoying the pictures. I didn't know you were taking them now, you look fabulous my friend!

2. Great story, you have the ability to mesh with people, enjoy them and still keep your own identity. That is a feat in itself!

3. Your humanity and creativeness allow you to experience people on a level that some never achieve.

Thanks for sharing all this with us, especially in this series, you are taking the reader on many journeys that most would not have the opportunity or idea of how to achieve. FANTASTICO!!!!

I am a LINDA FAN>>>>>>R
Your life reads like a very bizarre fairy tale, Linda. Oh, and Harley Spleen probably won't be buying any "gifts" for Lola or anybody else for a while.

I wanna' hear the details left out!
rugrat alluded they exist-- really??
Funny and a strange one, Linda...I remember those days of meeting a friend/stranger and then you're together non-stop're not : )
I love your stories about the people you meet!
Seems like karma all over the place. You do meet the most fascinating people and I love the way you write about them.
rated with love
I speak for myself, but women of a certain age, NEED to control the camera. Lol! Sounds like you have some of the men's 'attention' !!! naughty girl you..I love the avatar too! Yes, I too, get 'that' type of attention, but I am getting hit on by... Monrovia, no less! LOL! (One anyway.) I have been ignoring, feeling that is the best way to handle that.HA! Loved this song ever since it came out and adore your story..such adventures are priceless.
Very entertaining read. I liked it very much. Thanks for sharing.
Best Wishes,
Kate my friend.. let;s write the script..:)

Susan.. Cyril will be featured next week in a q and a

mamakaze thank you.. I like telling stories..:) I have so many to tell though hahaha

Cranky.. New Jersey? yeahhhhhhhhh he is still going down in a 'blaze of glory" I hear hahahah

Jonathan.. thanks so much as always
Love all the photo but like the one with you wearing glasses and typing's you...just juxtapose the boa! Adore these stories and the characters you meet along the way. The New Jersey rock star ...Bad Sadly by any chance??
Sheila.. calm down girl hahahaha I just love all you on here I hope you know that.
It's like I can just keep on talking and never shut up and you have NO choice hahahaha . That is a great feature hahaha.
I take them because I can control them hahaha

Lezlie.. NO he will not be buying things for a while hahaha
Just thinking.. I just stood there for four days watching this girl attract all the rock stars like honey bees. The best thing was being behind LEMMY in short shorts on an escualtor hahaha

Anna.. thank you and big hugs to you

Poetess no matter how sleezy and yucky they are I can find some good in them.. somewhere hahaha

Cindy.. yes!!! we must.. when I found out I could do that I freaked in joy..:) Monrovia?? do tell..:)

Blittie.. love you..
marsha.. it was Lon Bon Hovi.. Figure that out hahaha
I love your stories. Wish I had so much subject matter. -R-
It's lucky she didn't have a black light. If she thought the film was damaging, imagine what evidence she might have discovered on the backseat.....
Nice, but where's the rest of the story? It is not fair that only Rugrat gets to know- maybe a midnight update? Great story, there's a lot of Lolas out there, and no, I have no experience with them.
Yserba.. If I told you you wouldn't believe it. I told Just Thinking hahaha
I just stood around and watched
Dumb, de dumb dumb. What a goof. Deserved all he got.

Really liking this series, Linda. You have a good eye and ear for what makes a story work.
Cameras and diaries can be deadly. Fun post and excellent video.
Ahh what a great post.. good humor is so nice to read
Rated my dear Linda
Love to you
Boanerges... what an idiot this guy was.. sending huge hugs

Fay.. Cameras can be deadly??? Okay mine is going to break soon hahah

Mauricio... hugggggggggggg so glad to see you
I just love these stories of yours Linda
Amazing coincidence -- and double amazing that Lola gave you a working contact number. Congrats on keeping your cool!
Triology.. you forget things through the years. BUT I have always wanted to tell this story. It was one for the books as they say..:)

Brian.. Love the Kinks..

Geezer... We spent 4 fun filled days. I watched and remembered and laughed my head off..:)
Just make doggone sure that you never let Tink see that graphic of The Horse With No Name...

The minute he sees that, we'll be up to our butts in discarded Nigerian Princesses.....
Skypixie.. that horse logo was done by a good friend of mine . I am actually going to do a piece on it next week. He is an amazing artist.

Yeah. As an old song goes,

"The Old Grey Mare She Ain't What She Used To Be"
skypixie.. believe me I know hahaha. I am the first to admit it
Great! More tales, please. More rock and roll tales.
And I thought I'd met the strangest people. Okay, Ozzy, maybe Britney and a few others count, but this series is the big winner. Wow.
Muse.. my life has been through the ins and outs of Rock N roll..
Hmmm.. maybe next foodie post hahahah

Sally.. I am not your Patty Duke style of girl..:) Still not at almost 60.
But now I have trouble seeing and walking hahahaha but I can still bop around with the best of them..Hmmm where;s my bass now?
Just when you think you've heard it all.... Fascinating tale Linda. I can see why this one would stick in your memory. Rated.
It's good to be a rock star. At 16, anyway.
Rita.. I have lots of stories that would make your hair stand on end..:)
Leon.. 16 my ass.. I think I was ahhh..thinking here.. 43 hahah
just got in made supper, now reading this. this is super linda.
thanks for Ray. love the Kinks and this song. guess if your name is Lola or Layla, you've got some literal rockin and rollin' to do ...
You are right Scarlett.. Lola did a lot of layla hahaha
I love these stories and can't even imagine what happened after she got the pictures...Good grief, dollar car rental indeed :)
OK! I'm only at Larry Fanilow and laughing my ass off. Just had to comment. Now back to reading....
A. I love the Kinks and especially Ray Davies voice.(lucky Chrissie Hynde)

B. Your Horse With No Name series is fab, simply fab. Such interesting people you've encountered.

C. Lola is a piece of work. Sounds like she and the fiancee deserved each other.

D. Please sir, may I have some more? ( my best Oliver impression)
Lunchlady.. I love writing this series

Schmoopie.. if i told the whole story you would be on the floor. People did not believe me when I told them. I did not believe it.
Music has been my life.. I am thinking I might write about my short term as a manager for death metal bands hahah
What a great story! What a great story! I don't care. I love dirt like this.
Brassawe.. I have more dirt than you can shovel hahah
we can say we knew you when. =')
Well, you had a strange adventure! You are certainly braver than I. Every time I got near someone like that I'd end up in trouble and they would skip off into the sunset unscathed. Too funny!
I forgot. This new picture of you is the best yet.
What fun, Linda! You have certainly led an interesting life. I have some old film canisters around and wonder what is on them. My husband offered me a professional photo shoot because I hate having my picture taken, too, but I declined. I guess no camera can capture our beauty!
you have such amazing adventures :)
Ha ha ha. What fun!
I once met a woman who had groupied many famous rock stars -- she told me she thought she was sleeping her way to the top, until she no longer "had it" and realized she had slept her way to the bottom. A couple of years later I saw her on a TV talk show, selling her book about the famous rockers who had rocked in her. Guess Lola could sell her stories and, one-up, ILLUSTRATE them with photos!

R for a neat story, well told
Love the faux monikers..laughed out loud! This series suits my fancy. My life is so dull, thank GOd! ;} No matter how we rhymed my former paramours names...they would remain a mystery. Happily, now, they just remain gone. I can't get enough of these, my dear! Bowl upturned...more please! xo rated, though terrific a read! ;}
Janice.. I am not being vain taking these pictures. I am just taking the myself so I can control the ugliness so as not to scare people down the road when I am dead . I just of those horrid Victorian cabinet photos

Maryway.. if you take the picture yourself you can hahaha

Thanks Hermoine..
Cleo.. you sure it wasn't Lola?? :) I should do a story on choosing NOT to be a groupie.

Muse .. bowl upturned??? bad girl hahah
Ha ha ha! Brilliant!
Thanks RJ and Suz.. I love writing them..:)

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And all this time I thought Lola was a guy....

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing it.
You've led such an interesting life! Don't you wish you had a few of those photos now?...Or maybe not.