Linda Seccaspina

The Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee

Linda Seccaspina

Linda Seccaspina
July 24
Formerly called The Maiden of Death by Derek Raymaker Xpress Magazine
When you wish upon a star
Linda's column can now be read in The Humm newspaper and online. Also pick up an issue of Screamin Mamas magazine from Florida for a peak at some of my writing.>> My idol is former mentor and OPRAH senior associate producer Elizabeth Coady. Taskmaster extraordinaire but learned so much from her, and if I could be 1/8 as talented as her I 'd be laughing.>>>>> My books "Menopausal Woman From the Corn" "Cowansville High Misremembered" "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities" and "Cancer Calls Collect" now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle >>>>>>>All covers also done by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Cowansville High School Misremembered" book is now out as a fundraiser for the school._______________________ ___________________ Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee. Linda Seccaspina was born in Cowansville Quebec about the same time the wheel was invented. _____________________________________ She used to own clothing stores in Ottawa and Toronto Ontario Canada from 1974-1996 called Flash Cadilac, Savannah Devilles, Nightmares and Flaming Groovies. _____________________________________ Her brain tries to writes stories about her menopausal life and a host of other things she gets annoyed at. _____________________________________ She has two sons, Schuyleur and one that does not want his name mentioned. She has a grandson called Romeo who is a Boston Terrier and a grandaughter Bella who is a french bulldog. _____________________________________ Linda loves people quite plain and simple and loves to hug.. Yes, she is one of "those".


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OCTOBER 31, 2010 10:46AM

Learning how to Walk through the Time Warp Tunnel

Rate: 45 Flag

       spideran                               spidedrug


  baby  Twyla wore nothing but ordinary clothes and lived a first rate version of a generic life. Sometimes in the darkness of her home she pretended to be what she wanted to be, instead of a poorly rated version of someone else.

She was sick of pleasing others but was afraid to remove her mask. Twyla realized that sometimes you cannot take it off without peeling off  some of your own limitations.

She had been born an original,  not a copy and knew deep down that freedom lies in being you and no one else.

They say that being original is a side of sincerity. So Twyla, being very sincere, scattered cobwebs all around her home to keep out the duplicity that never stopped.



baby1  Days went by and inch by inch she crawled out of her time warp and defined herself.  She painted a Loch Lomond monster and erected it outside her home.

She had no apologies, nor regrets. Twyla wanted people to see with their own eyes and feel with their hearts.  Her neighbours remarked that it took courage to start your own rebellion.





baby2  When she went to work the next day she finally realized that people were clones. Their thoughts were someone else’s opinions and they all looked and acted the same.

Twyla also did not come to work in the same type of clothing that other people wore. They immediately turned their back on her and whispered.

She looked at them straight in the face and told them this is who she was and no one had to like it.             




baby3   Twyla started living her life moment to moment and finally began to enjoy herself.

There was  just one life for her now and that would be her own. Her mother had once told her that when she finally grew up and understood what life was all about she could have her first pair of jet heels.

 She sat on the stairs of her home that no longer had cobwebs and that was different than anyone elses.  She clicked the heels of her black patent shoes that had sat in the cupboard for years and smiled,



                    " She was finally the beginning and the end."




                           Don't lease your life.. own it !


Update : It  has been five hours since I put this post up. I went to the flea market and I waited and I waited. I made lunch and I waited. I am a literary flop, and my mentors tell me,

"Read the Classics Linda to make your writing better!".

So I am..  I put a partial Wilde quote IN BOLD and no one caught on. NO one except Larry. That goes to show you something. Maybe I should go back to Perez Hilton:)

I could not throw eggs at you or any other Halloween trick. I did this and I flopped. Back to the eggs next year.:)


Linda Seccaspina 2010

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I love this so much, Linda. Like Twayla, I am trying to learn to not be a poorly rated version of someone else.
Ahhh, Twayla eats at Rudy's! Yes!!!!
A great post! I love the "TimeWarp" and my kids will forever be permanently embarassed by me that I knew the words and all of the moves! I wanted normalcy for many years, but maturity and wisdom made me realize to be true to myself- and that there is really no such thing as normal! R
Kate.. I think all of us should do it.. I try hard every day hahaha.
Thow were just like my jet heelsI got when I was 13..:)

Reneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .. yes she does and love the veggie chili fries hahaha.. and the Shakin Jessee

Libmomrbn.. ahh heck I brought mine..They loved throwing the toilet paper..:)
Sage advice I think. There are far too many cookie-cutter people out there to be one of them!
omg the bugs again! and great message! r.
Great advise for everyone, every day of the week...wish i could live up to this more.
ms V ... lovely and rated ... you could also have said, "don't leash
your life" ... like a dog tethered on a 12 ft chain, a limited world
... "don't leash" holds no indictment to those who enjoy being leashed
and who are conscenting adults ... lew
ms linda ... i was just at ms V's post and used her name instead of yours ... so sorry, i will accept a slap on the wrist ... lew
Great and fun post!
Great story, great ending and, to top it all off, a video of this old Goth girls all time favorite movie!

P.S. Those moving spiders are creeping me the hell out!!!
The odd thing about jet heel pumps to me is that they do not look attractive sitting on the shelf. But they surely look attractive on women's feet.

The striking coincidence here is that I believe I sold a pair of vintage jet heeled pumps to a lady last night, the first such sale that I have ever made in my life. More about that later.
Yeah, sister, it is sooooo the truth. I'm not different, I'm just not the same as the others. Why are they all trying to be the same? I was born this way, and apparently will go out of the world this way. But in the middle, I will live this way.
excellent writing! "scattered cobwebs all around her home to keep out the constant duplicity. "

my kids went last night for themidnight haloween showing of rocky horror... nothing like a lil traditional time warping.
The pictures really add to this piece. And you've come up with a fine motto at the end
Awesome again!! I think that's Cecil (of beanie and)! Boo Boo says thumbs up!
Life is a banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death! ~Auntie Mame
Scanner.. My cookie cutter broke years ago hahaha

Jonathan... no more bugs it's all over..:)

Rugrat.. You are sweet, but you know that.
Betamale.. nothing wrong with gentle leashing hahah
Just Cathy... you get out there and tell those Giants what way the baseball goes hahahaha
Ahh they had had to throw and token win out hahaha

Safebet.. Cmon and do the Time Warp with me.. This old Goth Girll will never die..

Brassaweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... I need details from the Prophet..:)
Sometimes life choices are daunting.

Well done, Linda!
Oryoki.. I love who you are..
Scarlett.. I knew you were dancing..:)
Lorianneeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. OMG you have kids that old? You should have gone too.

Nicki.. I have become a camera junkie..:)
Hope Boo Boo had fun last night Yserba..:0

Linnnn.. I had forgotten all about this.. Must watch it this week

Catherine.. Love you much... HUGGGGGGGGG
Happy Halloween

wants some candy, little girl?
oooh Brian.. thought you would never ask hahaha
I loved that last line and it says everything one needs to know: "Don't lease your life, own it."
We can take lessons from Twyla and work on becoming whom ever we's a process with hiccoughs along the way. You write about life lessons and I'm taking notes!
Torman.. we all know that when we lease we do not get to keep the car..:)

Marsha.. I always love doing these things.. and the photos.. I am so hooked now..:)
Wooo Hoooo! I have the slogan on a post it on my desk. "You were born an original, don't die a copy!"
Zanelle.. a smarter slogan I have not heard

Xenon.. yeah to you too and thank you
Good advice- and doubly rated for Rocky Horror link...
Being normal is so boring- I hear...
Delicious and thoughtful prose as always. Thanks for being you :)
Ian.. If I ever become boring give me death :)
Bluestocking, thank you I wish I had been at that rally with you

Cyril.. Rudy's is the diner in Emeryville CA called "Rudy's Can't Fai"l
Google it and thou shalt see it is owned by some of the Green Day crew.
Yummiest food ya ever did sink your teeth in..:)
here it is cyril...
This was sooo fun..hated to get here so late..I know I can always have a ball at your house..quite lovely.
I bet I know where you were Cindy and I hope you said a good word for me..:)
A favorite quote:

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
— Oscar Wilde

Lawrence.. I love you..
marry me..
I slipped a partial quote from Wilde in there and put it in bold.
NO one caught on but Larry...
Man this guy is one hell of a genius.
Of course to tell the truth I might not have either.. hahaha
Today's prize goes to Larry
... larry says, as he quotes. funny.
Dianani.. this was a prank gone wrong. I am meant for dog poop on a door stoop.
rated...normal is so overdone and overrated...and now it's even become insipid. Loved this.Happy happy halloween! Glad I didn't miss today's post! xo ;}
YOU HAVE I AM RUDY DOLLS? I HAVE THOSE "I AM RUDY" BUTTONS!!!!!!!!!! They are from the best diner in the world...Rudy's Can't Fail Cafe "serving E'ville since 2002!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay Mike Dirndt._r
I'm sorry. Now I will read your piece carefully.
Excuse me? YOU are the flop because WE didn't get the literary reference? Isn't that backwards? And yay for Lawrence.
Comment #4. I see you had already explained Rudy's Can't Fail Cafe to your readers. I thought for sure I'd won something THIS time.
Muse.. I believe in being different. I also believe in Halloween jokes.
I cannot put dog poop on our door step so I did something that I thought people might catch on too. NOT in my lifetime hahaha.Only Larry.
I now have to drink wine for Tinks blog tomorrow. I cannot so it sober.
Joan H.. who the heck is drinking wine now??? I am serious.. I am going to drink wine to do Tinks Q and A tomorrow.
I can make you a weird doll I swear I can..:)
All aboard the two buck chuck white wine train. Doing a Q anad A with Tink tomorrow and I cannot do this sober hahaha
Well, soooo sorry, but I was busy watching the Packers beat the Jets. Not the most literary of pursuits , but I probly wouldn't have gotten the Wilde quote either. I like the quote, but wouldn't have put it with Wilde, whom I admire the more the older I get but still haven't read enuf of yet. And I didn't know Rudy's either, or what jet heels are. And you think you flopped.
I am so glad veronica..huggggggggggg

Matt.. I am into my second glass of wine now to do the q and a with Tink.. I am going to flop real sooooooooooooon.:)
It is a difficult thing to understand, the ownership of one's life, that is. What you see is what you get, who you are with no regret, brighter, bolder, more beautiful than imagined, you are who you are, no worries, great abandon. No lies to remember, no stories to make, you are your own self, for own self's pure sake. It pleases no one? No one really cares, for their adventure is their own and you are unaware. Yours is yours, theirs is theirs, if the streams cross, the electricity airs. No worries, no fears, we are all so briefly here. Be yourself. Be enjoyed. The world is nothing but a stage, Shakespeare is said to have said. So, get your costume on, beat you to the lights, lets have a party, tonight is the night.... Happy Halloweenie to an artist friend of mine.
sheila.. my costume is me this year.. first year ever...:)
They've started ringing the door bell - goblins and ghosties - no time for long replies, rated with hugs.
It's hard to be an original, even if you are one -- the energy and strength it takes to maintain a sense of self when everyone around you is urging, "comply! comply!" (I think you're an original.)
Fusun.. are they wearing snowsuits??:)

bellwether.. I tried to comply maybe twice.. It lasted ahh five minutes hahaha
Alright Linda! And the Rocky Horror Picture Show Too!!
Thanks. R
I however will not make a jump to the right. Let's do the Time Warp again. Love it. You are a total genius.
bernadine.. well I thought I was being clever but no one got it hahahahah
who is in that avatar picture? oooohhhhhhhhhhhh
You always manage to have a super message wrapped in a great story.
Darn Fay and I tried so hard to play a game.
Couple of times went to midnight RHPShows in Wash., D.C. costumed and wigged out (well I didn't wear the wig, she did) with audience interventions. Crazy stuff.
Hi Linda,
I've been gone for 3 days and trying to catch up on all the reading. Loved the quote about not leasing your life.
Is that the house in Berkely that made out of shells?
I lovedthis. the writing was just wonderful and the message terrific. I think you've really lived this too. Hugs and rated
Thanks Mike!
Inverted I used to love RHP and all the customers that came into my store to buy things. They are so neat!
Janice yeah.. on Mike street.. its is actually a huge house
Antoinette.. you know I live it ever day still. People trying to change you.
I am ready for another trip to Canada.
Do you give lessons in romance blogs.
You seem like a great doctor for ails.
I love Loonenberg Berry Wine too.
I love anyone who is Canadian too.
You give cut and paste instruction?
I have my own noiseless typewriter.
Ya remind me of an actress in pants.
I will bum gas for ride to Bear River.
Bonni or Chris make wonderful brew.
I'd love to smash grapes with feet too.
Blueberry wine is almost a`good mead.
I'll haul a 55- gal jug on my back. Yippee!
I got chores to do. Smash grapes. Beers.
Blueberry beer brew good winter Cheer!
Don't give up, don't give in--give more, Linda. Dig inside.
Totally! I love that house! Sometimes I need to pass for normal in order to get my weird ideas heard.
I enjoyed this post, Twyla learning the secret of life.
rated with love