- December 31
- Thinking about shit and making up shit.
MY RECENT POSTS
- My Mom and the Pope's Penis
November 07, 2013 07:04PM
- Anti Bias Like Me
October 29, 2013 11:45AM
- My Health Plan
September 29, 2013 05:31PM
- I Got Here The Old-Fashioned
Way: I Urned It
September 19, 2013 11:34AM
- Let Us Number Our Minutes
September 12, 2013 05:35PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “What I would give to
have heard the gardeners
September 12, 2013 11:55PM
- “Remains to be seen,
femme. Remains to be
June 14, 2013 12:15AM
- “Diane S-L,
a boy. His parents named him
after Robin Hood.
April 21, 2013 07:53PM
- “I know, right?
April 04, 2013 11:28AM
- “Clearly, grasshoppers,
the readers have risen above
October 15, 2012 11:59AM
Dr. Strangemom's Links
As far as I am concerned, the holiday season pales in excitement compared to the Winter Olympics, but then again, I don't compete in the holidays (see prior posts about my Olympic sock-skating career) so the buildup from Thanksgiving to New Years is denouement to me.
I had… Read full post »
My friend's daughter just got her period.
Now, me, I have sons so I never experienced that momentous event, but I remember when my sister got her period. Our family was in Mexico and it had been a tense trip, what with my sister exuding all sorts of coming-of-age… Read full post »
The closer we get to Thanksgiving, the more detached I feel from the whole thing.
It has nothing to do with the actual Thanksgiving; you know, the food, the family, the fact that someone from outside the family is coming this year, which means that I'm going to have… Read full post »
1. Calories; if you eat the food on an airplane. The higher the altitude, the less the calories. I've done the math. Well, not so much done the math as wished this were true.
2. Keeping the change not owed you if you are shopping in a chain store… Read full post »
Yeah, so Wade and I are cool.
But is that enough, really? Is having a black friend going to give me the edge I need to take my place in today's uber-PC, "fuck convention" world? I wanna be ghetto. And not just Warsaw Ghetto, either, like my friend… Read full post »
Hey, anyone heard from Wade?
I haven't heard from him, which is weird. I'm pretty sure the last thing he said to me at the market the other day was, "yeah, you can use my name, just spell it right." Or maybe I just made that up right… Read full post »
I ran into my African American friend today.
You know Wade? Yeah, he's African American. I have an African American friend. A real one, too, not some African American person I recognize because we go to the same bank or dentist or something. Wade comes to my house and… Read full post »
Do they still have traffic school? Because I probably should go.
I haven't gotten a ticket or anything; it's just that the longer I drive, it is becoming more and more clear that I am pretty much making up my own rules. The other day, for instance, as I… Read full post »
Okay, I'm off to loll about on the couch and watch TV for the rest of my life. I have fulfilled my duties as a mother. See ya next time around, suckas.
I spend a lot of time fretting over all the shit I did wrong with my… Read full post »
So Claudia wrote a list the other day of all the shit her someday future daughter-in-law will notice about her and find hypocritical. Claudia is a playright and an editor, and coming up with this list probably took her the better part of a Friday. It was a… Read full post »
Oh God, I am so full I wanna barf.
No, I take that back; the thought of barfing makes me, well, not want to barf. Whew, good, I'm not bulimic. It's so great to cross shit like that off my list. Not bulemic: check. More therapy time to talk about the… Read full post »
So, yeah. It's cancer. He needs surgery.
That's a normal greeting in Clusterfuckistan. It's hard to one-up someone around here. Playing the "poor me, my husband has cancer" card to this crowd of the homeless, the terminally ill, the hopelessly fucked is completely useless. I know. I've tried.… Read full post »
I miss the Vietnam War.
Well, I miss the protests, I mean.
I miss the anger and the energy I had and also I miss the embroidered Mexican peasant blouses I used to wear to the protests. Man, Protest Couture was rippin' in the 60's. Embroidered… Read full post »
Do we know, exactly, what Anita Hill said back to Ginny?
Man, I wish I could've been on the extension phone, listening in. Or better yet, sitting next to Anita that morning, feeding her kickass shit to say to Ginny, writing it out on cue cards and laughing so… Read full post »
I've been remiss in doing my Kegel exercises, have you noticed?
Each new school year I make a commitment to doing 25 of those pelvic toners at least four times a week. I know that they are very important in keeping everything where it is supposed to be, pelvically… Read full post »
I am in the worst mood today and I took it out on the nice barrista at Starbucks.
Remind me to be nice to him next time I go there. Or at least, remind me to feel bad every time I drive by. Because, as I've always told my… Read full post »
I often scribble ideas for the blog on backs of envelopes and odd scraps of paper. I rarely remember where I put them or even that I have them. Still, I can't stop. I am addicted to lists; making lists is my number three hobby, third only to… Read full post »
I really should have more money than I do. I have no idea where it all went.
When I was in third grade, our entire class opened a bank account. Every Monday we had to bring 50 cents to school in one of those envelopes with the wraparound string… Read full post »
People say it's time I think about getting a new dog.
But what I am thinking about is whether or not I should get one of those Brazilian blowouts for my hair.
One of those things will cost me nothing and the other will take me… Read full post »
I hear that Margaret Cho was kicked off Dancing With The Stars this week. I wouldn't know; I do not watch that show.
If you detected a bit of smug superiority in my last statement, it's because I am totally feeling it. I eschew DWTS; I watch MSNBC. And I… Read full post »
I have issues with Giada. You know, Food Network Giada, the one whose recipes star her cleavage? The cooking show with the soft core porn lighting? The one where you can almost hear the bwam chicka bom bom soundtrack as she sinks her enormous teeth into the eight… Read full post »
Greetings from Clusterfuckistan! Where everything is not only fucked, it's clusterfucked. Where you come home from the worst day of your life and notice that your Maxi-pad has inched its way out of your… Read full post »
Evidently, Bear Grylls drinks his own urine, were you aware?
Now I happen to know for a fact… Read full post »
Uh oh. It's just around the corner.
If you're Jewish, you know what I am talking about.
The Big Day. The day of Atonement. Yom Kippur. Or, as we all used it call it when Jewish life was solely phonetic, Young Kipper. Which was very confusing to me as… Read full post »