Oh God, I am so full I wanna barf.

No, I take that back; the thought of barfing makes me, well, not want to barf. Whew, good, I'm not bulimic. It's so great to cross shit like that off my list. Not bulemic: check. More therapy time to talk about the… Read full post »

So, yeah. It's cancer. He needs surgery.

That's a normal greeting in Clusterfuckistan. It's hard to one-up someone around here. Playing the "poor me, my husband has cancer" card to this crowd of the homeless, the terminally ill, the hopelessly fucked is completely useless. I know. I've tried.… Read full post »

I miss the Vietnam War.

Well, I miss the protests, I mean.

I miss the anger and the energy I had and also I miss the embroidered Mexican peasant blouses I used to wear to the protests. Man, Protest Couture was rippin' in the 60's. Embroidered… Read full post »

Do we know, exactly, what Anita Hill said back to Ginny?

Man, I wish I could've been on the extension phone, listening in. Or better yet, sitting next to Anita that morning, feeding her kickass shit to say to Ginny, writing it out on cue cards and laughing so… Read full post »

I've been remiss in doing my Kegel exercises, have you noticed?

Each new school year I make a commitment to doing 25 of those pelvic toners at least four times a week. I know that they are very important in keeping everything where it is supposed to be, pelvically… Read full post »

I am in the worst mood today and I took it out on the nice barrista at Starbucks.

Remind me to be nice to him next time I go there. Or at least, remind me to feel bad every time I drive by. Because, as I've always told my… Read full post »

I often scribble ideas for the blog on backs of envelopes and odd scraps of paper. I rarely remember where I put them or even that I have them. Still, I can't stop. I am addicted to lists; making lists is my number three hobby, third only to… Read full post »

I really should have more money than I do. I have no idea where it all went.

When I was in third grade, our entire class opened a bank account. Every Monday we had to bring 50 cents to school in one of those envelopes with the wraparound string… Read full post »

I hear that Margaret Cho was kicked off Dancing With The Stars this week. I wouldn't know; I do not watch that show.

If you detected a bit of smug superiority in my last statement, it's because I am totally feeling it. I eschew DWTS; I watch MSNBC. And I… Read full post »

I have issues with Giada. You know, Food Network Giada, the one whose recipes star her cleavage? The cooking show with the soft core porn lighting? The one where you can almost hear the bwam chicka bom bom soundtrack as she sinks her enormous teeth into the eight… Read full post »

Greetings from Clusterfuckistan! Where everything is not only fucked, it's clusterfucked. Where you come home from the worst day of your life and notice that your Maxi-pad has inched its way out of your… Read full post »

09/23/2010

The Plot Thins

Evidently, Bear Grylls drinks his own urine, were you aware?

Now I happen to know for a fact… Read full post »

09/24/2010

Uh oh. It's just around the corner.

If you're Jewish, you know what I am talking about.

The Big Day. The day of Atonement. Yom Kippur. Or, as we all used it call it when Jewish life was solely phonetic, Young Kipper. Which was very confusing to me as… Read full post »

 For most people, the Jewish Holidays are just around the corner when the late summer sun loses its burning heat, the leaves show their first patches of red & orange and, here in Oregon, they throw an umbrella in the car, just in case. That’s for most people. For me, the… Read full post »

strangemom in the city

When the hell are we gonna get this commune going? Am I the only counter-culture hippie left around here to get it together?

All I need is 30 acres. And a handful of yurts. Not the traditional yurts, tho; I want the sort of yurts that have peg and groove… Read full post »

Have you heard The Word?

May I stand at your front door and talk to you for a few minutes about The Word?

Hello? Wait. Come back. Fuck.

You see, I have been to the Promised Land: Sag Harbor.

I have surrendered my body to the smooth -… Read full post »

Well, I'll say this much:

if you have to be awakened by the phone at 9AM on a summer vacation morning when you could have slept much later - and you really needed… Read full post »

Okay, so we are boycotting Target, right? I'm down with that.

I come from a long line of picketers and political activitists, and nothing says "summer" to me like a good boycott. I spent most of my childhood summers sitting with my mom in front of Hughes'… Read full post »

 In the summer of 1998 I r/… Read full post »

I was climbing into bed when the phone rang.  I didn’t rush to get it because even on a good day I hate talking on the phone.  I stand in front of a ringing phone and pass through all the Kubler-Ross stages of/… Read full post »

So I was listening to NPR the other day and I heard something that made me think.

Generally, it's not a good idea for me to listen to something that makes me think while I am driving because it is getting more and more difficult to focus on… Read full post »

I need a couple of volunteers. I have a few theories I want to test.

I have a tendency towards the letters "f" and "s" and "asshole" in conversation and I did not clean up my language when I had kids. Oh, I tried but, honestly, when you… Read full post »