Dr. Matthew Lynch

Dr. Matthew Lynch
Langston, Oklahoma, USA
December 31
Langston University
As a professor of education, I am, first and foremost, committed to developing outstanding K-12 teachers. That’s because I believe that highly qualified and passionate educators are the best instruments to improve education in K-12 settings. I am the Chairman of the Department of Elementary/Special Education and an Associate Professor of Education at Langston University, and I spent seven years as a K-12 teacher – an experience that gave me an intimate view of the challenges facing genuine education reform. Before assuming my position at Langston, I spent three years as an Assistant Professor of Education and Director of Secondary and Social Studies Programs at Widener University. With that experience behind me, I’ve focused the second stage of my career on researching topics related to education reform, the achievement gap, and teacher education. What I’ve found is that improving teacher education is an essential component in closing the achievement gap. My articles and op eds appear regularly in the Huffington Post, Diverse: Issues in Higher Education, Education Week, and Education World. I’ve also written numerous peer- reviewed articles, which have appeared in academic journals such as AASA Journal of Scholarship & Practice, International Journal of Progressive Education, Academic Leadership Journal, and others. In addition, I’ve authored and edited a number of books on school reform and school leadership. Please visit my website at www.drmattlynch.com for more information.


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DECEMBER 8, 2011 5:42PM

The 10 Types of Friends Who Will Ruin Your Relationships Part II

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In part I, we established that one of the avoidable hindrances to your relationships may be the company you keep. Also, we also unveiled the first 5 types of friends who can potentially ruin your relationships. Without further ado, here are the final 5 types of friends.

The Jealous Friend

The jealous friend shows signs of envy towards you directly, subliminally, or behind your back. This person may not even like you. In public, they wish you much success and luck in your new relationship. They may even be overly supportive to mask their jealousy. The jealous friend will always find fault in your mate. This person shouldn't even be considered a friend at all. Everybody has at least one of these in their circle. Taking their advice will be detrimental to your relationship. Remember, this type of friend does not want to see you happy.

The Miserable Friend

Have you heard the saying, "misery loves company"? Well, this applies to the miserable friend. This person is unhappy so they want you to be unhappy as well. They want you to feel as miserable as they feel. This person doesn't want you to be happy in your relationship. Their advice is filled with assumptions and baggage from previous relationships. This type of friend will do whatever it takes to make you miserable. Steer clear from the miserable friend and be sure not trust their advice. If you do, you will end up unhappy, lonely, and miserable, which means they have accomplished their mission.

The Marriage/Baby Crazed Friend

Your friend has just gotten married or become a parent and that's all they talk about. This person thinks that getting married or having a child can fix everything. This person constantly says, "So when are you and your partner going to get married and have a child? Parenthood is so great. You two would make wonderful parents." This could potentially scare off your mate. You and your mate may or may not be planning on getting married or having a child. Remember, if you start buying into your friend's rhetoric and pressuring your mate into getting married or starting a family, you can cause a strain on your relationship. There's nothing wrong with being excited about getting married or having children, but having a marriage or baby crazed friend around could push your mate away. Keep that in mind when dealing with this kind of friend.

The Party Animal Friend

This person is always pressuring you to go out clubbing. In fact, this is their answer for everything. Going out is a great way to take your mind off of your relationship troubles. If you are constantly using nightclub therapy, this can cause problems in your relationship as well. The party animal means well and thinks that fun solves every problem. However, it doesn't always fix the issue. Use your discretion when dealing with the party animal friend. Excessive partying leads to relationship problems such as trust issues, and so on. Ultimately, this will lead to the demise of your relationship with your mate.

The Mates' Relative/Your Friend

The last type of friend that will ruin your relationship is your mate's relative. This includes being friends with your mate's brother, sister, cousin, uncle, or any other relative. They've grown up with your current mate and "know" everything about them. Believe it or not, even their advice can be tainted. They may tell you negative things about your mate because they have a crush on you. Or they may be telling you for your own good. You never know. It's hard to decide whether or not to take their advice. You have to play it by ear. Take heed but don't be quick to put their suggestions into action. Their advice is very tempting because this is someone who shared a crib with your mate. Just like the other kinds of friends, they may have a hidden agenda as well. You will have to be really cautious with this type of friend.

Our friends mean well and want to see us happy. We also have friends that don't want to see our relationship succeed. Sometimes taking their advice isn't a good idea, and their suggestions may cause more harm than good. You have to use your judgment when deciding whose advice to take. Also remember that while anyone can give advice, not everyone is qualified to give good and helpful advice. People have hidden agendas and ulterior motives. I have been through many relationships and fallen victim to bad advice from friends. I'm sure they meant well, but their advice was based on mere bias, jealousy, etc. These aren't the only types of friends that can ruin relationships. I'm sure you can think of many others from your own experiences. Consider these suggestions when deciding whether or not to take relationship advice from your friends.

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