Top 10 April Fools Headlines
10. President Obama announces his offical switch to the Republican Party. "It's about time he came out of the closet," say party officals. The president then joined the NRA and left on vacation.
9. Sara Palin immedialy joins the Democratic Party, stating "Whatever he does is wrong...and I want to be right!"
8. Pope disbands Catholic church saying "We made it all up...sorry folks."
7. Catholic Priests finding new work in underground film industry.
6. DNC chairman announces party name change to "Tea Party" - Fox News reporters seen jumping from rooftops.
5. Rush kills 14 people in deadly fall.
4. BP announces it's "giving up oil to focus on solar and wind."
3. U.S. to Annex Lybia, Gas expected to drop to 3 cents a gallon.
2. DADT dropped in favor of manadtory homosexuality. "If you're not gay, get out!" says Def Secretary.
1. Radical Islamic Terrorist groups announce cease fire in light of their homophobia.
(And a few that didn't make it.)
Congress adopts new Weapons Ban that makes it illegal for citizens to own "Anything that could be used as a weapon." Most in favor, but miss chairs.
Nerf stock hits record high.
President Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize.
"Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta" to replace national anthem.
Scott Walker abdicates in light of protesters in Eagle River, WI. "Well, I heard a friend say they wanted me out...so...you know...will of the people and all that." was all he said. The five people standing on a corner in Eagle River with anti-Scott Walker signs were flabbergasted but overjoyed.
Budget Crisis Solved! Death Panels hold the key, say officals.
Constitution is Alive! Scientists announce the original paper has been taken over by a bacteria. "See it really IS a living document," exclaimed Tea Party leaders.
North Korea signs peace agreement to swap nuclear stockpiles for the Ipad 2.
Ronald Regan declared shitty president by everyone.
(Sorry for the quick post folks...I know it's low production but I'm being held hostage by people who want me to work.)
Happy April Fools Day! I'll be back with a real post some time in the future...after my escape.