Dorinda D.

Dorinda D.
Orlando, Florida, United States
May 20
I teach writing at several universities. My two daughters are seven and 18. I adore my children, have trouble raising them, and you will read more about them than you care to. I am a professional cancer survivor. There is a lot more that I don't know than I do know.


Dorinda D.'s Links
APRIL 12, 2012 7:39PM

I Won't Vote for Romney But His Wife Works

Rate: 6 Flag

A facebook/OS friend was joining the Hilary Rosen discussion about whether Ann Romney ever worked and if motherhood is a career choice.  I was not aware of the controversy and just thought that my friend had lost her mind when she asked if mothers work.

 This question is akin to those who don’t teach wondering how in the world a teacher works 60 hours a week when they only see them in the classroom three hours a week. It is work one can’t comprehend unless one has done the work.

If work is defined as what one is paid to do then I am technically paid
to take care of my younger daughter through child support. This is work
I do in addition to working as a teacher 60 hours a week and work I had
to do by myself for three years when seriously ill and went to the
hospital to see doctors, have tests, or have operations over 200 times.  I am not familiar with Mrs. Romney's health history but vaguely remember she faces serious health issues.

This is what I do for eight-year-old  daughter the 20 days a month she is in my care. I am legally required to do so or I could be declared unfit.  My divorce was difficult and I have to do these tasks or ensure they are done.

1. Food.
  Either I or someone I pay to procures food, makes it, serves it and
cleans up after my young daughter at least three times a day. This is usually more than three times a day because young children and particularly teenage children are eating machines.
2. Transport
  I drive my young daughter to school, social activities, and her father’s house. I have to know where she is at all times, how she got there, how she is getting back home, and who to contact should I need to find her. I have
to be available at all times to whomever other than me has her at any
3. Clothing
  I have to buy, maintain, and store proper clothing that meets school
district and her father’s standards. I have to make sure her shoes are
the correct size and the sizes can change frequently.
4. Health
  I have to make appointments coordinated with her father’s schedule
for appointments at the doctor, dentist, orthodontist, and hearing
specialist. If I do not buy and maintain insurance for what this costs
I must pay 50% of all expenses incurred.
5. Housing
  I have to provide her with a bedroom, bathroom, reasonable amenities
and make sure the house is reasonably clean at all times.
6. Education
  I have to supervise homework, attend conferences, and attend meetings
with her reading, speech, music/art teachers as well as with her
primary teacher. I am expected to have an interest in PTA meeting and
after school activities and this is an area I am too busy with work to focus on.
7. Sleep
  I take her to the pool every night, make sure she has a bath every
night, read her a story, and hold her for an hour before she goes to

  Items 1 through 7 can take from 4 to 6 hours. I work 10 to 12 hours a
day teaching. I have 6 to 8 hours to sleep or do other things for
myself. I have her 20 days a month for which this schedule applies.
Her father has her 10 days a month for which this schedule likely
applies at his home.

  I also have an older daughter in college for whom I no longer legally
have to do anything. I still do. I have shopped and paid for over $4000
worth of bedding, housing supplies, electronics etc. for her dorm room
this year alone. I have shopped and paid for clothing for sorority
socials etc. I offer social advice in the middle of the night. I have been
called to drive to her college three times this semester to assist for various emergencies.

I provide a safe and clean home for my older daughter and her friends to stay when they are in Orlando. I move her belongings from one place to another. I arrange and pay for her vacations.

Does that sound like work to you?

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I never claimed that mothers do not work, nor that Ann Romney did not work while raising her five kids. Far from it. My argument was that her five kids were all grown and gone now, so it's not like she can claim she's up to her elbows in dirty diapers.

1.) You work outside the home in addition to parental responsibilities, 2.) you have one child at home still and one that has just begun to leave the nest, and 3.) the things you describe doing for your daughters are the kinds of things that are part and parcel of having kids, regardless of whether or not you work outside the home. Do you honestly think that in ten or fifteen years time, mothering your children is going to be as time-consuming and labor-intensive as it is now?
Hi Leeandra I know you did not claim that and noted it sentence one. Just having kids is work.
This needs to go viral.

The Dem Professional Politician Mouthpice made a huge and ignorant mistake that set our recent gains back 1000 yards, much to Romney's delight. She needs to be fired, and fast.
Of course mothers work raising children. The Romney kerfuffle is over her being touted by husband as the go-to person to find out what women voters want. Most women do not have husbands who are extremely rich and therefore have a choice to do only mommy-work, while most women have to do mommy-work AND money-work. Ann Romney doesn't have any experience in or ideas about how 99% of women live. And the commentator who said Ann had never worked a day in her life clearly was referring to money-work, which most women have to do. Too bad Rosen didn't use the word "employment" so as not to give the faux-outraged an opening.
Joan Walsh did a good column on the matter -
Myriad: another Canadian weighing in on U.S. politics. Endlessly and blah blah blah. Ann Romney is a Grandmother now, does she really have to go to work to prove something to a democratic operative? Even the Obama Whitehouse admits that was a stupid remark of Hilary Rosen. There are plenty of Democratic wives who have never worked starting with Jacqueline Kennedy all the way up to John Kerry's wife. Ann Romney has lived a life above reproach raising 5 sons to successful adulthood, battling breast cancer and M.S.: attacking her for having no real life experience is juvenile and pathetic. As Dorinda rightly points out, nobody knows the economy like a mother going to the grocery store and the soccer field. rated.
Deborah - We Canadians are deeply affected by whoever the Americans elect -- the whole world is affected. So we follow and comment. Obama finked on this one - he didn't recognize the injustice towards poor AR but rather issued a political cover-my-ass statement. AR doesn't have to go to work to prove anything to anybody...unless she wants to purport to understand women who have to work for a living. Even if she went to work, it wouldn't put her in the position of those women who HAVE to work. Since she's not had the experience of the majority of women, and doesn't have the graciousness to say so, she's a legit target when she's held up as an advisor on women's issues for her husband (who evidently views women as something alien he couldn't possibly understand himself).

What other First Wives did or didn't do is beside the point - they were not out campaigning claiming to know What Women Want. AR has lived a life of no reproach, sure, raising sons, battling illnesses - but she did it with lotsa money behind her and no need to go out and make a living. This removes her from the situation of most women. Her life is beyond reproach, BUT HER PUBLIC OPINIONATING IS NOT.

"attacking her for having no real life experience is juvenile and pathetic. As Dorinda rightly points out, nobody knows the economy like a mother going to the grocery store and the soccer field."

She's being 'attacked' for presuming to speak for women whose situation she has no experience of. She has her own real life experience, but it does not qualify her to talk about women who have to work for pay as well as raise their children (and struggle with their own health issues). And who knows better than a woman who works for wages who is also a mother to know the economy. AR does not. Someone with multi-thousand dollar therapy horses and car elevators does not.

There are people like you, evidently, who try to make the case that poor AR is being attacked out of the blue. Not so. It's because she is campaigning for her husband, and he touts her as his source for info about What Women Want. If she puts herself out there as some kind of spokesperson, then she's a legitimate target for counter argument.
Yes, motherhood is definitely work.

It just gets much, much harder for women who also hold down a full time job outside the home.

And/or who are the sole breadwinners for their families.

There are probably women who would have preferred to stay home to be full-time mothers, but had no choice but to go earn a living.

I don't get all this flack Hillary Rosen is catching for her comment. Sure, she could have ben more articulate, but the essence was spot on: Ann Romney has no experience that speaks to the average woman's economic concerns. If Ann's having trouble paying the bills, she and Mitt can sell on of their 5 houses. Her work load will decrease. If the average woman is having trouble paying bills, she may take a(nother) job and her work load will vastly increase.

Bi-i-i-g difference.
Motherhood is definitely work. I respect my wife a ton for working and managing everything
3. Clothing
I have to buy, maintain, and store proper clothing that meets school
district and her father’s standards. I have to make sure her shoes are
the correct size and the sizes can change frequently. hmmmm...