APRIL 8, 2012 8:35AM

I Am As Gay...

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I am as gay 

as others are straight.

I was gay long before

I knew it had a word.

 

When I was five

I knew who I was

and only later recognized

that others were not the same.

 

I learned early

how, if not to pretend,

at least to avoid.

I learned also that I 

was alone within my

own family.

Although they knew,

it was a secret we kept 

from each other.

 

I was 17 when I found,

in a darkened theater,

that there were others 

like me—not just others

to whom sex was merely a game

my male schoolmates played

with me as they danced

to the tune of their hormones.

To them it was a game:

to me it was a life.

 

I have traveled distances

those coming out today

cannot imagine,

as I cannot imagine how

it must be for them 

in a world more accepting

but far more deadly.

 

Yet not for one single second

of one single moment of my life

have I doubted who I was

or that I had the right to be

who I am.

 

     --Dorien Grey 

 

 

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Comments

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I just read an article about the 5 things one regrets when dying. One was not honoring their true selves, living their lives for others. I'm so glad you know who you are. It takes great strength for those of us who are labeled different. I believe the rest are just hiding trying so hard to be a "normal". I enjoy my eccentricities and I will die happy that I lived my life being true to myself.
D we have so much in common. I too knew I was different at an early age and have lived proudly so. Self preservation is an important idea one learns early on or(and as your poem states)not. I'm glad you are here!
Oh I finished... THE BUTCHER SON. Excellent read. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem...and for sharing the confidence that you've always had, which many people don't ever find, that you have the right to be who you are.
Beautiful. I especially liked your lines about knowing who you are but having to learn that others are not the same. How true, sad and true.

I too wonder about today's violence. There is indeed a strange acceptance of the gay world, but it only seems to escalate the hatred in people who may not have realized before the extent of our population. I pray thanks every day that I never had to face bullying as a child/teen.
"Yet not for one single second
of one single moment of my life
have I doubted who I was
or that I had the right to be
who I am."
you are a lucky, brave man
Thank you for knowing who you are and honoring it. It gives me courage to be who I am and not back down.
This is beautiful. I am so happy you have always had the courage to be who you are. I am glad to have "met" you. You are constantly teaching me.
I want to thank each of you, most sincerely, for having taken the time to post a comment. I think each human being seeks validation that what they do and say means something to others. I have received that from you, and it means more than I can say.
Dorien,I loved your work and you are right that we all have the right to be who we are.."I learned also that I was alone within my own family."..I learned who I was even before I knew the word..Excellent work...I am so haρρy to meet you here.Rated with best regards and wishes for beautiful and Good Holidays!!!
Beautiful poem, of great strength and confidence. Rated.