This is an absolutely true story Book Index
I always want to post those about sisters, but they remind me too much of the pretentious greeting cards my sister would give me. All flowery with some WAYYYYYYYY too long poem. Specific lines of verse, underlined, by her. The ones with the most drivel, underlined twice. Words she would actually never say to me. Better to give me a transcript about 100,001 other sisters got. She actually feels that the use of a ball point pen and parroting what my mother used to do should make the receiver amused she even took the trouble.
I can actually hear the many recipients of this effort sighing "at last, someone said it."
There are days I want to re-establish something with her, but no sense making beds in a burning house.
Today is my birthday. I am one year short of 60!
I am afraid to say I am happy, because when I do, my sister swoons in for the kill. You see, everything that has gone wrong in my life, every relationship - with my parents, my siblings, with my close relationships, with my marriage, every misunderstanding has been because of her. And I do not know why. That's a lie.
My father spent way too much time having hopes for me and ignoring her. Had he divided the means, we both would be healthy individuals. And it is, for once, not of her doing. If he had spent less time worrying about every grade I got, every pound I put on, every job I was having issues with, every man I met and spent more time noticing she was around, perhaps everything would be different. But it's not.
And my sister, she has some personality disorder or something of that nature. I ask people I have known most of my life, most for ten years longer than they have known her (she is 10 years younger than I) have explained it to me. When asking why my mother and she are so against every part of my existence, they have said it is not my mom, but my sister. They dread having to face her head on in any situation. Some have apologized for having to choose, but living in the same town, Kenosha, presents even bigger issues. One of her friends said just going to the grocery store with her is a challenge. She is no.1 in her own constellation and everything and everyone is subordinate to that.
She must be right because she is right. And rather than trying to remain neutral and be friends to both of us, it is just easier to be aligned with her and live a little longer.
But guess what? Everything is far better than I could have ever imagined.
oooops! Is she reading?
Probably not. She only reads recipes.
When she was born I made her my life. I acted as a mother would and ignored her inconsistencies and missteps. I did her a great dis-service.
I have a lovely apartment. I have produced over 400 illustrations, and now a short story going public in a popular rag.
For many months I missed my family, but eventually that resolved itself and as my sister in law Anna tried to pound into me years ago, my family is not a family, they are a walking, talking, eating explosive device and I never hear “incoming” on time.
I have my little slice of heaven, and friends I have had for more than 40 years celebrating with me this weekend. And I embrace Buddhism. Before you state the edicts of this, I want you to realize, that is WHY I write this. She may never read it, but if she does, or others she suppresses, perhaps the result will be self realization and the ability to join the rest of us who love her in an everlasting eternity of peace. Because I want to see my family in the next life and I am promised that all is forgiven and even the worst , the most culpable will find new life and love.
And now I am happy and the closer I am to fine.
I like that part of Happy Birthday.
I heard somewhere “Be happy. It's one way of being wise.”
Thanks to Everyone who voted for me in Reader's Picks. This is a vote from all of you and that is what makes it especially wonderful
By the way IISTG means If It Seems Too Good to be True
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Comments
Love & Blessings on this your birthday, dearie!
R
You share your special day with some very special people.
Rated♥
rated.
From downunder,
where it's the shortest day of the year.
I hope you have a great birthday, and many more happy ones.
Lezlie
Poor woman: We are promised that no matter, we will have a new life of hope in the great beyond, so maybe that is all she will have to look forward to. Or maybe some great human explosion will happen. No matter. I love her.
Fusuna:
Where would I be if not for all of you?
Jon,
We can look forward to doing this together
Kim,
I have been thinking about you as of late. I think it is because I am coresponding with Marty Noble and I mentioned you. Happy shortest day. Ahhhh, this crazy earth
L,
WHY DO THEY DO THAT??????
And all...
being here, the closer I am to fine.
Don't you think these are just the issues that have brought us all here? Shakespear said the most intellectual gentle folks are the ones struck down by the shackles of family
Chicken dude...thankyou
Yes, but it does not need to be that way.
I guess I am waiting for them to find the same peace I found in self recognition and renewed promise.
__R__
on this ... the shortest ... longest day ...
on this ... your ... day ...
Anna1liese: So beautiful Thankyou
NoSpam: Do you really think we woudl chose differently? I would hope so.
Many, many happy years. Best wishes and love.
Many, many happy years. Best wishes and love.
Sending much happiness your way on your B-Day!
Sheepdog: Athankyou, and I think I will
Ande: Yes you sent me a beautiful birthday wish! And yes to the wine!
BlindDream: Yes, I intend to do just that!
It is not ideal I spose but it is way better in our 60's/ May your birthday usher in a belated reunion of sorts. I so understand this feeling of fear of doing well to enrage the baby sister. You cannot, imho, exactly work on it but you can find ways of sending out transmissions of love that the other will catch, one fine day.
In the meantime, THIS IS YOUR DAY AND MAY IT BE VERY FINE. LOVE TO YOU, rrRRRRR
I am trully proud of who.. "'I have a lovely apartment. I have produced over 400 illustrations, and now a short story going public in a popular rag."" And you have all so many friends here, you want you to be successful, loving and loved, healthy and happy!! Your story has happened to all of the families I know, if not in early ages, in later times and in between. I think that there will be a time, that they will come to you, and you will have nothing in your heart but love. I loved meeting you in your birthday day and as for happy being, they also say that is the best revenge. Be glorious and magical !!!
I also loved the music.
And I wish you a geat birthday.
Pierre
R
:)
RATED!
Pierre: Thankyou for the well wishes and bringing the problems of our little family house. I hope we can all continue to work together here. Perhaps OS will give us the ability to run this site with volunteerism and across the board voting for our favorite pieces. It may cause dissention in the ranks but in the long run, this is ouur home and we need to do whatever we can to maintain it's integrity.
So many true wishes, on what you want to come true in the best way!!! Much love to you, and you have a friend in Greece, so when you can, come!!!!
It is almost 9pm here in Houston and the sun is almost setting, and it is beautiful..
Be happy! I'm with Margaret F.
r
PS - I'll hit the big 70 in September.
I come here and suddenly my computer starts singing at me. I have to remember to be ready with the volume controls whenever I read your work. However, this time is was Closer I Am To Fine or whatever that Indigo Girls cut is and I like that one. I especially appreciate that the ad on your blog today is for headphones.
Are you dedicating today to your sister?
The more you focus on her, the more power she has in your life. How much she has is largely your choice. How much do you care and why do you care? Ten years is pretty far apart for sibling rivalry.
How personally you take what you see and hear is largely up to you. Really. It's not like this relationship is full of surprises. You can predict it, so you can prepare yourself for it.
Now I have nothing to offer her, so she is moving on to others.
To give you an idea of her own undoing, both of her children died before 18 years of age.
Such sadness on this, my beginning of the end of my 50's.
Thanks for visiting and bringing perspective.
Much love
D
Rated.
I have an older sister who never married (she is 60 now). She has a daughter, who has a daughter and now a new son, and while very happy to be a grandma, she is always moaning about how much she HATES weddings because SHE NEVER HAD ONE!.
What she can not see, that everyone else can, is her determination to tell the whole world (including dates) that they are politically incorrect. You can not tell a joke in front of this woman without her twisting it into a "racial incident", she was a lesbian for 20 years, then gave that up to go back to men (lost all her lesbian friends over night when she made that decision).
She never got married because no one can stand to talk to her for more than 10 minutes without getting into an argument with her. She doesn't even realize she is arguing with people because "she is right."
Sheesh, where do these sistas come from?
Thanks for sharing yours!
"I ahve my little slice of heaven..." Amen
Word to this:
"There are days I want to re-establish something with her, but no sense making beds in a burning house."
Why...why does it have to be so hard with family members? It's like overcoming an impossible obstacle. Crossing a chasm that keeps changing size. It's so hard. And sad.
I just realized you left a comment.
Thankyou for your kind words! I really miss seeing you here!
Best advice!!
@ZUM
I hate to say this, I truly do, but my life would have been so much easier if I hadn't had a sister. I lover her, but she has been my undoing.
@Stim, Scy, Lunchlady and Rolling
Thankyou for the BD wishes
@KO
Isn't it hard to believe that we are sisters too?
@Beth
I love seeing you here.
You are a true wordsmith so when you find this talent in me, I am so humbled!
@EVERYONE!!!
YEAH!!!! Thanks to ALL who voted for me as a Reader's Pick!