It has been a while and for those of you closely following I apologize. I had moved into the days of my father’s death and that evoked emotions long since buried. It is irresponsible to write a continuing story only to abandon my readers.
All in all, I have an amazing life. If I had known two years ago how much lovelier it could be, I would have done this long ago .
I have a beautiful, elegant apartment. All my bills are paid and I am not under constraints every month to meet my economic base. And my health is better than it has ever been. I haven’t been to my PCP for almost a year.
I walk, a lot, and it feels good to be able to hike 300 feet, one way(yes I counted) to my apartment from the parking lot after shopping. And climbing up a flight of stairs! It is 400 feet one way to take the trash to the dumpsters and 400 feet round trip to get my mail, which, in fact I do every day! Once a month I walk the mile and a half round trip to the pharmacy, and if I need to make a grocery run that is not on the schedule, I walk a mile round trip to Sellers Brothers. What do I benefit? I can eat anything I like and not gain weight.My apartment is ”Asian Chic” theme. The floors, sinks and even toilet are clean enough to eat off. There is never a dish in the sink, nor even a loose hair on the furniture or floor. I have a beautiful hand carved screen on its way and a round Persian rug that will be here in about two weeks.
I have a very good friend here. Tina. She and I cook for each other, watch TV or put together puzzles in each other’s apartments almost every night. She worries about me far more than I worry about her. I am not unkind, it’s just she is far more absorbed with my life than I am of hers. And that is how she prefers it.I do not drink and I thank GOD for that. In the year since I moved here I have had one 6 pack of Cervesa and two of the bottles got “skunked”.
My psyche has been so impressed with me, he uses me as his “sample” patient when speaking of addictions and there subsequent remedies in his many thesis. I went into his program readily, thanks to my friend Paul Brock. Within one month I was on my way and now, I am drug free. It is awesome for those of you in the chains, should check it out. You have no idea how much time you put into arranging, acquiring, and paying for the very medications that will shackle you to one place and one person forever.
For many years I had a gorgeous home. I was a pain in the ass about how it should look. I felt with all the money I made I should be able to walk in at any time, with a friend or co-worker, and be proud. But that never happened. No matter how hard I tried to keep it clean and beautiful, I swear, the people I was with worked equally as hard to make certain I would not disrupt them with visitors. I could clean the kitchen, wash the sinks, counters and floors and within an hour it would be a mess.
I love that my sink has nothing in it, including water spots. My refrigerator smells like nothing instead of month old cabbage, my feet do not stick to the floor. The bathroom has all the towels hanging nicely, the perfumes, and soaps in their place and the toilet without embarrassing tracks of it’s previous user. My bed is made, my computer, printer and scanner are placed just so.
No, I am not so unbending that I do not let people in. I do this just for that reason. I want people here!
The Pièce de résistance; my apartment has actually been recruited as a “model”. What more could I ask for?Why haven’t I said all this before? Because once it was as it is, I was afraid if I told of it, something would happen to change it. I finally realized, when I wrote of the terrible, the opposite did not occur, so why should it when I talk of the amazing things I am blessed with now.
As I have been told, I can be an encouragement to those who are afraid to venture away from the constraints they are under. I am hope.
Two years ago, I was praying, every night:
“Please God, I cannot continue like this, my life is nothing but doctors and drugs. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. With all my art supplies, I do nothing but watch TV. The only thing my partner has to talk to me about is death and dying. We talk about her illnesses, mine, people that are dead or dying. Nothing else is interesting to her. And should I become well, I will not be interesting.”We had a computer, but she had me locked out most days. I had heard about Facebook, but did not actually see it until 4 months after she did her dirty deed. When I did get on, there were 10 Dianne Lindsey’s with no info. Was someone getting on pretending to be me? I will never know. But be certain, I am on there now and it has my picture and as much as you need to know. If you received anything you thought was me prior to October of 2010, you have been duped, though I can see no reason for anyone to do so.
ANY of you are welcome to drop in. I am always ready for company. A state I have strived for the last 40 years and now, I can feel comfortable when I hear that knock on the door.If you are reading this, living all the things I did back then, take heart. If you leave and redirect your life, it will be wonderful. ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!!!
But I could not have done this without my friends, my angels, Jerry, Dana, Bobby, Juli, Paul, Ivan, Clay and of course, all of you!!! If I haven’t mentioned you by name, be assured you are still a part of the big picture, and the Big Guy knows this. And really, isn’t He who ultimately matters?(Oh! and the art on my walls? By non other than...ME)
To be continued
By the way IISTG means If It Seems Too Good to be True