When I person is a writer they write their whole heart and the holes in their heart and they try real hard real hard.  They expose themself not like that man inthe park (must have been cold out--real cold out or he got shrunk in the dryer ONE WORD: Vigra) and this writer person strives for greatness strives it is like that song from St. Elmo's FIIRE is playing each time they write--Der-derder-der-der..der...Der-derder-der..der.  It is like INCREdible OBstacles around this place!!! First off, two eldderty people live here and thyere is always inteertuption.  The grandma does the walking fart downt the hall---PLUUUUUURRRRRPPPP-plurp plrup and still the st. elmo's music swells and she writer writers on though her eyebrows be singed.  Then there is the neeedddy mother. " Writer is writing and all sudden looks up and like a ghost needy mother has appeared silently imploring then unsilently asking for something else or delivering a messeage from Granny.  Then there is Pope chihuahua who puts his litle Pope head under ahnds and feet of writer, known as his 'mama' and he nudges and nudges and whines and headbutss.

Also, if he diesn't get his way, Pope has been known tocommit a passive  aggressive do-do. Uncle Bubby, writer's borhter, has been known to call out, "Pope did an inapproriate do-do behind the couch" (this is just after POpe went on a walk with writer and REFused to do-do) or "Damnit! Pope peed  on these papers!" and writer umust clean it up

And Grandma "Granny" besides  fartwalking down the hall, also loves to complain.  (glad I iddn't get that gene) Granny is deaf so writer can yell back nd not be heard.  So Granny says, "And she (writer) didn't do a good job on the eleeaves!"  (WRITER:  I neverh  siaid i was finished yet!!!!!) Granny:  "They keep saying theyr gonna clean up that porch!!"

WRITer: "You've CLAIMED for 30YEARs you'd clean thi sHOUSe and NEVER DID!!!!!!!!"

Granny to writer's mother:  Is she saying something?

Writer's mother  nervously LOOks toward back of house: "No."

Granny, suspecting something: "I guess I should NEVer say anything. I'll jsut keep my mouth shut for the rREst of MY days!"

writer: You PROMISE??

Grany to writer's mother: Is she saying something?

Writer's mother:  No

So writer is stuick here through loadas of guilt and lack of money.  SHe asked m. chariot to mary her and take her away. she tried to be co-ket-ish and flrity first and she read him say on his websitethat he 's "Offering Discreet Tutelage in the Metropolitan Arts to Inquiring Gentlepersons of Variously Misguided Social Persuasions ........................................ " so she wrote him and said:

"Kindsir: I would like to get tuteled. By you.  How does that waork?"

At fist no response, but after while she got back a reply:

"My dear Mademoiselle Black ~

And you know what would help her feelings?  (hinthinthint)  Cover of OS

They could put fireworks around it and have the st. elmo's music playing as people scrooled through (Der derder der der...der...) writere has writen to her fellow handicapable one-eye kerry about marriagetoo and he IGNOREs.  He told nannetay or trig or micheal rodgers that doctor amy said he woul dhave to marry a person with a LEFT eye in toder to have a left eye kid.  I am heartbroeken.

writer doen't wnat to go low and write some obviously argumentive shit stirring thing like, "Let's put all the old people on an ice floe" or "10 Reasons to aboandon your children" or "don't battered women ask to be battered (even if they are only 21 and it is none of my business) "  or "why do they let white people vote?"

she will not stoop this writer....BUT IF SHE doesn't get an editor's pick AND cover real soon...she'll take HEr Barbies and GO HOME!!!!!!!!

(der...derder derder!)

hasn't had an editors pick in motnths month months they get a little  mad.