Nancy Davis Kho

Nancy Davis Kho
Oakland, California, USA
April 30
I'm a writer, a reader, a bike wife, a mom, and a music fan. And they don't call me Aunt Blabby for nothing. I figure if half of you are laughing WITH me and the other half AT me, we're all still laughing. I look forward to finding out which side you're on.

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MARCH 5, 2012 4:26PM

Reverse Bucket List

Rate: 13 Flag


Here’s the list of ten things I do NOT want to do before I die. So far, so good.

10.) Run a marathon, participate in a tri, or cycle 100 miles in support of disease research. Now before you get judgmental, I promise you that I am all about supporting disease research – in fact, check out the Beyond Batten Disease foundation where my sister in law has worked if you’re looking for an illness that truly needs research dollars right now. And I sponsor any of my friends who are participating in these runs, walks, hikes and swims. But me? I’ll pay you double the suggested sponsorship amount, if you’ll just let me stay on the couch watching Downton Abbey reruns.

9.) Go permanently vegetarian. I’ve dabbled in vegetarianism for years; essentially, when my husband is traveling for work, I go temporarily meatless because I subsist on peanut butter sandwiches eaten over the sink rather than sullying a frying pan and/or dinner plate. However, when he’s back in town, I am ready to tuck back in to a nice pork loin studded with rosemary and garlic, or his famous fried chicken nuggets. And the hamburger from Hudson in Oakland? Plate-lickable. It’s transitory vegetarianism only for me, I’m afraid.

8.) Read Ulysses. You know there are some books in the canon that everyone has to read to understand the nature of Western Civilization? Well, I’ve managed to give this one the slip so far. It’s not personal, it’s just that I think this book is best digested in a high school AP English class or a college seminar if you’re going to get anything at all out of it. And since, as my dad once said to me, “You’ve run out of things to graduate from,” the window here is simply closed.

7.) “Find myself” by visiting a third world country. It’s very en vogue, I know. But I have two problems with his. One, I’m not lost. I’m imperfect, but that’s different. Two, I hate the idea of gaining perspective by looking at people in a different country and saying, “Well, at least I’m not THEM! Their life sucks!”

6.)  Do a cleanse. O lord deliver me from wheat grass, brown rice, or that maple syrup/lemon juice concoction that Beyonce is always going on about. I am a Taurus. We are the sign on the Zodiac that demands food, real food made with butter and cream, and preferably washed down with an old vine Zinfandel.  We’ll take the consequences.

5.) Open a bakery. I’m afraid my dear friend Ledette is to blame for this one. She was living the midlife crisis dream (admittedly for her it was not a crisis but a canny career move in her ’30s,) running a wonderful, successful, and wildly popular bakery in LA. And, as I saw firsthand many times, working 18 hour days, 7 days a week. No amount of access to cookie dough in the freezer or pride of ownership is worth the daily baking grind, or the people who wander up to the cash register that sits next to the giant display case of cupcakes and ask, “Do you sell cupcakes?”

4.) Foster feral cats. I just won’t.

3.) Convert religions on my deathbed. First because I’m pretty happy with what I’ve got. Second, what if the paperwork gets lost in the shuffle and you’re standing at the Pearly Gate and they’re saying, “But you’re not on the Buddhist manifest, I’m sorry. Maybe you’re still with the Lutherans? Hard to say. It can take a few days to process the forms. Do you have an conversion confirmation number?” Just makes me nervous.

2.) Watch Silence of the Lambs. Similar to Number 8, this is a movie that every human being on the planet has seen except me. I do have an aversion to gore, so that’s a big part of it. But now my resistance has become philosophical in nature: I’ve made it this far through life without seeing it, and surely I can go another day.

1.)  Miss my last meal. Cream, butter, wine, meat – just make sure you wake me up and feed me before I go-go, so I die with the taste of heaven on my tongue.

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Brilliant. I think you missed a few, but this is essentially my list too!
what did I miss? Do tell!
I read #7 " “Find myself” by visiting a third world country. " and then I looked at where you live.

I like a lot of third world countries much more than Oakland!

Lew, maybe that's why the yen for a third world country doesn't beckon. I'm living right in the center of one. Naw I'm kidding - I love Oakland...
Love 'em all. In fact, I think you stole my list! I haven't seen Silence of the Lambs, either. I draw the line at cannibalism. And sorry, I'm not even going to pretend to be a vegetarian. I'll never tell a vegetarian they're wrong to be one, I even admire them. I'll eat a vegetarian meal if I'm invited to a vegetarian dinner party. But in my case, it's just not going to happen.

I completely agree with almost all of these. Excellent list and explanation Nancy. We part ways on Silence of the Lambs. Although I'm pretty squeamish when it comes to violent movies, the acting performances of Hopkins and Foster are outstanding and their scenes together - mesmerizing.
As nilesite said, Brilliant. Different from mine for sure, since I have already done several of things on your list, but I love this post just the same!
Ulysses.. Oh. Dear. God. That may be number one on my list, but I wholeheartedly agree with all of these.
Great list. But my daughter lives in a third world country and I'd like to visit her there, so I'm going to replace that one with "Vote Republican."
Excellent -- I think I like don't want to do the same things I don't want to do....
OK - you missed zip lines! All those happy vacationers zipping along at tree level? Really? Never going to do that. And I'd add bungee jumping - even if Ann Curry did it without swearing. Again, brilliant list.
I love the concept! And so easy to accomplish! I share many of your items, plus climbing Everest, any polar expeditions, and any Steven Seagal movie (having seen one).
I like this list... I agree with #2 especially. JF is one of my fav actresses but I'll skip this movie for the same reason as you.

If I did a list like this I'd start with "Never go to World Series or Super Bowl game". I am not fond of making rich people richer. -ciao
Oh Nancy, this is hysterical, and I wonder if we're long lost twins. I'm not a Taurus, but I love food. Real food. Ulysses is some pompous shit. Bakery? Love the baked goods but I'm just too lazy for that. And I don't do scary movies of any stripe, I have too literal of an imagination and I don't like waking up at night for months after.

Pass the wine.
Love this --- have shared it with many friends and co-workers, all of whom (like me )agree with you. Thanks for a great post!

p.s. I will add "Go Camping" to my list. :-)
I like the idea of reverse bucket list. I'll get to work on mine but hope you don't mind if I take most from yours, 'cause I feel the same about all except maybe number 5. R