Darkside

darkside

darkside
Birthday
December 31
Bio
Lots of layers. Not like a onion has layers, nor an ogre...but layers nonetheless.

Darkside's Links

Salon.com
Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 23, 2009 12:32PM

Divorceland: Sign on the lawn, heavy heart...

The "For Sale" sign is on the lawn, and the open house is this weekend.  Inside the house there's a last minute scramble to clean, remove personal photos, scrub, paint, and declutter.  Outside the handymen and painter touch things up quickly.

My oldest is very unhappy with the move; the com… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 9, 2009 1:47PM

Divorceland: Staying silent when you want to scream.

Sometimes, things get complicated.

Those of you who've read my articles (bless you, I still don't get why, but hey, thanks!) know that's pretty much an understatement where my situation is concerned. 

Still, as events head towards the endgame of finally selling the house and moving into the dup… Read full post »

So buckle up, buttercups, because it's venting time.

I brought the kids to see my parents this past weekend, because they hadn't seen each other in a good month.  We left on a Friday night and came back Sunday afternoon.  During this time, I took care of the kids, got pampered… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 21, 2009 11:32AM

Divorceland: Patience and wanting to kick a cat.

The tension is mounting.

As the time of putting the house on the market gets closer, I am realizing just how much work there is to be done, and how much OF that work is falling on my shoulders.

We had a handyman come look at the house on Tuesday; he… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JUNE 29, 2009 6:55AM

Divorceland Primed: MS can only slow it down

So it's an interesting world we live in.

It took all of a couple weeks after the MS diagnosis for both my wife and I to realize we need to continue the separation process and looking for the duplex.  We've simply gone too far to really turn back time effectively.

There… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JUNE 22, 2009 3:27PM

Darkside: Two small ways MS is pissing me off (A Vent!)

Ok, so I DO plan to blog a complete "what is MS" post...eventually.

In the meantime, let me run down the physical symptoms I've got for you:

  • Right hand is either numb completely, pins and needles, burning or freezing.
  • Bottom of right foot numb.
  • Part of tongue numb.
  • Part of
  • Read full post »
Editor’s Pick
JUNE 19, 2009 9:37AM

Divorceland on Hold: The MS Diagnosis

Sometimes life throws you curve balls.

A few weeks ago, I went on a business trip for work.  The chance for true relaxation, I thought.  Spent some time with a friend out to dinner, got a couple great hugs, came back to a nice hotel room and rested.

I actually felt… Read full post »

MARCH 25, 2009 8:48AM

Divorceland: A Busy Month

Has it really been a month?  Time is beginning to move again; this is a good thing.

First of all, it was nice to take a break, and it's nice to return.  Thanks to those of you who checked in on me.

So here we go.

During the past month, I've… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 23, 2009 9:20AM

Divorceland: A Break, not a Flounce...

It's time for a break.

Since late December, I've had the benefit of OS folks listening to my inner thoughts and experiences as I move through the process of separating from my wife.  I have encountered many wonderful people and been truly surprised at the outpouring of support from many of… Read full post »

Some quick updates, and then a bit of dark humor.

 1. The texting dispute was resolved with a mild confrontation and her apologizing last night.  I am implementing the "don't text first" policy.

2. Today is joint counseling.  I'm a bit way of what "surprises" may come my way. Stay tune… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 4, 2009 10:46AM

Divorceland: Hitting my limit

So, something interesting to me.

I'm finding that my anger about the situation is bleeding out in odd ways. 

It's not just the obvious stuff, like my wife texting her girlfriend in places she shouldn't be, as we've discussed, but the interactions and recognition of things about her I really… Read full post »

Happy Tuesday.

So last night wasn't MUCH drama...some sadness, discussion of how to start working on the house to get it ready to sell.  Oh, and I got my IKEA catalog, so I'm going to start putting together my dream apartment and budgeting it out.  Nothing like planning long term, right?… Read full post »

Monday morning, back to work.

 So I want to first say a sincere thank you to my OS friends for being concerned about me and wanting the best for me as I go through this ordeal.  I am very grateful for such outpourings of thoughtfulness, truly.

I hope that my responses… Read full post »

JANUARY 31, 2009 10:15PM

Divorceland: From the 18th Floor, Day 2

Saturday night!

 So, here I am on the 18th floor...another night.  My son is snoring blissfully on the pull-out couch; the baby, who has NOT had a good afternoon (colic, anyone?) is sleeping in her car seat - I had to pick it up and swing her back and forth in… Read full post »

JANUARY 30, 2009 8:26PM

Divorceland: Denial on the 18th Floor

It's Friday Night.  Welcome to Toronto.

 I'm writing this from the 18th floor of the Grand Hotel.  It's a beautiful room...the view of the city is amazing.  My baby is lying on the bed next to me playing and cooing, my oldest playing a well-earned game of Pokemon on the DS. … Read full post »

JANUARY 29, 2009 9:59AM

Divorceland: I'm an Emotional Yo-Yo.

So, I'm an emotional yo-yo.

One of my online friends who's privvy to the situation is getting frustrated with me, I think, and I totally get why.  I am a mass of contradictions at this point, and I'm having a hard time reconciling them.

It seems I'm experiencing all those "grief… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 28, 2009 9:13AM

Divorceland: Pissed off in the snow!

"F*** you!  Why did you ruin our life!  I can't STAND this sh** one more minute!"

 Yeah, that was me screaming about an hour ago.  Alone in the car, thinking about everything that's gone on since last July, after I'd spent five months with my wife taking care of her PICC… Read full post »

Not so mad today.

Last night was rough.  During the day I'd gotten hot under the collar finally somewhat about the situation, and I came home to find a barely functioning spouse.  She had made dinner, was taking care of the baby, but was clearly extremely depressed, not making eye contact,… Read full post »

JANUARY 26, 2009 9:23AM

Divorceland: 15 Things I Won't Miss

Ok...for reasons I'm not ready to go into yet, I'm pretty annoyed today and low on sleep. 

 So it's in that spirit I present to you, in no particular order...15 things I won't miss about my marriage. 

(Note: this isn't where I'm nice, or balanced.  I'm upset, so please take… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 23, 2009 9:15AM

Divorceland: since it doesn't fit, we must a-quit.

Another week.

Today marks a month since I found out about the affair and realized my marriage was no longer viable.  I feel like I've aged about a decade or so, internally.  Sometimes I feel older, wiser, more seasoned...and sometimes I feel like the skin has been flayed from my organs… Read full post »

JANUARY 21, 2009 10:12AM

Divorceland: Drama, drama, drama.

I had to take a few days.

So I'm starting to come to grips with the fact the marriage is ending.  It's very sad, but more and more I'm convinced that I'm doing the right thing.

One of the things that's convincing me of that fact? 

The DRAMA.

I came… Read full post »

JANUARY 16, 2009 10:18PM

From Divorceland: Homecoming Reflections

I'm home.

A small post, full of small reflections and big deals.

1. My baby is beautiful, I swear she got bigger.

2. The oldest was cuddly and full of "DADDY!" - it made my night.

3. I've come to realize I need to let go of my anger so I… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 15, 2009 1:59PM

From Divorceland: Instant confessions, just add alcohol

So.

Checking in from Pittsburgh in a bit of a haze; I'm recovering slowly from the night before.

On the home front, pretty quiet today.  Wife and gf are painting their business space; I don't know what gf's husband processed, but evidently the storm has passed for now.  Distance is easing… Read full post »

I'm on the road.  Amen.  The road gives me solace, and at the end of the night, two friends are going to take me out for sushi and drinks.  This day literally could not get any better.

 That being said, last night was routine in its oddness. After the oldest was in bed,… Read full post »

JANUARY 13, 2009 9:36AM

From Divorceland: A small rant

This morning, a small rant.

So wife went to her first solo counseling session last night.  I was glad, even though it meant juggling our schedules and me putting the oldest to bed while holding the baby, always a trick to manage.

I had to go to my second job for an… Read full post »