Painfully Suburban

Painfully Suburban with Dan-onymous
MAY 19, 2008 9:43AM

Fast Food Medication

Rate: 1 Flag

If there's one thing that sickness has taught me, it's that when the chips are down, I'll turn to some comforting fast food as a last-gasp attempt at regaining health (very counterintuitive, right?). I spent most of last week battling a miserable stomach virus, and by Saturday I was still sick, exhausted, and really, really hungry. So naturally I dragged myself out to the car and drove to the closest Wendy's, where I got a cheeseburger, fries, and (most critically) an orange soda. This closely mirrored a similar stomach virus incident from a couple winters ago, when, after several days of sickness,  I  dragged myself out to the car, defrosted it, went to Dunkin Donuts, and used most of the change in the ashtray to buy an egg and cheese croissant. Although Saturday's Wendy's meal and my stomach decided to, well, "part company" after less than an hour, the morale boost of eating some greasy fast food must have done something positive, because by Sunday I was on the mend. I wonder what Morgan Spurlock would have to say about that.

Speaking of greasy fast food, next weekend I'm going to try to make my first visit to a Cici's Pizza Buffet, which has spent the past several years tempting the northeast with promises of all-you-can-eat pizza, salad, and pasta for "an incredibly low price" while having no restaurants open in the immediate area (apparently they follow the Sonic Drive-In method of advertising). I'll let you know how it goes!  

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Campbell's Chunky Sirloin Burger soup is the only food I want to eat when I've got the flu or a stomach bug. I don't know why it works for me, but it does. Now if I've got one of those rare near-death hangovers that used to be common place before I quit drinking back in the 1990s, and that I might get once a year now from too much partying, I want to find the nearest truck stop and get a very large plate of eggs over easy, double order of greasy sausage, patties or link, a mountain of hash browns, and a gallon of coffee. Repeat as needed until head stops pounding like a jackhammer with every heart beat. I'll bet other OS readers have their own special cures too.
Its the sodium you are craving. After being sick (or hung over), you were dehydrated so your body is craving something salty to help you get your fluids back in balance.

My post-hangover meal of choice is pizza -- with anchovies. Ummmmmm salty.... but not unpleasant!
DN, that makes perfect sense. On Saturday night I drank most of a bottle of Pedialyte, and that definitely was a huge help. It tasted like salty, syrupy apple juice.
I meant DK...I guess I was thinking phonetically!
Best hangover food? Greasy Mexican, pizza is a close second but only if it's really good. I could stomach an Out Back Pizza from Taos right now, yum! If it wasn't a nine hour drive, I'd go get one.
Maybe they deliver!
You think so? I'm always a loyal customer when I am there! I can tell because my pants get too tight.
I actually mail order my Pizza from Imos in St. Louis -- best thin crust and cheese mixture in the world...
When I'm in need of pizza, all I really wanna do is fly to NYC and get a slice from Ray's on Prince St. I can approximate the exstacy often enough at Arinell's on Valencia here in SF, but, as a rule in this epicurean valhalla, the pizza sucks.

My hangover cure is called the "LD McMuffin," a variation on the theme pioneered by Ray Kroc's fast food holy of holies, homemade, of course, with a Thomas' English Muffin browned "just so," a perfectly runny egg over-easy, a slice of melted mild Vermont cheddar, two slices (broken in half) of Niman Ranch Dry Cured bacon, with fresh-cracked pepper. And a Bloody Mary.
Mexican food, absolutely. Is Arinell's good, Lonnie? I've never been there!