Painfully Suburban

Painfully Suburban with Dan-onymous
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FEBRUARY 25, 2008 12:42PM

The Spam Awards Ceremony: You Vote!

Rate: 1 Flag

Salon's new spam blocking system is doing a fantastic job. Like a high-end reverse osmosis filter, it keeps the detritus that is spam from contaminating a crystalline sea of actual emails. Sadly, though, the spam blocker has largely put to an end my pet project of compiling humorous spam email headlines into a special folder known simply as "The Book." With fond memories of the bygone era of spam-filled days and nights, I now share with you some of the greatest entries in The Book with the hopes that you will vote for the greatest spam of all. The nominees:

1. FV Sales: Demande de Contact (I guess poor FV wasn't held enough as a baby)

2. James Coward: Turbo Sperm for You and Your Girl! (Oh James, you zany, optimistic character!)

3. Ruthie Jensen: Second-best vvq Hussys qph Ass ahmr Gets lur Topless! (At least Ruthie thought enough of us not to send us 3rd- 4th-best hussies)

4. Jojobawax: Get your Jojoba Wax!! Slickest Styling Product (Well...if it's the slickest)

5. Lupe Bland: Earn money without running the risk of loosing (You may earn money, but you'll certainly "loose" the respect of all your friends who value correct spelling)

6. Rchard (sic) McInally: Auntie says they're stingy about money. (Who, Rcard?! Who does Auntie say is stingy about money?! Nooo, don't go into the light yet!)

And finally, an honourable mention goes to Term Life Agent, who contributed the most poetic spam: A Life Insured is a Life Secured.


PS-Feel free to contribute any notable spam emails yourself as write-in candidates!

Author tags:

spam, vote, humour

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