supposed to be 100 here, today and tomorrow.  if so, praise god and hallelujah: i have 7 dollars to go to the hotel and swim all day.

its totally cool in my apartment right now - too cool, even.  if you leave the fans in your windows at night, and close everything up tight (including curtains) during the day, your house should stay quite bearable.  i know its hard to believe, but its true.  been tested in upstairs apartments that would get so hot you thought you might get heatstroke.  sister kept telling me, over and over, to close my windows and curtains during the day.  finally, thank god, i listened.

didnt sing so well last night.  song was on top of old smokey, and it had nothing to sink my teeth into.  also, i didnt "feel it."  but i did my best and i did okay.

handholder came over last night with everybody.  sat by me.   made sweet comments and sang a song that was so for me its not even funny.  it was bittersweet and well-written.  i told him his songwriting has really improved, now he has a muse.  he did not deny it was for me.  all his other songs he has written recently, that i would swear are for me, he says no.  he says he just made them up.  but this one starts out with handholding, for god's sake.  although, handholding is universal.  it says, "if you don't win, somehow i lose."  damn skippy, handholder. 

summer vacation, so far so good.  boy seems happy to go just about anywhere i ask him.  and yesterday we went somewhere, and for the life of me, i cant think - oh.  the movies.  ok.  my friend took us to see Rock of Ages.  i will confess that i kindof liked it.  oh sure, it was stupid as hell.  and tom cruise's swagger was hilarious.  but his tormented artist eyes were lovely, and it was a bit of fun.  but i like alec baldwin and russell brand and paul giamatti, so....

friday is my nephew's 28th birthday.  would have been my nephew's 28th birthday. still cant talk about it.  

so many spiders on my porch that i, who totally do not fear spiders, get severe creeps and imagine them in my hair, when i sit out there.  however - they are NOT in my house, as they were last year.  i think the new windows saved us all.  i will sweep them down today.

speaking of spiders, i think i got a spider-bite, and i hope its not the kind that causes necrosis.  it itches like crazy.

my car got another flat tire.  took it for repair and asked him to just check all of them.  he replaced two valve stems, but not by taking the tires off.  he put them on and bead-sealed them.  i worry they will simply fly off from tire pressure, one day.

not talking about impending move.

not talking about old best friend who keeps telling me stories about how she and her soon-to-be-ex have ironed out that he is to give her 5k a month child support, plus a 10k nest egg right now.  how can she be stupid enough to not realize that that might not be what i can stand to hear about right now?   i think its appalling.  and i have decided to put her on the back burner, because i dont need a friend that isnt more aware than that. 

continue to love my town with all my heart.

feeling better.  handholder doesnt have to love me, but he has to be nice, and he is.  have been to work, and have a focus.  house is quite tidy.

things are pretty good.