warning:  rather porn-y

 

let's undress each other, wend our fingers across the skin, fingernails creating trails of goosebumps, near and nearer and maybe even into various apertures.  slide your soft lips (oh god your lips) over mine, so softly its all i can do to not/… Read full post »

i am officially requesting the day off from work.

no, for real.

i really am.

and i will not think about how we said months ago that we would watch it together.  i will watch it alone, and laugh just as much.  maybe i will have a party, even.

yes, i… Read full post »

ryan ryan you are so cute

not only that, i think you're astute

 

i loved you as bianca's hot-blooded honeyboo

and tattooed and ratty in blue valentine, too

 

dont even get me started on stupid, crazy

i left that theatre swoony and hazy

 

they say you say… Read full post »

ok, first, a confession:  for the past week, maybe two weeks, maybe even three (maybe a month) (since the san diego fiasco started.  when was that?),  i have been smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, or more.  sometimes only a couple more, sometimes a noticable amount more.

its gro… Read full post »

it's mothers day. 

 

the kid left last night at about midnight.  it was against my preference, but i dont argue much anymore with him.  he will find his way or he wont.  i dont know which it will be, but i do know i cant find it for him. … Read full post »

i continue the walking and eating better - the walking i am more down with than the eating better, but i am doing it anyway.  mostly.  tho i did learn that if i make my homemade baked mac & cheese, all control goes out the window and i eat it 6… Read full post »

'nother banner day yesterday.  will share just a bit of it.

was sitting at my favorite place in the whole wide world (i might have more than one, and why not?  i have more than one favorite song.  more than one favorite way to eat pasta.  more than one favorite flower,… Read full post »

there are marriages where the biggest connection between the spouses is that one uses the other's credit cards.

and it works, for those people.

"i will be pretty and deferential and not make demands of your time or emotions."

"i will provide you with the means to spend your free time… Read full post »

i have.  its the "new boy stress/my son stress/and cigarettes diet."

its apparently incredibly effective.  but its not just that, of course.  if only it were that simple.

i do also have a job now where i stand all day, which is hard on the feet, but apparently good for everything… Read full post »

a spa day, courtesy of a friend of mine, who was celebrating his girlfriend's birthday.  i got him a discount at a spa, and he treated for me to get a "treatment" too!

so i met his girlfriend - he has scored big time.  she is beautiful, fit, friendly, and confident. … Read full post »

today was the sort of day you only get a few of each year.  the weather was absolute perfection, the skies were blue, the air crisp.

i took a hike with keith that i have been wanting to take for a long time, but have been afraid to.  afraid bc the… Read full post »

went out last night and had to wear my winter coat.  i will wear it in mid-summer if i have to, because i would rather look dumb than be cold anymore.  but, since i am always cold,  you cant really take my word about the arctic conditions.   my friend the… Read full post »

a new one i just learned today, from facebook links.

my favorite of his and tammy's a cool one with him and elvis costello and, of course: i will meet him when i am up in heaven, thats for…

Read full post »

oy.  talked to him yesterday, couple times.   during our brief conversations, he mentioned the number of office parks; twelve dollar baked potatoes; and the happenin' bar his friend took him to.   hmmm.  

office parks, eh?  of course i know they exist.  i… Read full post »

he's 3000 miles away checking out a job.   he's as far away as he can get on the mainland united states.  thats far.  i went to the gym this morning.  i ate a relatively healthy breakfast (relative to ten cigarettes or a bowl of cap'n crunch.  yes, god help me, i… Read full post »

two sparrows and a starling on the lawn

the sparrow makes off immediately with a nice bunch of dead grass

the starling picks things and throws them down instantly

finds a piece, looks like two pieces of dead leaf stuck together.

walks with it for a moment, evaluating, and flies… Read full post »

you tried to talk me into it for a long time

but i knew how i felt about it

way above something so pointless, so crass

it wasnt even a possibility

i stand in this world for what is right

no chance of me enjoying that

nope, i will stay off… Read full post »

you cant buy an anteater, and bring it home, and get mad when it wants ants to eat.  i think thats fair to say.

but what if the anteater's description said it also ate rose petals and hay, both of which you have in abundance?  so you went ahead and bought… Read full post »

its poems.  i have a lot more poems than you people have read, you know.  and i get all this positive feedback at open mic (a stringent crowd, they are), and last time someone asked me if i have a book, i said no, and somehow my brain remembered that i… Read full post »

there's a cold rain falling.  its a good rain, a good soaking rain which will nourish the grass and the flowers and the trees.  which is better than a driving sheet of rain, that runs off and right into the river and is of little use to the grass and the… Read full post »

too much to do, at least almost enough time to do it, not doing any of it.

watching non-stop dr who (you can watch dr who for weeks, apparently, what with all the long seasons).  i do love it.  its like a B movie and the twilight zone.  very cheesy and… Read full post »

so, there's a debate on mental illness and whether those who dont seek treatment are arrogant losers who choose to not see themselves and the challenges they present to those around them?

is that it?

i have lots of thoughts on mental illness, but i would rarely think that one who… Read full post »

remember yesterday i said i was going to have to learn to ignore the chaos around me, and to live MY day, instead?

and that its a challenge for me to not let my son affect my day?

and my attempt to learn how to not let my son affect my… Read full post »

its true.  in gym class, swimming class, when i was 24ish, we were practicing sinking to the bottom of the pool (presumably to learn to get back to the surface?  to hold our breath?  i dont know.).  exhale all your breath, he said, and you will sink to the bottom.  i… Read full post »

new boy got an offer he couldnt refuse

in california

not much else to say

except that when i wake up in the middle of the night

and realize he is next to me

a powerful joy courses through me

and i cant sleep, for the pleasure

of his length, next… Read full post »