CoyoteOldStyle

CoyoteOldStyle
Location
Cheshire County, New Hampshire, United States
Birthday
June 02
Bio
On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics. --Richard Feynman

MY RECENT POSTS

FEBRUARY 14, 2011 7:51AM

CoyoteOldStyle’s Heart-Shaped Contest Winners!!!!!

Rate: 18 Flag

 With a nod to Open Salon’s slogan You make the headlines, on my page,
You Make the Captions!

It's been almost a year since we had fun with CoyoteOldStyle’s Armpit of the Year Photo Caption Contest. And because you asked for it, the Photo Caption Contest is back!

To take your mind off the fact that you didn't, yet again, get ANYTHING for Valentine’s Day, I’m offering some new “interesting” images for your captioning pleasure. Keeping in mind the gravitas of the ancient Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times,” I present you industrial-strength photo-weenies with this newly expanded and improved incarnation of CoyoteOldStyle’s Heart-Shaped Photo Caption Contest.

Remember: If you figure out which ONE photo in my post Snow News is Good News is black and white and enter captions in this contest, you get a special prize right here when the winners are revealed!*

Write some creative, pithy, thought-provoking, silly, happy, sad or descriptive captions and indicate which photo they are for. The infallible panel of august judges will be picking winners and will update this page with the winning captions. Have at it and have fun!


 

Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle

A.

Winner: Dale Chihuly's infant projectile vomit was a sign of his future calling. (drindl skirt)

Runner-up: "Southern California Experiences Cold Spell. Nuts Freeze To Palms. News At 11" (Bill S.)

Honorable Mention: The Fireworks that Summer were wrong. Just wrong. Then the apocalypse happened. (xenonlit xl)


Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle  

B.

Winner: "But are you SURE it will repel UFOs?" (Bill S.)

Runner-up: At first the elders, the natural sidewalk superintendents, gathered with hands in and out pockets, lifting faded caps, scratching their heads. And they quipped jokes as the trans world monorail formed: now only spools of tautly strung guide wires and defiant, huge spans of steel. (J.P. Hart)

Honorable Mention: "Scotty! Not THAT kind of power!" (CZ Phoenix)

 


Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle  

C.

Winner: When he looked up, Atlas noticed the huge amount of rust on the roof of the world. He shrugged. (Bill S.)

Runner-up: Although the wanderers did not yet know it, they had stumbled upon a Time Transporter. (Rich Banks)

Honorable Mention: Amputated Star Cafe (Chicago Guy)


Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle  

D.

Winner: I'm Jonathan Narcissus Seagull. I don't know who that other guy is. (Gabby Abby)

Runner-up: Hey, where's the "all you can eat" buffet? (bikepsychobabble)

Honorable Mention: "So, baby - come here often? Wanna hit the sand bar? Huh? Waddayasay?" (Bill S.)


Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle  

E.

Winner: No one to kiss good night. (OEsheepdog)

Runner-up: Moody Blue Sunset (Rich Banks)

Honorable Mention: "And to your right, you can see.... ah.... nothing. Absolutely nothing." (Bill S.)


Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle  

F.

Winner: Plate of dried oatmeal discovered during house demolition in Omaha fetches $4200 on eBay! (Natalie K. Munden)

Runner-up: The maker of the cake was disqualified from the competition by judges concerned that there was, in fact, no edible material at all in its construction. (Kent Pitman)

Honorable Mention: "So, once we stripped all the paint off the Sistine Chapel's ceiling we found this. Better than some stupid frescoe, ain't it?" (Bill S.)

 


Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle  

G.

Winner: "What possessed you to stick your FACE in the FLOUR SIFTER, Nancy?" (Bill S.)

Runner-up: In his dream, he had a great promotion. But the office was horrible! (xenonlit xl)

Honorable Mention: The subway grate waited for Marilyn. (J.P. Hart)


Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle  

H.

Winner: Whenever Merry Maids has to clean the outside of the windows of Donald Trump's underwater home that was once used as a set on the James Bond film "For Your Eyes Only" there is an upcharge of $150. (designanator)

Runner-up: Too many margaritas last night and I wake up inside a salt shaker. (OEsheepdog)

Honorable Mention: Blue paw, breaks (Sheba Marx)

 


Photography Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle  

I.

Winner: When the Desert Cools, He's as Inviting as Sin. But He's a Deceiver, that Sonora, and He Wants to Burn You. (Rich Banks)

Runner-up: We're first over the landing site, but the Starbucks down there is packed! (Natalie K. Munden)

Honorable Mention: "And now, a word from our sponsor..." (dirndl skirt)


*Special Black & White Contest Winner!* 

One person correctly identified the black and white image in the post Snow News is Good News! Super added kudos and a high five to bikepsychobabble for figuring out that this is the sole grayscale image in the post:

Grayscale Detail. Photograph Copyright (c) 2011 CoyoteOldStyle.

 

If you enjoyed playing this game, please don’t forget to “rate” it.


Photos Copyright © 2011  CoyoteOldStyle.  All Rights Reserved.

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
COS, back by popular demand!! Great to see a new photo caption contest and I'll be back later with my various captions. Happy Valentine's Day!
designanator, that's right. The august judges demanded it and so did one or two OS contributors. Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours as well.
Beautiful photos. A: Glisten, H: Blue paw,breaks, I Peek-a-boo, G: On my nerves, F: Fine print, D: Who me?. Fun. R
A. This is what happens to a peacock when it's left in the refrigerator too long.
B. The town considered that perhaps it was time to get rid of their community abacus and buy a computer.
C. The chameleon spider struggled to fit in visually against the man-made roof.
D. As the two gulls, each from opposite dimensions, contemplated one another, a shadowy “other” slipped through almost unnoticed.
E. Through an early morning haze of too much tequila, the colorful Mexican blanket took on an almost surreal quality.
F. The maker of the cake was disqualified from the competition by judges concerned that there was, in fact, no edible material at all in its construction.
G. The mysterious crystalline life form was held at bay by the Tholian web.
H. It would have been just another bit of bear claw turquoise jewelery from the southwest, if not for the traces of radium that made it glow prettily in the night.
I. The set of the Truman Show of Maricopa County was always having little pieces of the ceiling fall down, exposing the world outside world in embarassing ways.
All captions have a Valentine's related theme.

A. These artichoke hearts are a bit oily.
B. Catenary got your tongue?
C. Cross my support truss and hope to die.
D. I shore am lonely on this day.
E. No one to kiss good night.
F. I've had my filigree of this holiday.
G:This holiday is starting to grate on me
H.Too many margaritas last night and I wake up inside a salt shaker.
I. Your love is the one blue patch of sky on a cloudy day.
O, my gaud it will take a visit to a higher Internet loader.
I will be back later?
I may feed sunbathers.
It'd be fun to feed pigeons.
I wish you were a CFO CV.
Farmers get a f- in bah ay.
No follow a author order.
`
I sigh this author V.L. James
I'd get you a Ah Valor present.
I no do spell Arthors correctly

You deserve a Vanilla Cone.
I'll visit a Loco Dairy Queen.
Mensch. Coyote Old Cones.

You deserve a polka dot bikini.
You deserves a Oxford medal.

You get a Vanilla Bean 2 scoop!
i signed author james, respects.
I gotta shoots f-stops outdoors.
Love Coyote in neighborhoods.
I shall Love thy Old Coyote too.
No cootie.
Ay Beauty.
Honorable.
Memories.
Mentionable.
You a mensch.
Integrity. Holy.
Thanks `Calms.
Ah! no irritating.
Sweet. no shriek.
Fun, fun, fun!!!

A. A photo on the web that has gone viral shows what happened after a customer used Fabreze in the place of a personal deodorant.

B. Before George Bush thought of the "internets" as "tubes" he envisioned them as overhead wires similar to those on the New Haven line, not far from his birthplace in CT.

C. The neighbor's mid century modern industrial strength cathedral ceiling.

D. They said this was the beach for the San Diego area OS meet-up. I guess I'm early.

E. I warned you that the used Nikon you bought on Ebay with the huge scratch running across the lens would totally suck!

F. Whenever Merry Maids has to clean Donald Trump's bedroom ceiling there is an upcharge of $75.

G. As the couple strolled along the entrance to the West Side Highline Park the girlfriend told her boyfriend that he was really grating on her nerves lately.

H. Whenever Merry Maids has to clean the outside of the windows of Donald Trump's underwater home that was once used as a set on the James Bond film "For Your Eyes Only" there is an upcharge of $150.

I. I can blow a hole through your prediction that it is only going to be cloudy today!
:-D

Can't stay away from a COS caption contest.

A. "Too much hair gel??? YA THINK???"

B. "That's NOT what 'doing lines' means, Earl."

C. When he looked up, Atlas noticed the huge amount of rust on the roof of the world. He shrugged.

D. "So, baby - come here often? Wanna hit the sand bar? Huh? Waddayasay?"

E. "Peter? God here. Who's been smudging my sunsets again?"

F. "No, it''s not the family crest really. It's a teddy bear in a 1700's style dress."

G. "Oh, great. A grate. In fact, a great grate. Walking on grates is something I hate. It must be fate that I'll be late."

H. After months of sloggin through the snow, the Crenshaw's finally found it; a footprint left by the Abominable Snow Saint Bernard.

I. "HEY! SHUT THAT WINDOW, DAMMIT! I'M TRYIN' TO SLEEP!"
A. "Southern California Experiences Cold Spell. Nuts Freeze To Palms. News At 11"

B. "That's very nice, Rube, but you were supposed to make a simple alarm clock from a potato."

C. "OK, OK. So it will be known as the QUADAGON. So WHAT?"

D. "Dammit! No one told me I had 'flight head'!"

E. "Imagine how nice it would be WITHOUT the smog!"

F. "So, once we stripped all the paint off the Sistine Chapel's ceiling we found this. Better than some stupid frescoe, ain't it?"

G. "So, what are we barbecuing? A whole STEER?"

H. "An abstract representation of a native American headdress? Nah - my three year old stuck his hands in the mashed potatoes."

I. "Peek-a-boo! I see YOU!"
A. "And this is what happens when you sneeze on top of Mount Washington in February, magnified two hundred and fifty times."

B. "I think we need to replace the first doohickey to the left of the waddayacallit."

C. "You've heard of the 'Southern Cross'? Well, this is the 'Pittsburgh Cross'."

D. "Wow! They weren't KIDDING! Life IS a beach!"

E. "And to your right, you can see.... ah.... nothing. Absolutely nothing."

F. "Well, it's REALLY just macaroni the kids threw at the ceiling, but we liked it so much we left it."

G. "What possessed you to stick your FACE in the FLOUR SIFTER, Nancy?"

H. "That's me when I was twenty and had hair - and yes, it was my 'abstract period', why do you ask?"

I. "OOPS!"
The august judges are already clamoring for more entries, more entries, more entries. Maybe they forgot to take their tranquilizers today.
I'll try and add more later, but I feel like I am hijacking the captions.

I want to see more people throwing themselves at the august judges here. I mean, I'm a caption whore and I'm not shy about it. :-D
The black and white photo in Snow News is, I believe , the first photo, out the window, through the curtains.

1. Somewhere, deep in there, spring lies
2. "Scotty! Not THAT kind of power!"
3. All paths really do lead to the center.
4. Hmm... who stepped on my sand? My sand!
5. Eternity, backlit
6. Okay, but exactly how do I pipe THAT onto a cupcake?
7. Shadowplay.
8. Is it cells or my new skylight?
9. "Right through there, then take a right and head for the stars."
I gotta come back for this one!
Forgot to add - my vote on Snow News is #8 - the icicles.
A. Lady Gaga: Up Close

B. Zing, Buzz, Hum!

C. Amputated Star Cafe

D. Oh Gawd. is that a pimple?

E. Road Sky Collide

F. Curlicue Treasure Song

G. Bipple Ribbed

H. Chagallogram in Blue

I. Mountain Sandwich

Black and White Guess-- (Total Guess) last one?

That was fun. Thanks!
Neat idea. I'll come back to see the winners - judges will have a tough time, I'm sure.
Remember, the august judges have shown themselves in the past to have weaknesses for fine liquor and dancing girls.

Keep trying to answer that bonus question from Snow News is Good News and keep captioning alive!
A. "Something never before witnessed by human eyes - an orgy of deep-sea eels."

B. "Ripley's Believe It Or Not: The world's largest loom."

C. "I said I need some 'REEFER'. NOT some 'roofer'."

D. "EIGHT! NINE! TEN!.......HEY! Where did everybody go?"

E. "I can't believe they make you go outside to smoke now."

F. "This piece goes for fourteen thousand and is made completely of elephant dung."

G. "MA! Dad is gonna spank Tommy with the cheese grater!"

H. No one told John that the windows he'd be washing were on the Nautilus.

I. "I TOLD you not to poke it!"
D) They finally got down to the sea with only a British Petroleum credit card.

G) The subway grate waited for Marilyn.

H) I spoke of my blue phase. You opened the door.

I) And then with slingshots they zipped acorns out from the vast expanse, toward grey coolness, right at the wink of blue.

F) They carved rollicking frolicked swirls, and rested sipping tepid cola, pausing now and then to sharpen the deft blades on delicately oiled stone.

C) The center square bolt seemed to hold the whole roof together. And it watched the horses prance all Sunday--the rain loud, deafening, as mouths spoke silently.

B) At first the elders, the natural sidewalk superintendents, gathered with hands in and out pockets, lifting faded caps, scratching their heads. And they quipped jokes as the trans world monorail formed: now only spools of tautly strung guide wires and defiant, huge spans of steel.

A) I thought you said there were fish over here?
The august judges are just now waking, rattling papers, sending out for espresso and apple fritters. You still have time to get those captions in!
A. "All right - WHO PUT VASELINE ON THE ROMAINE LETTUCE???"

B. "But are you SURE it will repel UFOs?"

C. Teddy and Nick needed a roof for their tree house and didn't think Dad would miss the shed wall.

D. "Yuk. This sandwich sucks."

E. "You CAN'T change the channel, Denny - it's a WINDOW."

F. "I didn't say it needs WOODWORK. I asked you IF IT WOULD WORK."

G. Edgar would finally be famous for his rare find of Gulliver's chain mail armor.

H. "Quick, Agnes! Put out the fire, the igloo's melting!"

I. "Good morning. The Customer Complaint window is now open."
A. The Fireworks that Summer were wrong. Just wrong. Then the apacolypse happened.

B. The Berklee School of Dyslexic Music.

C. I hate it when both of them go on forever with those vows!

D. I should never have pecked up that last Jello Shot!

E. Well, this makes up for the bad food.

F. This just doesn't go with experimental acid rock!

G. In his dream, he had a great promotion. But the office was horrible!

H. Sarah Palin's brain showed signs of advanced megalomentia.

I. Bob Dylan wins the Grammy for "Yellow mesquite and a hole in the sky!"

J. Coyote's back and we will never let her go again!
I remember this! What fun! OK, it's time to make some people groan.

A. Dale Chihuly's infant projectile vomit was a sign of his future calling.

B. Philippe Petit's High Wire Speed Course has been cancelled.

C. Leepin Larry's new gazebo roof, in a retro-shade of aqua (suggested to him by his contractor, Trig Palin).

D. "Wow! A human foot fossil from the Petroleum Age!"

E. Sunset from Leaning Tower of Pisa.

F. OCD: Before the blank screen, there was a blank ceiling.

G. Bring some string and a pack of gum!

H. "Mood Indigo"amoeba-style

I. "And now, a word from our sponsor..."
Aha! With all this talk of potential malfeasance among the Supremes, the august judges are on their honor and motivated to do an uncommon job of adjudicating these fine entries. Keep them coming!
A. Who'll stop the rain?
B. Buzzkill
C. Although the wanderers did not yet know it, they had stumbled upon a Time Transporter.
D. Cockels on the half-shell, bartender!
E. Moody Blue Sunset
F. Better than Being Flat Baroque
G. And Somewhere Beneath the Stage, my Biggest Fan
H. No, Mr. Bill, No!
I. When the Desert Cools, He's as Inviting as Sin. But He's a Deceiver, that Sonora, and He Wants to Burn You.
F.
A. Quaker State's First Sponsored Entry in the Westminster Dog Show
B. Mouse trap by Wile E. Coyote - SUPER GENIUS!
C. Is Everything Coming to an End?
D. Beak Job - Check. Feathers in Place? Check. All the Tuna are gonna Melt!
E. Docile Dread
F. Plate of dried oatmeal discovered during house demolition in Omaha fetches $4200 on eBay!
G. Can't a Guy Get Some Privacy for Gawd's Sake?
H. Mystic Pasta
I. We're first over the landing site, but the Starbucks down there is packed!

Fun. R
A. Geez honey, when was your last wax appointment?
B. Dammit, this system is wired all wrong. I put in a call to the wireless support beam.
C. That reminds me. Did you pack my truss?
D. I definitely should have skipped that last drink. (or)
D. I'm Jonathan Narcissus Seagull. I don't know who that other guy is.
E. Honey, I'm sure this is the right way. He said left at the stairway to heaven.
F. Uhhh baaaarf, I never should have eaten all that rococo.
G. Now THAT'S what I call a back-scratcher.
H. Honorable mention in the pumpkin carving contest
I. I told you there was a hole in the ozone layer! ~ Al Gore

COS - who are the February judges? those August people just need to stick to their own month.
There's nothing like a caption contest of yours to bring Bill S. out of his cave.

I think the B&W is the abstract icicle photo.
B Beam me up Scotty!

C. The cat doesn't look particularly happy this morning

G. You're grating on my last nerve, Alice

H. Dick: I think I might be going blind, Jane!
Jane: Take that stupid hair net off your face you idiot
The august ones are slipping into their stately robes, preparing to do the difficult task of judging whose cuisine reigns su--- no, judging the high quality captioning that has been rendered here.

Don't forget the added challenge of figuring out which of the images in "Snow News is Good News" is black and white! There will be recognition and a prize!
A. Dale Chihuly has lost his sense of direction.
B. I'm electrified!
C. Feeling a bit peaked
D. Hey, where's the "all you can eat" buffet?
E. Airborne peace
F. Beauty in wood
G. This day really grates on my nerves.
H. Is there any color but blue in here?
I. Roswell, Roswell, wherefore art thou?
The ballots have been tabulated. Stay tuned for winners!
Abby, great entry in D.

Bill, you missed your chance to call it a Bug-Eyed-Monster Zapper in B. Good entry anyway. I liked your winning entry in C, too. And your unselected answer in A, about the hair gell, was also good.

CZ, good (if unselected) answer on 9 [I]. :)

designanator, I had to stare at that answer in H for a long time just to parse it, but I did like it. Btw, originally I didn't catch the “underwater” in there and I was imagining blue cleaning gunk like toilet bowl cleaner being poured over a dome. That was priceless, even if in error.

OE, I couldn't interpret your answer in E, but it sounded so sad.

Rich, I liked your E answer a lot. I might have put it above OE's if I could have understood that one. As it is, I'll have to assume OE won on grounds of mysteriousness. One is always supposed to infer greatness in that one cannot understand; it's why I try to be incoherent as often as I can.

J.P., I don't know how you just got an honorable mention in G. That answer was another great one.

xenon, I really liked your answer in A.

I'm recusing myself from commenting on F, by the way, to show Clarence Thomas how that's done.
Sorry I missed this, but don't think I could have topped any. What clever people we know!
I love these, it gets folks thinking and gets the creative juices flowing.

Congrats to all the winners, I loved the entries on this one. Kent, many thanks!

COS, you da bomb. You always manage to come up with such interesting photos in these. Thanks for once again hosting this contest.

I wish I could rate more than once.
COS-Kent

Appreciate the HM and also thank you for the presentation of an ambitious, beautifully photographed template.
Big fun to learn tangential reactions. I'm reminded of Rorschach "...(who) studied under the eminent psychiatrist Eugene Bleuler who had taught Carl Jung."*
Fascinating!
* (paraphrased, Wikipedia, encyclopedia)
It was a challenge to pick out that one grayscale image. Winter snow images often have a very subtle overall tone of blue or green. Sometimes it shows in the snow, sometimes in the shadow areas. The image above was the only one of evergreens that showed no hint of green among the branches. All the other images had some subtle hint of a color cast.
Great contest, I enjoyed reading the captions.
rated with love