Cheshire County, New Hampshire, United States
June 02
On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics. --Richard Feynman


MAY 25, 2009 3:12PM

NOW WITH WINNERS!!! CoyoteOldStyle’s May Caption Contest

Rate: 21 Flag

With a nod to Open Salon’s slogan You make the headlines, on my page,
You Make the Captions!

Last month, we had a lot of fun with CoyoteOldStyle’s April’s End Photo Caption Contest. Today I’m offering for your captioning pleasure some new “interesting” images. Reminding you once again that you must bear in mind the gravitas of the ancient Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times,” I present you budding photo weenies with the latest new and improved incarnation of CoyoteOldStyle’s “Mother-May-I Photo?” Caption Contest.

Write some creative, pithy, thought-provoking, silly, happy, sad or descriptive captions and indicate which photo they are for. The ever-popular panel of august judges are back from rehab another weighty assignment and will be adjudicating the winners. Because of the Monday Memorial Day holiday, I will update this page with the winning captions on Wednesday. Have at it and have fun!

 copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle  


Winner: I became tired of shoveling dirt so now I am forking dirt. (designanator)

Runner-up: One less mole messin up my yard. (Steve Arney)

Honorable Mention: Cmon, Coyote. Bros before hoes! (Esse Est Percipi)  Victor, the august judges asked me to tell you that the garden implement in the photo is a spading fork, it is not a hoe.

copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle  


Winner: The close up of the Discombobulator 5000 shows that it still does not have the required part. (odetteroulette)

Runner-up: Even Republican desks are crooked. (Kind of Blue)

Honorable Mention: Delta-Tango to Tower. Were coming in hot! (Rich Banks)

copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle  


Winner: Paula Deen: “Burnt waffle? Ya’ll jes’ spread on plenty of butter and they’ll never know.” (lifehalflived)

Runner-up: The new “Waffle Flu” virus causes enormous weight gain. (zumalicious)

Honorable Mention: Sadly, worker bee Frank Ackerman left a candle burning in his cubicle with disastrous results. (dcvdickens)

copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle  


Winner: God is a Sox fan (hatchetface)

Runner-up: The bride’s family would have nothing to do with the inlaws. (junk1)

Honorable Mention: I thought we were going to see Neil Diamond? (Michael Rodgers)

copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle  


Winner: love’s kindness (hyblaen-Julie)

Runner-up: Why Impressionism Exists (hatchetface)

Honorable Mention: Stunning photographic evidence of an alleged third dimension that co-resides with ours, and a possible framework from which to prove the validity of “swing theory” (not pictured). (Kent Pitman)

copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle 


Winner: “Martha, I’m going to draw these shades. Those folks in that open salon across the way keep looking at us...” (Kent Pitman)

Runner-up: “The window that has the Christmas Tree shape in it. That's the apartment where the Editor's Picks are all made!” (cartouche)

Honorable Mention: The Human Steppe (Robin Sneed)

Factoid Award: neilpaul correctly identified this building as the Hyatt Hotel in Cambridge, Massachusetts. His special award is that he does not have to reprise the five years he worked there!

copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle  


Winner: All that’s left of Margie’s corsage after Margie caught Jimmy dancing with Carol (odetteroulette)

Runner-up: After the wedding. (fingerlakeswanderer)

Honorable Mention: Memories of a windy day (gmgaston)

copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle 


Winner: Capt. Kirk’s condom. (BuffyW)

Runner-up: Billy Mayes Zit Preserver!™ Act now and we’ll... (bbd)

Honorable Mention: Space-age, light-weight diaphragm recalled after complaints. (angrymom)

copyright (c) 2009 CoyoteOldStyle


Winner: Mommy, you said you wanted a bigger diamond. So I buried it right here so it would grow. (fingerlakeswanderer)

Runner-up: The day I found out I’m allergic to grass (neilpaul)

Honorable Mention: rabbits run too fast (JHart)

If you enjoyed playing this game, please don’t forget to “rate” it.

Photos Copyright © 2009  CoyoteOldStyle.  All Rights Reserved.

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I'm terrible at these but...

c. "The new 'Waffle Flu' virus causes enormous weight gain.
COS, always nice to see a new post here with another photo caption contest. A few left me speechless, so I went with the four that I could identify.

A. I became tired of shoveling dirt so now I am forking dirt.

B. Product shot of the new Knoll modular office desk taken by drunken photographer.

C. A waffle found at the scene of a IHOP gun battle.

H. A shuttlecock used in a new game called 'radioactive badminton.'
A. On the set of Land of the Giants: one end of child's necklace stuck in the dirt.

B. Opening do-it-yourself Tardis kit ordered from Amazon.

C. Recent MRI imagery of Obama's brain as it attempts to reconcile his campaign promises with current actions.

D. “If you photograph it, they will move out of the way.”

E. Stunning photographic evidence of an alleged third dimension that co-resides with ours, and a possible framework from which to prove the validity of “swing theory” (not pictured).

F. “Martha, I'm going to draw these shades. Those folks in that open salon across the way keep looking at us...”

G. Remnants of Nature's own ticker tape parade, remembering its own that have fallen on the cement battlefield.

H. Rare X-ray view of Jelly fish consuming a jujube.

I. Sometimes, as a child reminds us, a field of grass is just a field of grass.
these are challenging! it's gonna take me a while, but i should have some decent captions well before wednesday:)
The panel of august judges, here to demonstrate once again their inimitable capacity for fair play, are pleased to see so many early entries in the caption contest. So far, they are behaving themselves. Be sure to come back and enter captions for the ones you are still thinking about.
a. The Devil made me do it.
b. Which box is yours?
c. Quit yer waffling.
d. I told you not to eat the chili dog!
h Damn, that racquet has speed.

Stumped for the rest, but great fun!
I I wanna hold your hand...
A. When asked to explain "Digg" one too many times, BBE sent this photo as a response along with the words "Monkey Fingered".

B. I forgot why I bought the microwave, until I had an idea to move it.

C. Ye another reason the Waffle House girl got thrown off of "Hell's Kitchen".

D. $48.50 for these seas and I can't even SEE the players scratching their balls or spitting? I want my money back.

E. This tree has allergy season written all over it. Hachoo!

F. "The window that has the Christmas Tree shape in it. That's the apartment where the Editor's Picks are all made!"

G. Pink trash.

H. My most recent mammogram.

I suck at this, but can I get honorable mention for weighing in relatively early? ;)

You are getting tougher on us each time! Great photos, COS!
Correction: On "D" it should have read, "$48.5o for these SEATS?"
A. For times like these, four tines like this

B. The shadow of the blue dimension

C. a. Carbon nanotubes. It’s what’s for breakfast!
b. Toaster fallout
c. Jesus? Mary? Elvis?

D. God is a Sox fan

E. Why Impressionism exists

F. The North face of Mt. Arrogance

G. A shrine to the patron saint of masons

H. a. Space-shuttle-cock during reentry
b. Ionospheric badminton

I. New growth reaches out
A. Satan was here.
B. This microwave comes with the optional time travel option.
C. Might be time to clean the waffle iron.
D. Oh Ump! Any idiot can see he was out! I could see it from here! Hey beerman. Another beer, over here.
E. Sensory overload for a bee.
F. Apartment 3B wants to be the first to put up their Christmas tree-in July.
G. After the wedding.
H. Lorraine's eyeball during a cluster headache attack. In a metal cage, and trying to burst out of the front of my face.
I. Mommy, you said you wanted a bigger diamond. So I buried it right here so it would grow.
A- The highly anticipated Polish Shovel was launched with a minor design flaw.

B- Don't look up and it won't bother you.

C- Once again, the drones at Honeybee Central, could not grasp the concept of a hexagon.

D-I thought we were going to see NEIL Diamond?

E- Honeybee Heaven.

F- This what happens when your son-in-law joins the Architectural firm.

G- So that's where wedding flower petal come from.

H- OS proves time travel is possible.

I- God working his miracles with his fat little hands.
I don't have any entries tonight, but I love H! The Aliens from Style Nebula, maybe.
A. There is still no sign of the rest of the hand ...
B. The close up of the Discombobulator 5000 shows that it still does not have the required part
C. Dead Ants: It's what's for breakfast.
D. Fan Attendance has been down since what is now known as "The Corndog Incident"
E. A Photo of the tree known locally as "The Spring Killer" its flowers are beautiful but deadly
F. Meet the ghost of the Hotel Le Steps
G. All that's left of Margie's corsage after Margie caught Jimmy dancing with Carol
H. This Erotic Toy Has It All!
I. Summer
I just went past the judges' chambers and heard guffaws that I don't think were alcohol related. Must be some early favorites in these.

They did pass me a note for Rich Banks that says he's got at least 24 hours to create captions for the rest of the photos and to -- let me see if I can make this scribbling out -- stop being so darned lazy. Yeah, I think that's what it says.
A. C'mon, Coyote. Bros before hoes!
I hope that picture is actually of a hoe, otherwise I feel incredibly obtuse right now :)
I showed these to my husband, so here are his entries:

a. A hoe in the ground.
b. Phone home.
c. Chanel style.
d. “Get the number of that Scalper!”
e. Washington: Black is the new pink.
f. Bart Simpson’s timeshare.
g. “Get me the number of the janitor.”
h. Capt. Kirk’s condom.
i. “Quick, pull the van up.”
A-There's got to be a better tool for this!
B-Although it did keep the house warm, the solar panels left no room for the family
C-The cubicles were developing a strange, sugary mold that stuck to everything, everywhere.
D-The crowd parted to allow new visitors to beam down on the solar rays.
D-The bride's family would have nothing to do with the inlaws.
E-A blanket of pink to keep me warm
F-The Legos were bigger and better lately
G-Someone will have to talk to the bushes about the littering!
H-The jellyfish was charged with anger when he lost his tentacles
I-A child's hand with stained fingers, reached from the heavens to the earth, and made green the dry grass.A child will heal the Earth!
A]. revolution postponed

B]. geeze did you see those new Walmart desktops?!

C]. little boxes little boxes filled with ticky tocky
A. Fork this shit
B. Allan Parsons Project-or
C. Where's Jesus?™
D. Whoa, the sun does shine out of Manny's ass.
E. Cherry I See Ya™
F. I found Jesus!
G. Alone in Kyoto
H. Billy Mayes Zit Preserver!™ Act now and we'll...
I. The Creation of Grass...Who Needs Adam?
D] the men's room is *where*?

E] close the sunroof!

F] Gonna fly now

G] pick cherry by day-eat cherry pie at night

H] You left the duck tape where? He yelled at her, slamming the safe room door

I] rabbits run too fast
Oh dear, the Hoho truck is circling the block . . .
potatoes for the new year
technology framework
the cubicals were getting sad and lonely during this current downturn in the economy
(can't think of one of this pic)
love's kindness
human ant hill
the remains of spring
ants go in, but they don't come out
summer wishes
A. Fork it Over
B. Delta-Tango to Tower. We're coming in hot!
C. Vac-u-form Meets E-Z-Bake Oven
D. 7th Inning Squint
E. Cherry Baby
F. What Tom Wolfe Warned Us About
G. Virginity Lost (Yes, I'd Stoop to That)
H. Style Nebula (as Seen from the Hubble)
I. Reaching for Spring's Green Fingers
The august judges are still asleep, but I've been reading over the submissions here and these captions are creative, pithy, thought-provoking, silly, happy, sad or descriptive. Keep them coming!
Two more entries here:

F. "It's embarrassing that you still have the Christmas tree in the window and it's the end of May!"

H. Bush and Cheney having just escaped from The Hague are shown making their lunar descent aboard "Moonraper One."
A. Till the Devil turns the soil red.

B. Even Republican desks are crooked.

C. What do Republicans call Barack Obama? Chocolate Waffle

D. The Official John McCain Fan Section

E. Pink Eye

F. Ruth Madoff's New Digs

G. Pink Eye Pedal Death

H. Eye See A Web Of Deceit

I. The Quest For Green Starts Early
C. "Sadly, worker bee Frank Ackerman left a candle burning in his cubicle with disastrous results."
The august panel of judges requested that I remind one and all that the prizes will not be awarded until Wednesday. Enter early and often. Make their decisions even more difficult!
I would vote for designanator on C. but offer this:

Suddenly, it occurred to SamJoe that the waffle looked a lot like his teeth.
And A:

One less mole messin' up my yard.
A. Fork in the Road
B. Spoken
C. Cublicles in Capitalism
D. On Spec
E. Southern Comfort
F. The Human Steppe
G. Hangover
H. Smack
I. High

Now, I must begin plying the judges with my special drinks, imported strippers, and fast drives in antique cars....
Oh dear, Robin, I'm so glad you showed up. Minding the judges is a lot of work and it's nap time for me! Don't drive those antiques too fast, or the cars either.
I've never done this before but I'll give it a try.
A. No, I said we were forking in the back yard.
B. I know that's a pretty shade of blue but, for god sake, put it back on the side of the road where you found it.
C. Paula Deen: "Burnt waffle? Ya'll jes' spread on plenty of butter and they'll never know."
D. I told you to take beano after that chili.
E. Bubba, put that chainsaw away. What do you mean, commie, pink-o tree?
F. Stairway To Heaven-ly Penthouse Apartment For Sale $3M
G. Weeping for the ignorance of man.
H. Combination contraception device and tip tingler.
I. Take my hand and teach me to live.
For what it's worth.
WHERE is Bill S?? computer on vacation, logging in on 'strange' machine for an OS fix. Mentally on vacation w/o computer too. Bill, what's your excuse? Great Pix C -- harder than the last and I got my 'fix' w/ responses. Sorry I'm too lazy to play this wk, besides the judges are in process as I type and have to be on their 3rd - 4th round already. Tequilla again?
I've peeked in on the judges who seem to be sleeping EXTREMELY soundly. Robin must have taken GOOD care of them.

And yes, where IS Bill S.?

There are only hours left in this month's contest. These photos are tougher to caption, but I know that OS has great minds who will crack the problem and come up with creative, pithy, thought-provoking, silly, happy, sad or descriptive solutions!

The august judges are growing increasingly restless. It's time for them to be locked in their chambers so that they may deliberate.
COS – this was one hard group of pictures!

A. It went a lot faster when I used a shovel to dig.
B. “Double Feature” at the Drive-in movies
C. Wish I ordered the pancakes instead!
D. That last foul ball took out most of the ‘peanut gallery’
E. Pink – The natural color of Spring
F. Perfect scale for the new world order
G. Memories of a windy day
H. After repairing the Hubble Telescope, they realize they forgot to talk the safety sticker off the new lens.
I. Keep your little dirty paws off my grass!

H. Space-age, light-weight diaphragm recalled after complaints.
That's it! No more submissions! The august judges have retired to their plush, but not overly ostentatious, chambers. With any luck, the strippers and Dr Pepper consumption, not to mention the case of Hohos I glimpsed on the side table, will result in highly accurate results and swift justice!

Good luck to all!
I. After months of training with Master Yoda, the very young Padawan was able to effortlessly lift the refrigerator high off the ground (and out of frame of the photo) and even to restore the state of the mashed-down grass from beneath it to an upright position.
angrymom, looks more like one of those mosquito zappers, with the electrified design... a sperm zapper? Perhaps it would even be recommended by the church as adequately holey for regular use.
Oh my. It looks like the contestants are getting restless. I'll tiptoe over to the door of the judges' chambers and see what's taking them so long . . .
Congratulations to everyone who won and thank you to everyone who participated. I hope that all of you had a great time and that those of you who stopped by to read were amused, delighted or moved.

Writing captions isn't easy. One has to let the image and the audience both guide them in making a short piece of writing that carries a lot of information. I think there were 25 OS-ers up to the challenge this month. I hope to see even more next time . . .

if there is a next time.
COS, nice to see who the judges picked and I look forward to the next contest!
Heheheh. Can we play again??!!!
Kudos to the winners!!!!! Wow, you got a lot of entrants this time. PLEASE keep these coming, they are SO much fun!
Rated for all the winners and N, the biggest winner of them all, and Michael Rogers, the biggest wiener of them all!!! :-D
See, I told you I was gonna feel stupid ;D
Thank you! Thank you very much!! hee hee I loved this. Let's do it again!!
I am so honoured! Love you, girl....xox