Cork's Award Winning Blog
- July 27
- Former TV on air critic dude, full time freelance writer and author, who for decades earned his living primarily with his sense of humor. Now in the Blogosphere, and playwright in Hollywood area. Lifetime honors include seven Emmys, two kids who are not messed up and the same wife he started out with. You may twit with him at “OldCootCork” befriend him as “John Pesky Corcoran” or Linked in with John "The Cork" Corcoran.
MY RECENT POSTS
- The Rug Guy Cometh (No, This
is not a Porn)
December 04, 2013 05:41PM
- Top 10 Most Suckworthy Sides
Ever Served with Turkey Bird
November 25, 2013 11:43AM
- Your Teeth Are Fine but Your
Gums Gotta Go
November 20, 2013 05:30PM
- Shocking! “Gravity” Gives
Up Its Secrets Second Time
November 14, 2013 12:57PM
- VETERAN: Can’t Place the
Name but the Fate is Familiar
November 11, 2013 10:02AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “First of all ignore
Marilyn. She was dropped on
her head as a
child, and then,
December 04, 2013 05:34PM
- “I have dedicated all my
books to veteran character
Simmons. Still he
December 04, 2013 05:27PM
- “Thanks for the funny
memories. I remember when I
was a kid, I
once got an
November 14, 2013 04:50PM
- “I'll have to get back to
you. I've started a
campaign to raise
November 14, 2013 02:33PM
- “I gotta stop posting
before I read stuff. You
November 14, 2013 02:28PM
OldCootCork Corcoran's Links
I’m knocking this out waiting for The Rug Guy to arriveth. According to the Missus, this is Mission One in getting things spiffed up before the Holidays.
The Rug Guy is a generic term for whoever cleans our carpets. He drives a truck filled with massive sucking devices, tubs/… Read full post »
When I was in the military, I had all four of my wisdom teeth yanked by a civil engineer posing as a dentist. He used a Roto-rooter and a backhoe to operate. It hurt like hell. It hurt worse than hell. It hurt like giving childbirth in Hell.
Had… Read full post »
Is Gravity so nice, you must see it twice? If so, do you race out to theaters before it makes way for the Christmas onslaught or catch it on DVD after it scores its predicted haul of Academy Award nominations?
I couldn’t delay—a blank page waits for no one—and af… Read full post »
My roommate at Air Force ROTC summer camp in Myrtle Beach, SC, was the coolest guy with the worst name I'd ever met. His name was Dick Butt. Yeah, I know. Never learned if his folks were naïve or pranksters.
He was a Southern gentleman and a natural born leader.… Read full post »
I’m exhausted. The trick or treat candy is out the door, my iGoogle is gone, and Daylight Saving Time’s change looms before me. I can’t remember the memory prompt. Which direction? Do I “Spring back,” “Fall down” or just whoopsis in my grandfath… Read full post »
(As this is written, the Government is still shut down—including National Parks. The author visited Joshua Tree National Park in California’s Mojave Desert shortly before it was closed.)
Translating FemSpeak into English is my life’s work. Everything else is a hobby. It appears, sadly, my days will run out long before a complete translation of this mysterious female lingo is completed.
FemSpeak is a language fraught with innuendo, hidden meaning and tripmines. It is the only l… Read full post »
Yeah yeah, I know. Airport jokes have been done to death. But hear me out and learn why I never want to set foot in an airliner again...
Saturday morning a friend and I flipped a coin. The winner got to choose between a Howler Monkey extracting his molars with a salad… Read full post »
Earlier this week a beloved family member went Kablooey in the kitchen. Guts were spilled on the floor. The smell of decay was in the air.
We tried everything. Even “Extraordinary Measures,” but could not save this life
We called in experts--skilled practitioners not afraid to… Read full post »
I, the undersigned (the “Canceller”), do hereby notify all and sundry that the anniversary of Canceller’s birth (the “Event”), uusually recognized on this day, is hereby, herewith, forthwith, frithfroth, and irrevocably cancelled.
Stated reason for cancellat… Read full post »
I’m a Playwright. In the world of the written word, writing for theater is the classiest of endeavors. It is the artistic equivalent of a Bugatti Veyron. Sophisticated, stylish, impressive. And like the Bugatti it’s a lovely way to drive yourself to the poorhouse. In tru/… Read full post »
I am a member of a number of internet-based Writer’s Groups--which I joined for solidarity and writing tips--and humor groups, which I joined to hang with fellow manic-depressives.
Here’s what I have learned over the years from them:
Stop writing memoirs! Just stop it. Or if you m… Read full post »
Pretty Boy Brad Pitt says in the current Esquire Magazine that he thinks he has “Face Blindness.” To borrow a Memorial Day phrase: “Gentlemen, start your Snark Engines.” What the heck is Face Blindness? And who cares? And doesn’t Pitt have a purported stink bom… Read full post »
There I was all alone with the guy in the magical suit. People were trying to unmake his day.
It wasn’t the first time I’ve seen a projected movie alone. But that was as a film critic and at a screening room, often on a movie lot. I had never… Read full post »
There was a guy on the roof somewhere. We think he might have done it.
A “commentator” on Fox tweeted that the Muslims did it. He suggests an appropriate punishment would be killing them all. If Fox has fired him, they’ve done it quietly.
Time to change… Read full post »
We all have those “what if?” moments in our lives where we wonder what if the breaks had gone the other way--might we be better off today? Short of proving the Many Worlds Interpretation of Quantum Physics, we’ll never know. But sometimes we learn late in life that perhaps the/… Read full post »
The Author worked the Red Carpet and covered the Academy Awards as a Television reporter for some fifteen years.
Is Argo a very good movie? You betcha. Is it one for the ages, or even better than some of the other nominees? Not such a sure bet.
But it… Read full post »
Getting older doesn’t have to be all bad. Take me, for instance, and a lot of people wish you would. I have turned four age-related Negatives into one Positive and created an exciting new talent for Physical Comedy.
The former Four Horsemen of My Apocalypse are: Clumsiness, Depleted Shor/… Read full post »
OldCootCork Corcoran's Favorites