Editor’s Note: At the start of this grand experiment called my blog, I promised you excerpts from my new novel “Hot Wings & Rug Burns”. After dealing with limitations (read: formatting restrictions), I figured out how much of a pain releasing full chapters would be. But fear not, my novel is riddled with lists (and hopefully funny ones). I thought I would start sharing those with you at the very least. Just keep in mind, these things were written in character! 

I thought you might be interested in another list. Here are the top athlete names of all time regardless of the sport or their rate of success. The only rules: you have to be American (since some foreign names just sound funny simply because they’re foreign). And you can’t change your name, therefore World B. Free was eliminated from the competition. 

9) Rollie Fingers – Major League pitcher. This was a close call between him and another major leaguer Coco Crisp. I give Rawley the edge because of his handlebar mustache. Handlebar mustaches always win as far as I’m concerned. 

8) Razor Shines – Played for the Montreal Expos. I don’t know anything else about him besides he has one of the sweetest names ever. 

7) Jarvis Redwine – Ex-Vikings running back. A name so cool, I borrowed half of it for a character in one of my stories. 

6) Mookie Blaylock – NBA point guard. And the original name for the band Pearl Jam. That’s good enough for me. 

5) Buster Rhymes – Another ex-Viking. A kickoff return specialist for them, and the inspiration for rapper Busta Rhymes’ name. The original Buster was quoted after he was drafted, “Minnesota, Ohio – I hear it’s a great place to play.” My high school football coach, and history teacher gave us an annual geography test in honor of Buster, so we would never say something to embarrass him if we ever got drafted. 

4) Oil Can Boyd – Red Sox pitcher. Quite good too, but was involved in the tragic ’86 season. Not his fault, but he was there. 

3) Baskerville Holmes – Memphis basketball player. Came from a family of twenty-three kids. You have to respect the parents for being so clever. His story turns tragic, so I’ll try to keep it light. 

2) Sonny Sixkiller – Quarterback for the University of Washington. Played some in the CFL and World Football League, but never really caught on in the NFL. Also had a pretty good role in the Butch Reynolds masterpiece “The Longest Yard”. 

1) Xrey Hipp – Maryland college basketball player. The name speaks for itself. 

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