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Coolhand Jones

Coolhand Jones
Location
Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
Birthday
January 26
Title
Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes Lodge No. 26
Company
LDR Entertainment
Bio
I was born in a log cabin in Walla Walla, Wash. I won the Scripps-Howard National Spelling Bee at age 10, and the World Series of Poker at 15. After inventing Pizza Rolls, I tried my luck in the Internet boom of the '90s. Sadly, there was no real need for on-demand futon upholstery. After going bankrupt, I successfully graduated from Marquette University with a degree in journalism. I have held positions as a chimney sweep, international man of mystery, Elvis impersonator, and original gangsta. In my spare time, I enjoy full-scale re-enactments of the War of 1812; collecting potato chips that resemble 20th century magicians; distilling vinegar; interstate racing - Cannonball Run style; spelunking in the caves of Borneo, and taunting the Swiss. I also believe it's entirely possible that I’m the sole heir to the Jim Morrison estate. I vehemently deny rumors linking him to It-Girl Pia Zadora and I am looking forward to my impending eating disorder that will couple my obnoxiously, overbearing fame - which will be immediately followed by my “E! True Hollywood Story.” I also like bunny rabbits.

MY RECENT POSTS

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SEPTEMBER 28, 2010 11:24AM

The 100 Greatest Music Artists of All Time!

VH-1 recently completed their second go-around on ranking the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. The list is a subjective conglomeration of more than 60 artists’ opinions (both legendary and contemporary), who exactly are the greatest rock ‘n’ roll figures of all time. Like I said, tRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 24, 2010 5:14PM

10 Things I “Know” I Think

Editor’s Note: We here at Pop Kult Boom are all for giving fair credit where credit is due. Peter King (one of our favs) writes a weekly NFL column for Sports Illustrated. He concludes each column with “10 Things I Think I Think”. We here at PKB are just a littleRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 24, 2010 5:10PM

Band Names #13

By Coolhand Jones 

Editor’s Note: With our sincere apologies to Dave Barry who runs his on-going list in his own column, we truly thought this was our original idea. That being said, it’s too good not to inadvertently steal. 

· Pop Tards

· Celebrity Nose JobsRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 22, 2010 10:50AM

The Best Sports Names of All Time

Editor’s Note: At the start of this grand experiment called my blog, I promised you excerpts from my new novel “Hot Wings & Rug Burns”. After dealing with limitations (read: formatting restrictions), I figured out how much of a pain releasing full chapters would be. But fear notRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 21, 2010 3:35PM

My Favorite Ladies in History

Editor’s Note: At the start of this grand experiment called my blog, I promised you excerpts from my new novel “Hot Wings & Rug Burns”. After dealing with limitations (read: formatting restrictions), I figured out how much of a pain releasing full chapters would be. But fear notRead full post »

Editor’s Note: We’re counting down the best films of the 2000s decade from 250 all the way to 1. A new film will be added every few days for your reading pleasure. Please be sure to check this blog for other entries. Thanks – MGMT 

2003 – Directed by: Steve Anderson;Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 18, 2010 1:05PM

Jokey Smurf #12

Franks & Beans 

#1 

A woman is working as a teller at a bank when a man wearing a mask and holding a gun bursts through the front door. He storms over to where she’s working and produces a glass full of semen.

He thrusts the glass in her face andRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 17, 2010 4:00PM

10 Things I “Know” I Think

Editor’s Note: We here at Pop Kult Boom are all for giving fair credit where credit is due. Peter King (one of our favs) writes a weekly NFL column for Sports Illustrated. He concludes each column with “10 Things I Think I Think”. We here at PKB are just a littleRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 16, 2010 2:50PM

188) Walk the Line

Editor’s Note: We’re counting down the best films of the 2000s decade from 250 all the way to 1. A new film will be added every few days for your reading pleasure. Please be sure to check this blog for other entries. Thanks – MGMT 

2005 – Directed by: James Mangold;Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 14, 2010 6:04PM

The 75 Best American TV Characters Ever!

No icons like Superman, Mickey Mouse, or Flash Gordon (you get the idea) that existed somewhere else were included on this list. The characters had to exist on TV and then from there, create their own path. No “reality” show people are a part of this list. Kim Kardashian isn’t aRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 14, 2010 4:48PM

KUNG FU[n] Entry Nine

Editor’s Note: this is a metaphorical entry, no celebrities will actually be harmed in this department, but we wanted to get out some of our aggression out by nominating someone in the public eye that really deserves to be punched in the throat. 

VN1 

Vince Neil for the followingRead full post »

Editor’s Note: We’re counting down the best films of the 2000s decade from 250 all the way to 1. A new film will be added every few days for your reading pleasure. Please be sure to check this blog for other entries. Thanks – MGMT 

2004 – Directed by: Edgar Wright;Read full post »

Editor’s Note: We’re counting down the best films of the 2000s decade from 250 all the way to 1. A new film will be added every few days for your reading pleasure. Please be sure to check this blog for other entries. Thanks – MGMT 

2006 – Directed by: Marc Forster;Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 11, 2010 3:31PM

D-Bag Hall of Fame #3

Editor’s Note: On an occasional basis, we here at Pop Kult Boom will select an entry into the only Hall of Fame no one truly wants to be a part of. No, don’t get us wrong, that’s not to say that every single entry didn’t earn his inclusion in one wayRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 11, 2010 3:27PM

Band Names #13

Editor’s Note: With our sincere apologies to Dave Barry who runs his on-going list in his own column, we truly thought this was our original idea. That being said, it’s too good not to inadvertently steal. 

· Dawn Artist

· Flintstone’s Fossil

·&nbRead full post »

Editor’s Note: We’re counting down the best films of the 2000s decade from 250 all the way to 1. A new film will be added every few days for your reading pleasure. Please be sure to check this blog for other entries. Thanks – MGMT 

2009 – Directed by: Neill Blomkamp;Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 10, 2010 12:33PM

10 Things I "Know" I Think

Editor’s Note: We here at Pop Kult Boom are all for giving fair credit where credit is due. Peter King (one of our favs) writes a weekly NFL column for Sports Illustrated. He concludes each column with “10 Things I Think I Think”. We here at PKB are just a littleRead full post »

Hollywood produces as many icons as it does films. Unfortunately, these silver screen heroes are frequently limited to the stars in front of the camera and not the true artists behind the lens. There are a few men that transcend not only the films they create, but the very lives thatRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 6, 2010 12:20PM

Orange Crush – Celebrity Style Vol. 3

Editor’s Note: On a regular basis (read – monthly or whenever we get around to it), we the editors at Pop Kult Boom will feature an up and coming talent that we just can’t get out of our heads. We know you’re aware of the big stars like Jennifer Aniston andRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 6, 2010 12:11PM

Hodgepodge Entry #12

Editor’s Note: That’s what “Jeopardy” calls it and we’ve always been fond of the name. This department will consist of poems and song lyrics, there might be more that falls under this umbrella later – but like the Constitution, this blog is a living, breathing docuRead full post »

Editor’s Note: We’re counting down the best films of the 2000s decade from 250 all the way to 1. A new film will be added every few days for your reading pleasure. Please be sure to check this blog for other entries. Thanks – MGMT 

2007 – Directed by: Judd Apatow;Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 4, 2010 12:59PM

Jokey Smurf #11

Randoms 

#1 

An eager encyclopedia salesman knocks on the door of a suburban home. He is greeted by an overweight, balding loudmouth in a bathrobe. Before the salesman can even open his mouth, the loudmouth berates him using every colorful and expletive word in the book for having the audacRead full post »

Editor’s Note: We’re counting down the best films of the 2000s decade from 250 all the way to 1. A new film will be added every few days for your reading pleasure. Please be sure to check this blog for other entries. Thanks – MGMT 

2006 – Directed by: Joe Carnahan;Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 3, 2010 4:14PM

10 Things I “Know” I Think

Editor’s Note: We here at Pop Kult Boom are all for giving fair credit where credit is due. Peter King (one of our favs) writes a weekly NFL column for Sports Illustrated. He concludes each column with “10 Things I Think I Think”. We here at PKB are just a littleRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 2, 2010 3:57PM

Band Names #12

Editor’s Note: With our sincere apologies to Dave Barry who runs his on-going list in his own column, we truly thought this was our original idea. That being said, it’s too good not to inadvertently steal. 

· Honeysuckle Froze

· Sharkcoffin

· BeefRead full post »

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