The Thing From Bloggy Swamp

Suffering is overrated. Bill Veeck

Con Chapman

Con Chapman
Location
Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Birthday
September 28
Bio
. . . is the author of over forty books of humor available in print and Kindle format on amazon.com.

          For the first time in half a century, Vatican administrative staff will be required to clock in for work as part of a clampdown on slackers. 

                &nbs
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           Federal agents are warning leaders at top universities to be on the lookout for foreign spies or potential terrorists trying to steal their research. Read full post »

I've noticed a trend recently.  The East Coast newspapers I read, such as The New York Times and The Boston Globe, have taken to lecturing ordinary schmoes like me on a regular basis that things we believe to be self-evidently true are in fact false--when you look at them in the sort

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MAY 15, 2012 8:18AM

Five First Date No-No's

So you've recovered from your last affair, and are ready to re-enter the dating scene.  As any astronaut will tell you, re-entry is the most treacherous part of the job, with temperatures reaching several hundred degrees Celsius even before you get back to your place.  Here are a

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MAY 14, 2012 8:46PM

At the Repo Man's Christmas Ball



It was the depths of a recession,
And real estate prices had fallen.
Some contractors were overextended
And their creditors were callin’.

Me? I was just doing my job
Arranging for repossessions
Of cranes and ‘dozers and backhoes and such
By gun-for-hire Hessians.

One was a guy… Read full post »

Today’s top business story:  Bruno Michel Iksil, a trader nicknamed the “London Whale,” may have caused J.P. Morgan Chase to lose $2.3 billion.  This makes the $1.3 billion that Nick Leeson cost England’s Barings in 1995 look like pocket change.


“S

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MAY 14, 2012 9:07AM

A Jar of Salsa in Southie

I came upon a jar in Southie,
With salsa was it filled.
It sat within a sidewalk square,
A centerpiece on a table bare.

The barren land fell all away
and left it there in low relief.
The jar was round upon the ground
and sat alone beside D Street.

I was on a

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Every year, there are fewer banks because of bank failures, industry consolidation and Japanese movie monsters such as Godzilla, who go on rampages and crush small to medium-sized community lenders.  As a result, consumers are increasingly at a disadvantage in their search for pens ch

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MAY 13, 2012 12:28PM

Me and Mad Dog at the Ballet



Saturday night in Boston, and my boyhood friend Mad Dog is in town. Normally I take such an opportunity for a guy's night out at one of Beantown's four major league sports venues, but this time Mrs. Dog is with him, and my wife has put

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MAY 12, 2012 9:59AM

Don Byas, Master of the Sexophone



Don Byas, the tenor who forms the bridge that links the swing and bebop eras, used to say "I don't play the saxophone--I play the sexophone.

You can understand his transliteration if you believe that the greater part of that basic human function is gentle seduction, and not just rocking… Read full post »

ANN ARBOR, Michigan.  Republican presidential candidate Willard "Mitt" Romney today denied that he was the father of the Massachusetts law that gave birth to a universal health measure known as "Romneycare," saying "I never met that bill before in my life."


"Talk to that guy ov

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     In an experiment at MIT mice fed yogurt as compared to junk food developed luxuriantly thicker fur and bigger testicles that they projected outwards, giving them an air of “mouse swagger.”

            &nbRead full post »

AGAWAM, Mass.  For Rich Cseko, a lawyer whose practice is concentrated in business aviation, a typical day at the office finds him surrounded by wealthy clients as he caters to their personal transportation needs.  “These people are too busy to fly commercial,” he says as

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If you were hit, dear, by a truck,

And I were left without you-

I wonder then who I would, er,

Sorry--let me start over.

I wonder up with whom I'd end

Among our unwed female friends.


 

 



There is the woman nicknamed "Midge"

Who meets with friends for contract… Read full post »

Portable crappers, and phat gangsta rappers
Overdressed lawyers, who think that they’re dapper
Blonde second wives who are festooned with bling-
These are a few of my least favorite things.

New SUVs that my teenage son crashes
Posh window treatments with jabots and sashes.
Pant legs that st

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UPTON, Mass.  Twelve-year-old Jennifer Goshecki would like to have a Facebook account, but her mother Julie doesn’t think she’s ready.  “Why should I expose her to millions of dirty old men on the internet,” she asks rhetorically.  “We’ve

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WAUMSFORD, Ill.  First it was airplane glue, says Duane Lee Hoskins, manager of the Wal-Mart store here.  "Kids would buy that stuff then show up to Friday night football games all demented," he recalls grimly.  "It made for some pretty weak cheering by the pep club."


2011

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     Leroy “Satchel” Paige was committed as a 12-year-old to the Alabama Reform School for Juvenile Negro Law-Breakers.

“If You WereRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 6, 2012 11:15AM

Why Do I Love Him So? He's a Logical Positivist!

         

          A.J. Ayer, founder of the Logical Positivist school of philosophy, had so many love affairs “you quickly lose count.”

amazon.com.uk review of A.J. Ayer: A LifeRead full post »



They enter slowly in twos, pairs of kids and cattle.
Once in the center of the ring the auctioneer begins his call,
and one of them knows that this will be all.

The buyers and lookers on stare and see only the other and
how much meat it holds on its bones—they bid… Read full post »

MAY 5, 2012 11:21AM

The Killer Who Sang for Kids

Imagine, if you can, a record producer coming to his boss with an idea for a new album; a collection of children’s songs by a black man who has been imprisoned several times, once for killing a relative in a fight over a woman, a second time for attempted murder of… Read full post »