The Thing From Bloggy Swamp
Con Chapman
- Location
- Boston, Massachusetts, US of A
- Birthday
- September 28
- Bio
- . . . is a frequent contributor to The Boston Herald, Cronk News, Fictionique and Punchnel's.
MY RECENT POSTS
- Pigeons Have Copied Your Brain
June 19, 2013 09:32PM - Help--My Friends Are Making Me
Fat!
June 19, 2013 08:00AM - Odd Couple Fights Lonely
Battle Against Grade Inflation
June 18, 2013 11:15AM - Bud Zaremba, Knuckle Baller
and Practical Joker, Dead at
86
June 18, 2013 08:18AM - Walter Bujkowski, Father of
Shovel Pass, Dead at 97
June 17, 2013 09:32PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “I wish Coughlin had done
as well at BC as he's done
with the
Giants.”
11:31AM - “I wish I could "Like"
that comment, as on Facebook.
You can
eat all
th…”
11:30AM - “I'll have to listen to
football comes to the
University of
Chicago. They
had jus…”
11:19AM - “Actually for marketing
purposes you probably don't
want to
put the plague up
fron…”
10:57AM - “In our town it's a
crisis if there are more than
twenty kids
in a classroom.
My…”
10:26AM
Con Chapman's Links
A Ballad About Caesar Salads
Today, I am moved to write a ballad
about the sorry state of “Caesar” salads.
If you order one of these babies in a typical joint
you’ll get something to eat that misses the point.
There’s nothing exotic about the ingredients
upon which Caesar mavens like to feedient.
The… Read full post »
You Can Keep Your Glow-in-the-Dark Sheep
The Animal Reproduction Institute of Uruguay has produced a genetically altered lamb that glows under ultraviolet light.
Raymond Myles: The Baddest Gospel Singer You Never Heard Of
Gospel is the embarrassing country cousin of the contemporary music business. Yes, it’s related–common paternity is clear; much of what we know of as rock and soul wouldn’t exist without gospel roots. On the white side, Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis and other rockabilly pioneers got th… Read full post »
Sex Change Operation
(A cappella doowopissimo, moderato)
First voice:
Oh-oh I, I’m so lonesome and blue—
Second voice:
Tell me why . . .
First voice:
That’s just what I’ll do—
I had a girl, and I loved her so true
On cloudy days, she turned my grey skies to blue.
Second… Read full post »
Happy National Hairball Awareness Day
It's Friday, a day to “work from home”–or so I told my boss. There's just me and two cats, Rocco and Okie, three sullen males grunting their way through the day–as usual–while the wife’s running errands.
Rocco: “You insensitive clod!”… Read full post »
Philosopher or Rodeo Queen: Which Career is Right for You?
It wasn’t that long ago–in geological terms–that I came to a fork in the road in my career path. I’d graduated from college with a degree in philosophy, but faced an uncertain future. All the graduate students in philosophy that I encountered didn’t seem to do much of… Read full post »
New Singles Group Brings Dental Hygiene Fanatics Together
BOSTON. This city with its many colleges and universities is a mecca for young men and women looking for that special someone to spend the rest of their lives with. “I’m having a blast with my single friends right now,” says Caitlin Morgan, a senior at Boston University,… Read full post »
The Gin and Tonic: An Endangered Species
Last summer I noticed a failing that became chronic:
No one anymore knows how to make a gin and tonic.
It’s really quite simple if you have the right
ingredients
and don’t resort to shortcuts as a matter of expedience.
For tonic, don’t give me that stuff out of the squirt
gun.
I… Read full post »
Billy Strayhorn: A Short, Gay and Lush Life of Beauty
In December of 1938 a short, bespectacled young man of twenty-three persuaded a friend of a friend to arrange for him to meet Duke Ellington, the jazz pianist and composer whose orchestra was in Pittsburgh for a performance. After hearing the young man--Billy Strayhorn--play a few songs on the piano… Read full post »
Writer's Block? Get Nacreous!
If you’re a writer, or if you want to be a writer, you’ve probably suffered from writer’s block. Consider Henry Roth, to take just one famous example.
Henry Roth
In 1934, when he was 28, Roth’s novel Call It Sleep was published. It didn’t do
… Read full post »Ask Mr. Car Person
Is your car making a funny sound? Does it give off a bad smell? Ask Mr. Car Person for help, and as soon as he gets the grease off his hands, he’ll type out an answer to your question.
Dear Mr. Car Person–
My husband “Carl” is a… Read full post »
Rat Pack the Subject of New Pop-Cult Philosophy Curriculum
There's Nothing Rougher Than a Genteel Crowd
It’s springtime, which means that across America, crowds are filling auditoriums with the sound of their voices, yelling loudly–sometimes angrily–as they watch young people crash into each other. I’m not talking about the NCAA Basketball Tournament. I&rs
… Read full post »Life Sucks--And Then You Die
If
you think that there’s hope
At the
end of your rope
And
you’re willing to give one more try.
You
imagine a time
When all
will be sublime
And
there’s never a tear in your
eye—
Well
forget it pal and go home and have a
cry—
‘Cause
life
Fear of Female Security Guards
I Don't Want to Be Your Friend
I’ve got lots of friends already
like Trish and Todd and Eddy
We often go out after work for drinks,
But when I ask if you can come along
They say . . . he kind of stinks.
So before I put on my jeans
For an evening with you
You need to work on your… Read full post »
Honky-Tonk Jesus
Is there
room in your heart for Honky-Tonk Jesus?
When our
souls have grown cold, his love will unfreeze
us.
So put
down your beers and open your ears
Make a
place in your life for Honky-Tonk Jesus.
You women
who’ve wandered, you women who’ve
strayed,
You
The Parallel World of the Tango
I did not recall why or from where I had clipped the article on Carlos Gardel, Argentina’s–and the world’s–best-known and most beloved tango vocalist, so when I found it in my desk drawer it touched off a massive man-hunt through my memory.
Had there been a time in my… Read full post »
Reading to Cats Program Disbanded for Lack of Interest
NEWTON UPPER HILLS, Mass. This suburb to the west of Boston boasts a highly-educated population with a love of reading, as well as a large population of dogs. “We’re not called the Garden City for nothing,” says Amy Zuckerman with a smile, as her Lhasa Apso “Dylan
… Read full post »Let's Pursue Justice Before Forgiveness
Sons of the Idle Rich
The
market’s up, the market’s down
It
doesn’t matter which . . .
With
stocks and bonds and puts and calls
In just
the proper mix.
You’re
clipping coupons, cashing checks
Without a
single hitch . . .
Sons of
the I-dle Ri-ich.
You’ve got enough to… Read full post »
Myrna Flick, Esq.--Chief Law Firm Sustainability Officder
As I turned on the Energy Star-qualified fluorescent lights in my office and looked at my desk, I had a momentary moment of self-doubt. Another day, another skirmish in the ongoing war to implement sustainable business practices at Sherman, Frost & Whittle, LLP. Yes, our offices… Read full post »
Art Van Stiffel, Deciduous Tree Lawyer
Don Miguel Quesadilla, Disgraced Notary Public
&n… Read full post »
Ballet Twister
“You’re not going to try and stay up late with us, are you?” my wife said apropos of a little soiree we were having for her ballet friends Saturday night. “You need your rest for the work week,” she said, her face a veritable picture postcard of concern.
&ld… Read full post »
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littlewillie
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Matt Paust
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