The Thing From Bloggy Swamp

"Music is real--the rest is scenery." Fats Waller

Con Chapman

Con Chapman
Location
Boston, Massachusetts, US of A
Birthday
September 28
Bio
. . . is the author of over fifty books--some with paper!--available on amazon.com and elsewhere.

OCTOBER 28, 2014 8:05AM

Your Work-Life Advisor

Balancing your life and your work can be difficult.  If you don’t work, you probably won’t eat, in which case you will die and won’t have any life!  On the other hand, you can work so much you won’t have a life even while you’re living.  Your Wor… Read full post »

OCTOBER 27, 2014 8:32PM

The Rhino's Got to Go

Director John Huston’s third wife gave him an ultimatum after his pet chimpanzee smashed her perfume bottles and defecated in her dresser drawers; he had to choose between her and the chimp. Huston chose the chimp.… Read full post »
OCTOBER 27, 2014 8:04AM

Jimi Hendrix at the Supreme Court

What about Jimi Hendrix?

    Question by Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts during oral argument in a copyright case. 

COURT CRIER:  Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! All persons having business before the Honorable, the Supreme Court of the United States, are admonish… Read full post »

OCTOBER 26, 2014 3:57PM

The Maple Leaf Club

Grandpa Ollie took me downtown,
me in short pants, him I seem to
recall in a short-sleeved white shirt
and long grey slacks in the summertime.
I hoped to get a toy out of it.

We walked all the way to Main Street,
then took a right. He wanted to see
something, and we stopped in… Read full post »

Do you wake up early just because you miss your favorite Peace Cereal product? Do you ever wish lunch or dinner was really a big bowl of Peace Cereal? Do you have a pet named after your favorite Peace Cereal?

We think this is normal behavior and understandRead full post »

OCTOBER 25, 2014 11:55AM

Day in Sun Shadows His Twilight Years

NEW YORK. Mel Sewanicki, Columbia class of ’47, still can’t buy a drink in this town even though it’s been sixty-seven years since he made “The Catch,” a diving grab of a fourth-quarter pass that enabled the Lions to defeat Army, 21-20, ending the Cadets’ 32-game u… Read full post »

OCTOBER 24, 2014 9:13AM

Barbie Hits the Double Nickel

2014 is Barbie’s 55th anniversary.

 

I looked out the window of my Dream House and allowed myself a teensy-tiny moment of reflection.  How far I’d come in fifty-five years!  It seemed like only yesterday I was born, fully-developed, in a secret test lab deep within the… Read full post »

WASHINGTON, D.C.  Bowing to pressure from the Obama administration, Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg announced today that she will step down from the Supreme Court next year in order to pursue her interest in air guitar.


Ginsburg:  “I didn’t bring my air guitar withRead full post »

OCTOBER 23, 2014 7:50AM

Fake Your Way With Biz Cliches

If you want to get ahead in business, it is not enough to be intelligent, hard-working, and decisive.  The Great Plains of Commerce are littered with the corpses of men and women who possess these qualities, and who were nonetheless stung to death by a swarm of buzzwords.


“. . .
Read full post »

BIRMINGHAM, Alabama. Charles Barkley’s revelation that he’s lost $10 million gambling over the years has led to an outpouring of support in his hometown, where locals point to the good he’s done for numerous charities.


Barkley

“He’s one of our biggest supporters,&… Read full post »

EVANSVILLE, Ill.  Beth Dennis, a slim, 44 year-old mother of two, is dressed in surgical scrubs this morning, but she’s not a doctor or a nurse.  “Neil was there for me when I delivered the kids,” she says of her husband, “and I want to be with him all the way… Read full post »

WASHINGTON.  The World Series begins tonight in Kansas City, but today lawyers stepped to the plate facing a different team of nine; the members of the U.S. Supreme Court, who heard arguments on a legal issue that tears the nation apart every October:  Does the Constitution p… Read full post »

OCTOBER 20, 2014 4:11PM

Monkeying Around With My Money

Scientists are studying monkeys for clues on human financial behavior.

The Boston Globe

It was time, I figured, to bite the banana.  My brokerage statement from Simian Financial Advisors had been lying on my desk for a week, staring at me in silent reproach.  At some point I’d hav… Read full post »

NEW YORK.  The runaway success of Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat, Pray, Love” has, according to The New York Times Book Review, spawned a mini-industry of spin-off titles including the forthcoming “Eat, Pray, Whine” by her former husband and “Eat, Pray, Floss”… Read full post »

OCTOBER 19, 2014 12:07PM

With Robert Frost, at Wal-Mart

Derry, New Hampshire town officials are considering zoning changes that would permit strip malls, fast-food outlets and big-box stores to be built a short distance from Robert Frost’s farm.

The Boston Globe


Frost
Read full post »

OCTOBER 18, 2014 12:42PM

A Day in the Life of a Vatican Sales Rep

For the first time in half a century, Vatican administrative staff will be required to clock in for work as part of a clampdown on slackers.

Bloomberg News


“Have you considered our get-out-of-Purgatory free extended warranty coverage?”

It was three o’clock, and I had to admit… Read full post »

OCTOBER 17, 2014 1:58PM

Among Dead Alewives

We walked among dead alewives
on the beach, you and me.
I think we both knew then
it wasn’t meant to be.

In Chicago, where the prairie ends
at water’s edge, the sawbellies
swim until the water runs out.
“They call them mooneyes, too,” you said.

On the shore of… Read full post »

NEEDHAM, Massachusetts.  Bob Brenson has been a high school guidance counselor for nearly twenty years, but a comment by a member of last spring’s graduating class made him rethink his approach.


“You kids can do anything you set your minds to.  Assuming you have mind
Read full post »

BOSTON.  As the plenary session of the American Association of Librarians annual convention wound down here yesterday afternoon, the long faces some attendees wore were not the result of dog-eared pages or overdue books.


Boston
Convention and Exhibition Center

 

“What hap… Read full post »

LAKE FOREST, Il.  Chuck Schwermer is a 52-year old unmarried video game aficionado who writes code for Aviatrix Technology, a leading maker of air traffic control software.  “It’s not a job that exercises the full range of my intelligence,” he says, “but it sustains… Read full post »

STOCKHOLM, Sweden.  Three American housewives will share this year’s Nobel Prize in Home Economics in recognition of innovations they contributed to traditional recipes.


Hageboom:  “I wish Darrell would get that dang vibrator fixed!”

 

Pamela Hageboom of St. Cl… Read full post »

OCTOBER 13, 2014 9:10PM

The Woman Who Sang Sinatra

We had just the one date
but it was a doozy,
me and the brown-eyed woman named Julie.
She was fun, she was late,
but she wasn’t a floozy,
and I want you to know that I loved her truly.

I got in her car
and we hadn’t gone far
when she punched her tape deck… Read full post »

OCTOBER 13, 2014 6:14PM

Probably for the Best

When I heard the news it came as a sting, but a muted one; like realizing there was a mosquito on your arm only by the slight irritation the bite such a pest is capable of.

That anticlimactic feeling was caused by the fact that we had all known Rob and… Read full post »