The Thing From Bloggy Swamp
Con Chapman
- Location
- Boston, Massachusetts, US of A
- Birthday
- September 28
- Bio
- . . . is a frequent contributor to The Boston Herald, Cronk News, Fictionique and Punchnel's.
MY RECENT POSTS
- Students of Today Demand More
Relevant Commencement Awards
May 20, 2013 11:29AM - A Day in Court at the Bureau
of Erotic Dancing Disputes
May 19, 2013 08:56PM - Trochees and Spondees, A-Live,
A-Live Oh
May 19, 2013 11:43AM - Pink Tights, Tu-tus, and
Schmaltzy Music
May 18, 2013 11:43AM - The Maximum Security Book
Group
May 17, 2013 09:34AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Congratulations--both on
the reading and on the
audience.
I've happened on
readi…”
12:08PM - “I've eaten those quahogs
before and "brilliant" isn't
the
word that
com…”
6:26AM - “That's almost as bad as
the woman in one of my wife's
former
groups who would
dis…”
May 17, 2013 02:49PM - “Drinking wine and riding
a bike--two of my
favorite
activities but I
think I prob…”
May 17, 2013 10:21AM - “There's a floating
women's poker game at my law
firm, which
may be the
exception…”
May 17, 2013 09:27AM
Con Chapman's Links
- MY LINKS
- Amazon's Con Chapman Page
- conchapman.com
Myrna Flick, Esq.--Chief Law Firm Sustainability Officder
As I turned on the Energy Star-qualified fluorescent lights in my office and looked at my desk, I had a momentary moment of self-doubt. Another day, another skirmish in the ongoing war to implement sustainable business practices at Sherman, Frost & Whittle, LLP. Yes, our offices… Read full post »
Art Van Stiffel, Deciduous Tree Lawyer
Don Miguel Quesadilla, Disgraced Notary Public
&n… Read full post »
Ballet Twister
“You’re not going to try and stay up late with us, are you?” my wife said apropos of a little soiree we were having for her ballet friends Saturday night. “You need your rest for the work week,” she said, her face a veritable picture postcard of concern.
&ld… Read full post »
The Gertrude Stein Look-Alike Contest
We’re getting up in years, we few forthright men who
revealed to each other that we wanted to write back in our
youth. It takes a lot for a guy to open himself up that way
to another man.
Is it Ed, or Gertrude?
China Wants Your Teen RomCom Badminton Bigfoot Movie!
Fictional friends who I make up to move the plot of blog posts along often ask me, “How do you handle the daily rejection you have to live with as a failed writer? How do you keep going after getting kicked in the gut day after day?”
“You’re going out… Read full post »
Jonathan Winters: An Appreciation
It is safe to say that without Jonathan Winters, there would be no Robin Williams.
Why? Because Williams himself said so. The two comedians’ style is often described as “madcap,” but that’s a euphemism. A more accurate diagnosis would be “bipolar,” a
… Read full post »The Dancers of Degas
Edgar Degas is known for his paintings of dancers, the best of which depict the female form doing everything but dancing; stretching, relaxing, tying on toe shoes, primping, aching from the rigors of the ballet. It is as if he were more interested in the idle moments of women who… Read full post »
Spice Up Your Marriage With Role-Playing!
Unless you’re one of those organisms like the bdelloid rotifer that gave up sex forty million years ago because of their kids’ early-morning hockey games, sexual intercourse is an essential element of your marriage. As Sigmund Freud once said, “Sex is the oil-and-lube jo
… Read full post »Madd About Tadd
Tadley Ewing Peake “Tadd” Dameron once described himself as “the most misplaced musician in the business,” and one needn’t call the missing persons bureau of the jazz precincts to determine that he may have been right.
Tadd Dameron
An unabashed romantic in a guild… Read full post »
Pahk Your Kahma in Hahvahd Yahd
&nbs… Read full post »
Physics Confab Marred by Water Balloon, Silly String Fights
Why Boston Taxis Are Expensive--And Scarce
Among the Big-Headed People
My son once gave me as a present a “one-size fits all” New England Patriots throwback hat.
It was a nice gesture, but hopelessly misguided. I was able to use the occasion as a “teaching moment.” The three big lies of our time, I told him, are ”The check’s i… Read full post »
Me and Baldesar Castiglione Talk Sarcasm
It's Sunday night and I'm waiting to meet Baldesar Castiglione, author of The Book of the Courtier, before I have to face another long week of work. I haven't told him exactly what the problem is, but he's agreed to time travel from the 16th century
… Read full post »Your Guide to Boston Sports Landmarks
Opening Day at Fenway Park! Gosh it brings back memories. For those who are new to Boston or just visiting, here’s a handy pocket guide to some “must see” landmarks in one of America’s great sports towns.
Lake Placid, New York. It was here that the
No Exclamation Needed
I’m afraid I’m going to have to throw out of this
joint
Everybody who uses the exclamation point.
It’s the punctuation mark that’s too enthusiastic,
Whose use marks the user as something of a spastic.
It’s the typographical equivalent of an importunate
dog
Tha
My Former Ocelot
I
used to
have an ocelot
I loved
him lots, that ocelot;
I made
him up a special cot
To sleep
by me, that ocelot.
I raised
him right, that ocelot—
We drank
3.2 beer but did NOT smoke pot.
He’d
laugh at all my lame bon… Read full post »
The Better I Knew Her, the Less I Liked Her
I thought that she’d be perfect—
I thought that she’d be fine.
I thought we’d be in love forever—
I thought that she’d be mine.
But as I looked into her eyes
She told me—she liked to pull wings off flies.
The better I knew her—
The less I lik… Read full post »
Say Something Nice to Your Wife Tonight (Even if It's True)
(a jump blues in the manner of Louis Jordan)
Say something nice to your wife tonight—
Even if it hurts.
Say something nice to your wife tonight
Or you won’t like your just desserts.
When she asks “Does this skirt make me look
fat?”
Just say “You look lovely&mdash… Read full post »
These Are a Few of My Least Favorite Things
Portable crappers, and phat gangsta rappers,
Overdressed lawyers, who think that they're dapper,
Blonde second wives who are festooned with bling--
These are a few of my least favorite things.
New SUVs that my teenage son crashes,
Posh window treatments with jabots and sashes,
Pant legs that st… Read full post »
I Have This Thing for Funny Girls
I have this thing for funny girls.
I know I shouldn’t, but there it is.
If she makes me laugh, she’s worth the world.
I care not whether her hair is curled
or pressed quite straight, what brings me bliss?
I have this thing for funny girls.
I don’t care if she wears… Read full post »
Spring Cleaning for Poets
Spring comes late in New England, so we're behind the rest of the country when it comes to spring cleaning. I tackled the garage Saturday, we did the patio and the backyard Sunday, and as we finished up my better half made the sort of helpful suggestion that always casts a
Neighborhood Schools Make Better Schools, and Neighborhoods
Do You Need a Professional Tax Bisexual?
Twitter “tweet” from “professional bisexual” Tila Tequila
It’s that… Read full post »
Con Chapman's Favorites
Don Rich
Ken Honeywell
noah tawls
littlewillie
Damon E Walters
Matt PaustUpdates
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Liberals Face Obama Scandals
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Thanksgiving Turkeys,Public Choice Theory & IRS v Teabagger
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Kind of Blue
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Bombs don't kill and maim people, people kill people.
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The Latest "News"
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hope springs
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#ThatIsRape: FAQs to Help Keep You Off The Sex Offender List
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Pop Chosen by Vatican - Mt. Dew to Replace Altar Wine
Salon.com