It's a phrase I've heard more often than I care to admit lately, "You know, I'm seeing more and more people just like you these days," which at one point might have been comforting, but over time it's just started to feel patronizing, and truthfully, just not that helpful. I guess none of us like to suffer alone. We all want to be unique and different at the top, but at the bottom, we want to have lots of company.

Though the economy on many fronts seems to be officially "over" somehow a lot of us just aren't feeling the love. Thus when people first said to me "You know, I'm seeing more and more people just like you these days," I took it in stride, maybe it was a little comforting. Maybe the first time or two there was some solace there, a feeling that this wasn't all my fault, that I was at least part of some recognized demographic. That at least I was being trendy.

The first time I heard it was probably at the unemployment office, some 2 years ago now. Talking to other middle managers. Talking about our company's plights the lay-offs, the cut backs, how we had had to escort long-term employees out with their belongings, not thinking it would happen to us.

The next time I heard that phrase, it was probably working with my headhunters and employment agencies. We were talking about how hard it is for mid/upper managers to find work. How someone at my age, with all my experience was just too expensive these days. How in my field though I'd taken on more and more responsibility, moved up in management, on the hands-on stuff, the skill set had changed. It was going to be hard for me to move back down the ladder. How employers looking for menial jobs didn't want to touch anyone with management experience because they'd be difficult to "manage." How there was always someone younger, hungrier, more willing to work 50-60 hour work weeks.

Then there was my mortgage, I watched the clock ticking month after month, thinking surely a job would come through. I was getting interviews, they were going well. I had several offers only to see jobs melt away. One company was sold, one company went under, a couple put the position on "hold" until their next fiscal year. One company called to actually tell me "We think you're great, you have the job... We're just not sure when we can give you a start date." So eventually I had to deal with the bank, fortunately I was able to work out a program that keeps me limping along month-to-month, barely scraping by, ebaying and yardselling to meet the payment just in time each month.

The first time I heard that "You know..." where it was really wearing thin was when I was visiting the free clinic for a nagging cough. My insurance had never been great and my co pays horrific, so on my budget I had to decide to go off some maintenance meds, or pay my premiums. I kept my insurance, thinking with a pre-existing I had to guard that at all costs. Also thinking that surely I'd get work in a couple of weeks, couple of months, max. Then finally my COBRA runs out and I don't have meds or insurance. Thus my free clinic visit. Where I was told I had advanced pneumonia and they put me right into an ambulance to rush me to the hospital.

Just recently, I finally hit my breaking point. Falling into a pattern of stress, high blood pressure, sleep deprivation, anxiety and depression. I arranged to see a psychiatrist and set up some regular counseling. The Dr. seemed very sympathetic but I could tell he'd heard my sad story before. Sure enough You know, I'm seeing more and more people just like you these days." To which without even missing a beat, I found myself looking right at him, "Dr. I know that's supposed to make me feel better, but it just doesn't work anymore. "