(Photo courtesy of clker.com clip art/Bing)
My daughter is 10 years old and just completed 4th grade at a progressive, private school in Los Angeles. Lately, I’ve been astounded to see how many of her classmates have their own Facebook pages.
My first encounter with kids on Facebook happened a year ago when one of the boys in my daughter’s class sent me a “friend” request on Facebook. He was 9 years old. I’m Facebook “friends” with his dad, so I accepted the request, not remembering that Facebook has a rule that a person has to be at least 13 years old use the social media network. A few months later, a friend of mine posted something very personal and upsetting about issues her son was dealing with. Uncomfortable with a 9 year old seeing this, I called his dad and explained that I would be “de-friending” him. I later found out this classmate of my daughter’s was bragging to her and other kids at school that he was on my Facebook page. I had unknowingly embarrassed my daughter.
Needless to say, my daughter doesn’t have a Facebook page. But, a bunch of her classmates do and their parents think it’s really cool. They allow their kids to “friend” adults, who, without wanting to hurt their feelings, accept the “friend” request.
A mom friend called me recently to say that one of her son’s 5th grade classmates was her Facebook “friend” and was telling everyone at school about her posts—pictures of her son. Her son was being ridiculed at school and stopped allowing his mom to take any photos of him, fearing she’d post them on Facebook. I suggested she “de-friend” this kid after calling his mom.
I have no interest in being Facebook “friends” with kids! Why do some parents think it’s acceptable to allow their elementary schoolers to “friend” grown-ups? Do they think this makes their kids trend-setting hipsters? Are they trying to accelerate their kid’s march into tweendom? Do their kids Tweet too?
I like the digital age, smart technology and the zillions of gadgets out there and so do my kids. My daughter has email—she can email a list of approved friends-- and they both have iPads.
But, my kids will need to wait to have a Facebook page and when they do, they won’t be “friending” grown-ups. I’m not worried about the “cool” factor. They’ll be on Facebook when I think they’re ready for the responsibility, whether they think I’m being a “cool mom” or not.
Facebook is a fun place for me to connect with friends, post photos and share moments without worrying about the rumor mill at my kids school the next day!
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HUGGGGGGGGGGGG
To give you an example of how drastically things have changed over recent time: We raised our son in Moraga, CA, a relatively small San Francisco suburb. He had a gang of friends who I would often find hanging out in my refrigerator. These "kids" are now grown men. One of them, one of my son's best buddies, is now a successful Hollywood photographer and the two of them remain close. I had no second thoughts at all when he sent me a Friend Request. But yesterday, when he sent me a private message starting with "Hey, Lezlie," I was taken aback. The fact that he is past 40, married and the father of two kids did not change his status as "one of the kids" in my mind one bit! lol Of course, I'm over it and it's fine, but these boundaries do die hard and I think with good reason.
Lezlie
1) I reply to the kid that I have a "no kid zone" policy on my facebook page. I just don't accept kids.
2) Go to account settings and privacy. Selectively Block the kids from seeing your wall, photos, and updates. They will still be on your friend list, but they won't be able to see anything except maybe your Information page.
*sigh* sometimes I hate the internet.
What? :D
Seriously, I think kids can have a Facebook page but, as been said, with their parents' knowledge(and have them as a friend!!). A friend of mine has created her daughter a page, Mama controls everything, including password and it's mostly so kid can play the games on there.
Thanks for bringing up the issue. Rated.
I don't understand why some folks share what they share in the first place - share things you don't want a kid to see? Why? It's still cyberspace and most should know by now that cyberspace is NOT the last bastion of privacy ;).
I also don't see anything wrong with accepting a friend request from a kid - I imagine I've probably got kids as friends, lots of kids own dogs, and dog owners are the majority of my FB contacts ;). And yeah, that's right, I don't personally know way better than half of the 'friends', the friend thing, from what I can tell is more or less just a game of numbers and who can gather the most.
Meh.
Rated for cyber as social curiosity.
Isn't it hard enough to be a child in our ever growing violent school system without the added pressure of facebook?
Parents shouldn't show pictures of their kids unless they privatize them. Sure we want bragging rights, but put those kids in a private family album. No nude or even swimsuit pics.
What's wrong with these people? Children rely on their parents for protection.
My sister did not care that her two boys were on the net all the time. I begged her. I showed her the content of what they were viewing. She told me to mind my own business. Now they are both dead. One at 16 and two years later the second at 18.
Kids are being plucked off of streets and out of their beds by perverts who know exactly where, when and what name these children have.
When I was in school we got in trouble if we were spotted at the Orpheum theatre watching a rated film.
If any of these kids are bringing below an A in any of their classes, they should be grounded off of Facebook and any place else that is deterring them from study.
The schools should review children who are learning below recommened level and advise the parents of these kids that they shoul not be on the net. You can have a direct link to Wikipedia without them heralding a social network.
Hell, if these kids stopped after school to play at an arcade or went to their buddies' houses to screw around rather than do their homework, how long would a parent allow that? Not long. It is the same thing with the net. That is just another place to go instead of home.
Does no-one watch Investigatve reports live sting of sexual predators? Just watch it once. If you have young kids, I promise, you will want to install a black box in your children's skull after seeing the ghastly, disgusting perverts going after 11 and 12 year old boys and girls. I promise! One of them actually said he saw a picture of the boy he was trolling in a swimsuit picture.
Facebook should be ashamed. I am going to start policing my blog, facebook page and any other place that shows kids and if needbe I will boycott
Why would your friend post something very personal and upsetting about her son on a public facebook wall?? That's the person I would defriend.
Honestly. de-friending makes some sense. Odds are, if they friended you, it was about quantity and not quality...so the odds of them noticing you are gone is slim...and you are the adult...so you must be right.....right????
Actually...heck if I know...but I'd de-friend asap!
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if i had a child, i would not let them friend adults bc both adults and children need to have the freedom to post as they wish.