I've heard it said by some really smart people that the Democrats and Republicans have more in common than not. How can people say such a thing? Red is so warm and at the base of the color wheel, while blue is so cold and reflects an entirely distinct wave length. Blue is in fact the antithetical end of red from a optometrilogical view and I think the neck ties sported by the left prove my point. I mean where do they shop, these Mother *&$%ing liberals? Another difference I notice is the distinct manner in which each group lies. A republican pundit will stick by his story even when the evidence is a dead body next to his smoking gun. If the official story was "death by drowning" well that's what it is regardless of inconvenient media gossip like a warm smoking gun in their clammy little paws. A democrat has the good sense to just change his story to fit the news. I mean, if the cause of death was drowning, and I am holding a smoking gun, why not just explain that the swim meet held here always has a judge with a gun to start the competition? The truth is that, well, things just got a little messy and he be dead, sorry Mr. Economy. He did have life insurance, right?

 

Then there is the issue of those who support taxes and those who support their package with a really well made athletic supporter. The tax happy liberals are really just without endowment and trying to cleverly wave a mirror in front of smoke so that their wives don't tell everyone just how very unimpressive their man is when the lights go down, while those first string players we call, conservatives, are actually just big dicks. They would rather that the government stopped telling them to, "put that thing away and just get on with it." On with what exactly I am not sure, but I agree with the liberal media, put that thing away.

 

Penis envy aside, what else do the Dems share with the Old Guard?Real estate, they share the same business complex.  They don't just work in the same office building but at the federal level, our legislators share the same room for God's sake. And God has even become a four letter word replacing Damn in general use, such as when a Senator says to his page, "Damn it, I said to lick not slurp; what in God's name are you doing?" This is a peversion of, "God help me for I have no clue." The God issue is near and dear to every one's heart, especially since the damn broke in the Virginia Valley and God was being invoked to save our banks and guide our responsible men, those who hold the gold.

 

Speaking of gold, the color goes very nicely on a tie as background against little diamond blues and reds. A thoughtfully selected, colorful tie can make the suit, especially if one understands the subtle difference between brilliant gold and piss yellow, day-glow. "Very colorful" here does not mean "to stand out", I mean, there are some rules to good taste, and the suit makes the man even before you check out his shoes. Take Obama for example, he is a well dressed man but hardly colorful. What?

 

So, I see that these groups have much in common, but liberals and conservatives are actually very similar only on the surface. In the political machine that serves the highest level, the captains of industry and finance, they are actually just the same, one big brawling family with no substantial difference, none at all.

 

My choice in salad dressing? Surprise me.