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CatholicGirl
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December 31
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Ghost Writer Extraordinaire
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"I'm the greatest little hoper that ever lived." -Dorothy Parker

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FEBRUARY 26, 2012 2:57PM

Don't Be a Guy...

Rate: 5 Flag

Don't be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man.

                                                        -Say Anything

For better or worse, I let Jason back in for a few hours. Jason was the guy my friend Lacy tried to set me up with about 6 weeks ago. We clicked and the night before our first date, he texted me to let me know he was trying to work things out with his ex. I was so annoyed which led me to ask if anyone was truly single anymore. We went to Brickell and drank like fishes. He stared down my dress which was too low cut to hang out with a guy with a girlfriend. He was so cute and paunchier than I remembered. I laughed a lot and was relaxed despite our strange one week history in January. I remembered why I like him, why I found him adorable. So when I actually saw him in person, he was simply yummy. We went to Green Steet in the Grove. I had been imbibing cokes when we gt there bc I need clarity and I needed to really assess the situation. At the table he texted Stephanie and after yet another trip to the bathroom (I have a squirrel bladder) he moved from sitting next to me on the velvet bench and talked to his girlfriend on the phone. Ouch. Then he said something to Lacy who was not having any of his excuses either. He said he was with her for the great sex, I rolled my eyes. Really? That is the most bullshit excuse in the world. It was barely a good enough exuse in my 20s when I had to hear it from other people. Now, I thought that it was a reason for two dysfunctional people to distract themselves from the fact that they shouldn't be together.

      So last night after battling a  burgeoning cold, I turned my phone on and received a dinner invitation from Lacy and Jason. Did I want to go? Sure, I had spent the day dozing off and working on my young adult novel. But I was wary because Jason had sent me a terse text early in the week. Two Saturdays in a row? Well, we are friends now and friends hang out. With my sniffles, we went to Miracle Mile to eat sushi. This time the pressure was off and I actually enjoyed his company for what it was. We talked about 90s cartoons and people watched. I felt peaceful with him, like the guy friend I never knew I always wanted.

    It has been said time and time again that men and women can't be friends. To that I say don't overanalyze, what do you say?

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I've had gal pals, so it is possible. R
I say it is posh posh . Pure nonsense. Of course you can have a galpal. If there is sexual electricity between them, then, well, that makes for a nice warm presence to be in, and possibilities, and lots of cool hip double ententres and dialogue.

Jason is in it for the great sex, huh? He is stuck in the Flesh Period. We all go through it. then we realize that even the best damn sex in the world, all kinds of athletic splendor , and touch and smell and taste,
Comes, ha,
To an end.
Always.
Always it is two souls facing each other naked.
Literally or figuratively.
Love is in the words we say.
The words others bring out of us.
Love comes in many many forms. Guypal is daring and it has GOT to be done, to cross the abysmal divide between men and women……..still, after 50 yrs of ‘sexual revolution’, we need translators…arg……
I think it's possible. My husband doesn't agree.
I work in a male-dominated field so if I didn't have guy friends I'd be pretty damn lonely. I have lots. And fortunately I have a husband who isn't threatened by it.
It's not that is isn't possible, it is that you wish he was more than your friend. He isn't oblivious, even if he acts like it, but probably wants to keep you around for when the sex doesn't work out. That doesn't mean you aren't likeable. But, no, it sounds like he is offering a platonic crush -ship.
I have plenty of male friends, none of whom I have tried to date, or vice versa. If you already had that chemistry, then you know what you'll be missing out on.
Since Jason is JUST a pal, then ask him to introduce you to some of his single friends.
A man and a woman in a commited relationship should be cautious of having friends of the opposite sex that are not friends to both the man and the woman. It is not uncommon for people to reach out for someone to be "on thier side" when issues arise with a significant other, and this is usually where problems start. Good friends, the kind who don't take sides, are worth their weight in gold.
Say Anything is worth its weight in gold.
Can men and women be friends? I don't really know. I have women friends but I almost always end up reaching for them when things aren't working out with the current Mrs. Or feeling jealous when they're seeing someone. They seem to take that as a given, there's always that air of: when the mood's right, we'll tumble into bed. Man-woman friendship is best left to lonely single people who have absolutely no attraction for each other, I think. But then you almost never choose to be friends with someone who's 'not your type'. Its a tough game.
Thank you for the comments. I never knew there were so many shades to platonic friendship.