Carl Kozlowski

Carl Kozlowski
Pasadena, California, United States
July 26
The Laughing Libertarian
Southland Publishing/Funny Scoop Productions
I'm a standup comic and reporter who was named "America's Funniest Reporter' by The Laugh Factory comedy club. My official website is, where i have well over 100 funny Sedaris-style essays, oddball investigations, and celebrity profiles. You can also buy my book, a spoof of self-help books that has earned raves from Esquire editor/bestselling humor writer AJ Jacobs and superstar comedian Carlos Mencia called "Seize the Day Job! The Humor Book Al-Qaeda Kept You From Reading," there. I am also a spoken-word storyteller on the LA comedy scene and am finishing a book of David Sedaris-style essays. I'm also a co-host of the KABC 790 AM Los Angeles radio show "The Jake, Brant & Carl Show." The essays here represent only MY opinion, not that of anyone else afraid to be associated with free thought.


Carl Kozlowski's Links

 By Carl Kozlowski

Taking a look at the big media picture, and especially among our brethren on the Right such as Fox and Breitbart, it might seem that the biggest story of the year is the Tea Party movement. It's supposed to be indicative of a deep-seated anger among voters,… Read full post »

This is the second of two stories I got to write about TV producer Stephen J. Cannell, who died this week from melanoma. An amazing man.


Telling tales

‘Over-performer’ Stephen J. Cannell takes over mystery book
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Stephen J. Cannell was a man who was larger than life, an iconic presence on TV screens throughout the '70s and '80s. He was a top producer, who sat at a typewriter and flung a sheet of just-completed script into the air at the end of the credits of every

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As one of America’s most popular comedians, George Simmons seemingly has the world on a string. But then one thing happens that can ruin everything: he’s diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and told that even with aggressive experimental treatments, he only has an eight percent chance… Read full post »

We’ve come a long way since tough-guy Humphrey Bogart let Ingrid Bergman away in “Casablanca ,” only to tell another dude, “This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.” Or have we? Today, we’re living in the age of the “bromance,” where guys… Read full post »

AUGUST 14, 2009 8:07PM

Dick Jokes and Decency

By Carl Kozlowski

Quick! Who’s the most morally conservative director in Hollywood?

The answer may surprise you, but it’s none other than Judd Apatow . Yes, the writer-director of “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” “Knocked Up ” and the new film “Funny PeoplRead full post »

Review: ‘Julie & Julia’–Traditional Filmmaking With Traditional Values

by Carl Kozlowski

It’s rare enough these days to see a movie in which one story is well-told, much less two stories. It’s even more rare when a filmmaker is able to balance two completely differe

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AUGUST 14, 2009 7:24PM

DISTRICT 9: Smart and Stupid

by Carl Kozlowski  


Is it possible for a film to be both a brilliant, exciting piece of entertainment, and also a completely illogical piece of heavy-handed political propaganda? It is, if the new science-fiction oddity “District 9” is any indication.

Led by a stunn… Read full post »


 It’s odd to consider which celebrity death will hit you the hardest. Michael Jackson’s bizarre and untimely passing certainly floored people around the planet. But for me, it’s this moRead full post »

Read it and weep, folks. I mean that.

While America drifts ever more into secularity and lack of purpose and belief, those in hardcore Islamic nations are committing atrocities like that listed in… Read full post »

I once spent four hours in the back of a station wagon with Tipper Gore.

The time was 1988 and she had just gotten famous for her crusade for parental advisory stickers on CDs with controversial lyrics. And now Al was making his first run for the White House.… Read full post »

Being in the news business for the last 12 years as a reporter for alternative weeklies, I've seen a lot of weird stories. We cover stuff that the dailies won't touch, or at least touch as if they're wearing lace gloves they're afraid to get dusty. But this morning, I found… Read full post »

Growing up Catholic, I was taught two major things in life: Guilt and forgiveness. They’re two sides of the same coin, actually. The whole feeling guilty about getting into so-called “Trouble” never really registered with me. But on the other hand, I’m often way too forgiving… Read full post »
JANUARY 7, 2009 2:45PM




It’s not often that Hollywood deals with any Christian themes in an intelligent or respectful way. In fact, it seems that often the only times that the mainstream movie industry deals with Christianity at all is to portray its believers as either hypocrites, simpletons o… Read full post »

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

MY BATTLE WITH A GIANT CRAB (minds out of the gutter, we're talking seafood! )

So I was in San Francisco, which you can read more about in the post after this, and was looking for the best damn meals i could find in
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JANUARY 6, 2009 10:28PM


NOTE: This is written partly as satire. While it's based in real events, I'm trying to write in the tone of an overly, easily cowed Midwesterner writing an annoying "here's the news of my life" group letter to a million friends who probably don't want it. You get those every year, you know… Read full post »

9/11 surely has to go down in America's history as one of the worst days in the country's existence - maybe even THE worst.

 Aside from the thousands who died and the thousands or even millions more who knew them, there were surely millions of other tragedies wrought upon us… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 25, 2008 1:59PM

Is he just a bum? Or a woman's beloved father?

It was just after 9 p.m. last Thursday night, and I was walking past the L.A. Farmer’s Market on my way out from The Grove. I noticed a young woman, in her early 20s, standing in the doorway of a darkened optometry shop and calling out to someone who appeared to… Read full post »