Aw, For Heaven's Sake...

Cam Battley

Cam Battley
Rural Ontario, Canada
April 04
Canadian owner of small businesses, small children and large dogs. Scuba diver, hard rock fan, business traveler, industrial-strength irritant.


Cam Battley's Links
Editor’s Pick
JUNE 30, 2010 2:00PM

A Monarchist Toasts Canada Day

Canadian Flag



Hello, again, America.  I know you’re busy stocking up on flags, burgers and beer in advance of Independence Day.  I just want you to know that your cousins to the north are doing the… Read full post »

MAY 21, 2010 1:57PM

Hell Sells: Naming My Rock Band 


I’ve achieved the age at which a man is required to do something stupid.  To proclaim to the world that he’s somewhat addled, you understand.  I have the trappings: wife, kids, various useless animals living in my home.  Mortgage, incipient gray hairs,… Read full post »

Clinton and Fernandez de Kirchner


One of the first rules of diplomacy is if you don’t have a dog in that fight… don’t put your dog in that fight.  Secretary of State Hillary Clinton broke that rule by stepping messily into the… Read full post »

MARCH 4, 2010 4:12PM

The Pleasures of Burning My Forest

A snowy morning 3 


I have a happy relationship with fire.  Fire has always been good and well-behaved with me.  Never has it gotten out of control and done bad things to me or those close to me.  Instead, it has always been a companion and a helper.  Fire is my friend.

Fire… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 1, 2010 5:53AM

The Truth Revealed: Canadians Are Nazis!

Evil Poutine-Eating Bastards


It took the investigative skills of intrepid Fort Worth Star-Telegram sports columnist Gil LeBreton to uncover the ugly truth.  Like Edward R. Murrow in pre-World War II Vienna and London,… Read full post »

DECEMBER 20, 2009 3:42PM

Ashamed, In Front Of Our Son



I’m not proud to admit, deep into this holy and festive season, that my better angels were nowhere to be found.  I had a clear choice, and I chose the path of deviltry.  My wife Karen, too,… Read full post »

MARCH 25, 2009 4:05PM

Happiness is a Pair of Ducks

Mallard pair 



I was stressed out, far from home and family.  Earlier this month, I’d pulled an all-nighter, working like a caffeine-fuelled demon, in a hotel room in eastern Germany.  The prese… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 24, 2009 1:05PM

Who Will Save Us? The Recession Dream Team!

The news is just bad, bad, bad.  Markets down, unemployment up.  Ridiculous people doing ridiculous things with public money.  Politicians calling for executive suicide, preening for the cameras, rushing to the head of lynch mobs, and insulting Special Olympians.  You know what we/… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 4, 2009 4:15PM

Lunch with my Wife 

It’s not that I’m wearing a secret smile.  It’s more that I’m not sure anyone else would quite understand my smile.  I ditched work and clients to have lunch with a very attractive woman.  With whom I exchanged flirtation.  And suggestive repa… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 18, 2008 11:24AM

Greener (and richer) than thou


It’s hard keeping up with the environmental consciousness of some of my wealthiest friends.  I might add, as delicately as possible, that it’s becoming hard to be in the same room with them, too.  They’re becoming just a little too delighted with themselves.


Read full post »

NOVEMBER 11, 2008 7:44PM

"Slightly less Death to America!"

Obama Magic Reaching Even Determined U.S. Foes


Item:  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, took time out from wiping Israel off maps and making tinfoil hats for his imaginary friend, to write a letter congratulating Barack Obama on his election win. – various neRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 3, 2008 4:46PM

Your Recession Survival Guide

4 Rules to Remember


We don’t have a lot of time, people, so please pay attention and act accordingly.


A recession is knocking at our door.  It won’t be long until the door is kicked in.  In case you don’t remember, or haven’t lived through one, se… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 2, 2008 12:30AM

Halloween contest

"Where MY candy?", asked the ladybug, not unreasonably...

Where MY candy 

 (Aila, age 2)

Oh, She Can Be Charming, Too...

Friendly ladybug 

(Excited ladybug, saying "Hi!")



  Read full post »

OCTOBER 23, 2008 6:00PM

Five old guys stand their ground

 AC/DC Never Change.  Thank Heaven.


(Brian Johnson, Angus Young, Malcolm Young.  Not pictured:  Cliff Williams, Phil Rudd.  Photo source - New York Times)

Hang on, reader – keep reading.  I know you’re probably not a hard rock fan, and you likel… Read full post »

OCTOBER 22, 2008 2:07PM

The End of Awe and Dread

Earthrise 4   

(Earthrise from Apollo 11)


It’s hard to put your finger on when we began to lose touch with our ancient companions, awe and dread.  Those two emotions that have inspired us and motivated us, and that in many ways have defined our humanity…… Read full post »

Angel in clover 

(Angel - proud great pyrenees mountain dog)

I want points for courage, here, as I’m taking on the powerful small-dog lobby, which secretly controls Hollywood, the banks and the United Nations. 

Big dogs are a boon to mankind.  Big dogs are friends.  Big dogs share… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 19, 2008 6:53PM

Slate shoots at libertarians - and misses


How can you blame “Libertarianism” for the financial collapse, if you can’t define what it is?



Slate S Thumbs down


Slate’s editor-in-chief Jacob Weisberg wants us to know that libertarianism has been proven wrong, and the credit meltdown is the eviRead full post »

OCTOBER 17, 2008 1:54PM

Today's politics: colder and meaner


Today's National Post newspaper published a column of mine, in the wake of this week's Canadian elections.  I think the theme applies equally - perhaps even more - to the current American political culture. 

I feel sorry for today's young political operativ… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 9, 2008 1:35AM

Enough about you. Let's talk about Canada's election.


(Canada... that big place on top of America... where the weather comes from.)

I know it seems that the whole world is watching, breathless, to see how the US elections will turn out.  Actually, it’s true.  We are.  But other things are happening around the globe, too.&nbsRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 4, 2008 11:41AM

Obama and O'Reilly: Will they tussle or tango?


This one gave me a bigger jolt than my gas station coffee, this morning.  Senator Obama will be on Bill O’Reilly’s show tonight at 20h00, right before Sen. McCain’s convention speech.


[pause for shocked breath intakes, shouted opinions & objections]


I&rs… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 3, 2008 8:14PM

Wine "snobs" & me


My Oenophileophobia




I love wine – all wine, whether it’s $15 and bottled last week, or $400, and bottled mid-century by reclusive, mute Spanish monks.  I don’t resent wine connoisseurs, and I don’t dismiss them as “snobs”.&nbRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 2, 2008 12:20AM

Who's winning this election? The Royal Navy.

The Election's Idiom War is Already Won


Battle of the Nile by Thomas Luny

(The Battle of the Nile, 1798, by Thomas Luny) 

The polls, many showing Senators Obama and McCain neck-and-neck, don’t tell the whole story.  To judge by the language of the candidates and the media - particularly the televi/… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 29, 2008 3:31PM

On Palin: Huffington Post Wallowing in Sexist Mud

How Huffington Post Sees Gov. Palin 

(How Huffington Post sees Gov. Palin - per their cover page)

The folks over at Huffington Post have shown that in their hyper-partisan excitement, there are few levels to which they won’t stoop.  They’ve brought out some sexist howitzers, with which to pound Senator McC… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 28, 2008 4:16PM

"I'm going to kill you, in a moment."

A Lesson for Management and HR, from the deep.


(Carribean reef shark)


Caribbean reef sharks are worthy of respect for a particular reason.  It’s not just that they can grow up to 9 feet in length, and if so inclined, could disassemble a diver.  I respect these fish beca… Read full post »

AUGUST 27, 2008 5:58PM

Don’t be afraid, America.


On Inauguration Day, in January, Americans of different political stripes will be happy to move on.  A difficult, sometimes bitter, period in your history will end.  A new one, fresh and full of the promise of the new, will begin.  Your country’s best friends around the w… Read full post »