New York-The latest work from the master minimalist poet, Gerald Andersen, has been setting the world of internet poesy ablaze since it was posted on Open Salon twenty minutes ago.
Here is the controversial work in its entirety:
“I would call it the most important work of the last half hour,” the NY Times internet poetry critic gushes. “Only Andersen could assemble such a subtle combination of words, fraught with meaning and profound truth.”
"It's Lewis Carroll interpreted for modern readers," glows Literarydigest.com
Reader’s note: Gerald Andersen is the OS “avatar’ for Gerald Anderson, who prefers to remain anonymous.
However, feminist and vegan poets beg to differ on his latest offering.
“You don’t have to look far to find the ‘meat’ in this so-called poem,” comments vegansandwitch, a frequent OS contributor, “This is the jungle cry of the carnivorous male, and nothing more,” she harumphs.
Seemy Rore, a renowned feminist internet poet and leader of the Anti-Exclamatory movement, raises another point: “The use of the flagrantly phallic exclamation here is like waving the rigid digit of male dominance in the face of every female.” Ms. Rore, whose movement seeks to eliminate the exclamation point from polite discourse, is author of the book, “Men Exclaim, Women Explain.”
As in any richly textured master work, meaning is often in the mind of the beholder.
Seymour Putz, Professor of Religiosity at Santorum University, sees a profoundly religious piece: “It seems obvious to me that this is the cry of the savior figure offering his body for the salvation of sinners. I was deeply moved, as was Rick, I'm sure. In fact, he burst into tears when Andersen shouted this poem to him at one of our recent campaign stops.”
With the controversy swirling around his latest work, it seems like an hour ago that Andersen was the darling of the internet poesy universe with the posting of his now classic work:
“The pairing of ‘fuck’ with ‘this’ is like a breath of fresh air. It’s surprising no one has ever thought of it before,” the New York Times raved.
Ima Schlepper, professor of literature at Phoenix University, mined a richer vein in this mother lode of profundity: “Read left to right this is a world weary plaint about one’s situation in life. Read right to left, it is a reference to a particular individual. I suspect a political reference here.” This wouldn’t be surprising since Andersen once used this sobriquet to introduce the Governor of New Jersey at a poetry society banquet..
In those days, the feminist poets were all on his side. “The combining of the plosive, Anglo Saxon ‘fuck” with the soft sibilance of ‘this’ is the perfect yin-yang of the male/female relationship,” Rore gushed.
She also praised Andersen’s elimination of the period , a punctuation mark which she sees as an unseemly reference to the menstrual cycle.
What Andersen thinks of this, is anyone's guess since he responds to interview requests by reciting one of his poems, either “Eat Me!”, or his epic work, “Go Shit in Your Hat.”
Schlepper sums it up thusly: “Who knows what works of genius will emerge from the vast empty space of Andersen’s mind.”
Who knows, indeed?