Sea chantys are rhythmic songs that sailors in the age of sail sang while trying to move their bowels after six months on a hard tack diet  and rationed water. "Push, My Hearties, Push", immortalized by the Kingston Trio, is of course the most well known of the genre, but there are thousands of others.While there are some elements here that might suggest a later date, I am convinced of this one's authenticity. But what am I, a proctologist?)

MY FINGERS ARE FALLING OFF

By Anonymous

My fingers are falling off, ha,ha.

My fingers are falling off hee,hee

Could be the scurvy, could be the clap

Could be the uric acid in my pee pee

As we rounded the cape in a fearsome squall

Wee Willy Pinky was first to fall.

My ring bearing fellow was next to drop.

He hit the deck with a metallic ker-plop.

My middle chap, I’ll miss the old dear,

He could make a lass grin from ear to ear.

He was much loved from here to Lahore

But jolly Sir Tickle Puss is no more.

My fingers are falling off, ha,ha.

My fingers are falling off hee,hee

Could be the scurvy, could be the clap

Could be radiation from my TV.

Salty tears I did weep

When noble forefinger slid into the deep.

Picking my nose will not be an issue,

Since old Schnoz fell off in my tissue.

(Why this happened evidence is scanty.

It will have to wait til my next sea chanty.)

I went from depressed to really glum

When I bid adieu to old Tom Thumb.

How shall I ever call for the tab,

Or when in New York signal a cab?

I looked at my hand and saw just a palm.

I could still wack-off, so I was calm.

And then from my wrist slid old Mrs. Hand,

Adieu, my best friend when far from the land.

I sip my rum and am not pissed,

For I’m an eternal optimist.

Five fingers are gone it is truly so,

But, shit, I ‘ve still got five more to go.

My fingers are falling off, ha,ha.

My fingers are falling off hee,hee

Could be the scurvy, could be the clap

Could be nuclear waste in the deep sea.