Lust doesn't know or care how old you are. Just ask me. It also doesn’t care when it strikes or with whom or how age appropriate the object of your lust. I just know, when it steals over me I can’t ignore it. Apparently neither can certain males.
I know I asked this question in an earlier blog; “When is it appropriate to have sex when you are a widow?” Many of you helped me out with your insightful and wise comments. Well...helped me out is a relative statement, you were willing to offer up advice which mainly I took away as, “Whenever you are ready.”
Thanks. I’m finding little else on my mind recently. Maybe it is being on vacation which has allowed my brain to fill with thoughts of sex. Maybe it is the nubile young bodies that surround me, not as passengers (though I have seen a few of someone’s children ...hey over 21 for sure) but as in the dancers, or in particular the adorable French bartender. I am sure it is these young men which have turned my head, both literally and figuratively. I’m alternately embarrassed and openly agape. Yes, some of them are gay, but hey, I do have an active imagination which will make them into anything (sex slave) I want in the darkness of my empty cabin.
There's a point when you've reached the mountaintop of the hysterics, grieving, or just growing older and can begin to feel the good things about your body. Finally, you accept your body -- fat or thin, cellulite or not, sagging breasts or perky implants. When your butt may be at your ankles, the once ample or perky breasts begin blending into a generous waist, yet in your mind you are free, happy and hornier than you ever remember being. That's when dinosaur lust begins to rear its gorgeous head.
I follow my prehistoric mind wanderings because I want to, because I have to. What I'm saying is; now I have time to listen to every pore of my body, screaming aloud for pure, raw, satisfying sex, and I have both the time and luxury to do it.
Some of you may be shocked by this revelation, most aren't in the least, if you are being honest. Lust is magnificent. It can propel you into worlds you never thought your mind would enter while seeking sexual satisfaction. This is your fantasy world; it can include old standbys, or explore some other powerful stimuli you may not even have been aware of previously. (Or been willing to admit.)
I have never been more acutely aware of my body than I am right now. Maybe it’s the specter of death which has been surrounding me for months or, perhaps I am oozing those powerful pheromones or something, but it just seems to me whatever it is seems to be attracting things to me which are downright amazing. I am rarely taken by surprise, but lately I have been.
If I told you what has been buzzing around me lately you would be amazed. I know I am. Why just a few days ago a guy asked me if I knew what a MILF is. Thanks to blogs and overheard conversations I do, and I was proud to be able to understand the context of the story he told about his teenaged friends coming around his home JUST to be near his mother, she was that hot. (Of course I extrapolated it to make it apply to me at that moment...sigh.)
Before this happened I was being chased around by a 22 yr. old who thought I was “hot”. Hot or not, it was odd...plus the fact he did not have a condom, so any further thoughts on the matter were nixed in my mind. The last thing I want is to end up with some sexually transmitted disease, no matter how cute he is. (Let that be a lesson to you young men...didn’t the Boy Scouts teach you guys anything? Be prepared okay!)
Last night I met a gentleman here on the ship...it figures, tonight is the last night, where the heck has he been for 8 days? Anyway, he was somewhere in his 40’s or 50’s...he wouldn’t say, but definitely more age appropriate. The thing is, he kept telling me, “You’re dangerous.” Well, yeah in a certain way...but I didn’t just want to have a one or two night fling. I think I want the romance, the slow buildup of sexual tension...then I would say watch out...I could be very dangerous. An hour or two meet-up in a bar two nights before he exits back to the Midwest...not so much. I am not desperate...a big difference between following my brain and my body...and both need to meet for it to be satisfying.
However, because I want to let myself go explore my newly awaked sexuality I let my imagination wander wherever it wants, when it wants in the privacy of...whether on my balcony, this big old empty bed, or lying around the pool deck. I just need to remember nobody knows what or when I am thinking about sex (unless I tell them), so I just go ahead and enjoy these moments, making the fantasies as fertile and as fabulous as my mind deems. I know I have been gathering material, even if only in my mind. I’d have to say the cruise has been a huge success in that way...it's just my Dinosaur Wander-Lust after all.