My World Would be Emptier Without Each of You...
I know I have been somewhat optimistic here, and metaphorical...but dying is difficult enough without sharing every detail. I shared what I could at the time.
I have so many things I want to say now and share with you, but I need time. I don't think it is quite real for me yet. I know what I need to do to take care of me, and heal my broken heart. Don't worry, like it or not you will be along for the ride with me.
This is my special video, made by accident, but you have to see it to really understand his zest for life. Made this in Hawaii this past June.
Let me share what I posted elsewhere in my other blog:
This morning Lance died, suddenly, but knowing I loved him deeply. You my friends (and strangers alike) have been along on this journey which has been a wonderful, incredible adventure and culmination of my thirty years with this unique and amazing man whose life was cut way too short. We truly needed more of his compassion, kindness, humor and love...the world will miss his energy, but I hope I can continue to share his love of his life, our life, through me.
I know you will understand how I need some time to process this new fork in the road. Thank you for allowing me to take the kindness all of you provided so freely and compassionately and helping me to be strong and there for him and his brother, and mother and his many, many friends.
If you like, please go read the blog he started a few years ago, only because I hounded him mercilessly to do one. It made me smile, it's a side of him I adored and am happy to share with you. It's only five entries, he did them for me, for love.
Love and gratitude for everything baby. (Sheila) xoxoxo
Run Lancie Run!!! You earned it baby.
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Comments
The absolute wonder of knowing and loving someone like that is unbearably precious. It's what I would like to think heaven is.
Thank you for sharing this.
I am not even sure what is appropriate, but I do have one thought, having lived through too much loss: Lance is not sad now. As much as we may grieve for "what he/she missed" by dying too young, remember that Lance is not grieving for that now. If you can give up the sadness you feel on Lance's behalf for his too-short life, you can concentrate on handling your own grief, which you are left here to deal with. I hope this makes a tiny bit of sense.
I see you are already going there by celebrating his happy life.
I don't know you well, but some of my friends do, and I know you will get through this. All of my sympathy and empathy and love goes out to you tonight, and in the weeks, and months, and years to come.
We are called to a higher purpose here on Earth,..to lift each other up; and sometimes we struggle to put it all in words that capture everything we need to say to one another, and to meet that calling.
I am struggling like that now with you...so it is certainly ok if you take the time yourself.
Just know that a community can come together and find the words sometimes..it can help.
We can be that community for you, and you for us.
rated
Sharon
Thank you for being here, for sharing your life and your love and your pain with us.
You have been, and continue to be, in my thoughts and prayers.
I do not know your beliefs, but I do know you have experienced a loss and for that I am truly sorry.
I can only say what is within my understandings and tell you that love is an energy that cannot be destroyed. It passes on through generations and more importantly lifetimes. That the souls we are truly bound to never leave and there will come a time when you will meet once again to face new challenges together.
A cause for celebration and sorrow it is, but it is not a farewell, but merely a pause. A transition that will once again refuel our souls and lead us once again back to one another.
Erik
Shanti, shanti.
Peace, peace peace.
I'm so sorry for your loss. If I could take some of the pain for you I would.
Be strong and know we are all here for you.
Kirsty xxx
I love that little video.
xo
My heart hurts for you. Much Love to you.
M.
To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated,
But to the happy, I am at peace,
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty - remember me.
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity - remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, and your memories of the times we loved, the times we cried, the times we fought, the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will have never gone.
Mourning has broken...allow it to heal you...
Words seem so inadequate right now...please, just know that a large chunk of my heart and Mel's too, resides there with you. We love you and we loved Lance and you know that whatever you need, whenever you need it, and whatever is in our power...is yours.
You are one of the strongest ladies it has ever been my privilege to know, but even the strongest needs a shoulder sometimes and in here you have a ton of shoulders to lean upon. He lives still in your heart and the hearts of all who knew him, hun. I know he will live in my heart for as long as it keeps ticking.
God bless and keep you my dear, sweet friend.
I'm so, so, so sorry. There are no other words that mean anything. More prayers for you. Virtual hugs.
Eva
There is no greater gift than being able to share yourself with others as you do. Lance was surely a wonderful spirit and soul. My heart goes out to you and all those close to Lance and you and your family and dear friends. I hope that when it's my time I'll feel as loved as he most surely did. (((sheila)))
d
Sending prayers of strength to you for this difficult time.
Peace and Love,
Peace, always and forever....
I look forward to reading his work. Love and hugs.
Much love, Buffy. Write every day and every hour because somehow it holds you close.
BR
Holding you both in the light. There's nothing more I can really say. Love to you.
D
Monte
We are here for you.
peace to you this day my friend
My deepest condolences. So much love and well wishes from myself and my family.
Peace and Blessings
You are in my thoughts, dear Sheila. All my love to you.
Lo siento tanto, Sheila; qué tristeza.... un beso grande grande.
Kisses,
Marcela
Aloha, Lance, and blessings to you, Sheila,
Melissa
rocco and rusty
peace,
dj
P. S. I don't think the Hawaii video was an "accident." Thanks for sharing a part of Lance with all of us.
XOXO
Love you,
Kim
So instead of words I'll just send love.
A great big virtual hug to you Sheila.
Thoughts and prayers to you.
My sincere condolences!!! My heart has been with you this past week since I learned of his illness. I'm so sad to hear that he has passed away. Hoping you are coping and finding your life. Sincerely, Ralph
I remember your first Vegas post-- how your husband ordered
chocolate covered strawberries and had them waiting for you when you checked in and I remember thinking: what a total sweetheart! He loves her so!
I am so happy for you, that you had a big love like that and I am so sad for your loss. Peace to you, today.
Yet you have so many wonderful memories of a really, really cool guy. Telepathically or not, those memories are what make Lance immortal. Joy in memories is eternal. Give him his immortality, in your memories of a fond and wonderful life with him.
I hope for peace for you.
Wishing you peace and calm.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
The backdrop music, soft laughter, and gentle voice in the video will naturally bring tears.
I miss many of the shared You-Tubes and photos because of the no-high-speed hookup. Condolences. Time. Sands do flow through the hourglass. This is a beautiful and sad Post You share. No human can bear the many heartbreaks in one life, and hold alone those personal sorrow and deep sense of loss. Thanks for sharing.
`
Remember the happy years you both shared. Day`Lilly, soft breezes, sunrise, sunsets, and I do remember your beautiful Hawaii Post in June. O Time.
A periwinkle blooms.
A sparkling dew drop.
A flower/delicious fruit.
Surprises come/evaporate.
Beauty unexpectedly hides.
It appears in unexpected Place.
Remember Love and nurture it.
You said the video was a accident.
Yes. And this is shared with others.
Remember all the beautiful Times.
Times of affirmation/appreciation.
Sometime Life is a unpleasant ordeal.
Pain strengthens. Live with gratitude.
We frail humans have a way to go yet.
Let's continue the journey with grace.
I'll stop this word flow.
You will take slow steps?
People can support each other.
My tear comes too. That's okay.
You wrote:`
"I love and miss you my love... but you know it."
You expressed that. And he knows it. I do agree.
My thoughts now become silent. Good Morning.
I am so sorry to hear this. I have been so consumed with my own issues, that I have not been here for awhile. I was so sorry to hear of your loss.
My prayers and good wishes, are with you. Now is the time to remember the good times, and to forget the bad ones.
Namaste. The light in my heart honors the light in your heart, even as it breaks. So sorry for your loss.