As a substitute teacher, I often find myself back in high school. Depending on my mood, I may be blissfully nostalgic, transported back to my increasingly distant youth. Other times I'm thanking the gods I've grown a few brain cells since then. As I observe high school girls in all their ignorant glory, oh how I itch to pull them aside and set them straight. Then I remember that no one could have told me anything in those days. Besides, I'd probably get sued by their parents for substitute abuse or something.
The things I don't dare say...
1. Honey, you may not under any circumstances wear tights as pants. I don't care how opaque they are, they are not leggings. If I can see the crotch seams, they should be considered underwear and paired with an additional garment.
2. I've seen you making out in the back parking lot with your boyfriend, and although it should look bad for both of you, it's always the girl who comes out looking like a skank. Your fella, well he just gets extra cool points. Mind you, I'm not judging, but trust me. If you're going to engage in skanky behavior, better to do so in private.
3. I know UGGs are super cool and everyone wears them all the time but ladies, UGGs should not be worn with just anything. When I see you in the halls with a skirt and top ensemble in a color scheme at odds with your bright pink UGGs, I think...comfy cozy is not the only consideration. Also, if you happen to be short with heavy legs, UGGs are not for you at all. (By the way, I would urge my readers to buy stock in the UGG company since they cost a small fortune and every other middle and high-school student owns a pair.)
4. Darlings, I know you feel the need to be sexy even at your tender age. I remember and I get it, but please know, you should not be wearing micro-minis and stiletto heels to school. You look ridiculous tipping around campus in shoes that are obviously uncomfortable and entirely inappropriate. And as for the dresses/skirts. If you have to tug at it every time you rise from your desk so as not to give your classmates an eyeful of your behind, it's too short. You are naturally lovely in your youth and therefore a work of art in jeans and a t-shirt. If you want to be noticed, impress with your good grades.
5. Girls, I beg of you, don't flirt with your teachers. Often in team
teaching situations with an attractive, youngish male teacher, I've observed you invading his space; flipping your hair in his direction and/or propping your legs up on a desk hoping he might get an "accidental" glimpse of your underage nether region. Yes, you can safely assume this behavior makes him uncomfortable. When you do this, you are disrespectful and just plain silly.
So good to get that out. Good luck and be well.