We don’t need a heck of a pile,

you once told me,

we can live on love and happiness

forever.

That was

when love and happiness

were piled high and plentiful.

Then one day love is sorrow

joy is grief

the need is for  more

than a memory

of  all that love

and happiness—

of what was.

What remains?

Once again I hear your soft voice

calm and patient

whispering in my ear

not lecturing

 gently reminding me

about not needing a heck of a pile—

only love and happiness.

Forever.

John A. Bayerl, January 13, 2012


That's how it is today.  Warm memories of what was, keeping alive the love that lead to so much happiness.  As I wrote to a friend today, I'm not real sure yet about what may be next for me,  I only know that there are things remaining for me to do.  It would absolutely be so much easier and more fun with Gwen at my side.  (I wonder how many times I've used the phrase "with Gwen at my side" since she died.  She really was my pal; my sidekick for a lot of ventures and adventures, even a few misadventures.)  

As I'm writing this I'm reminded of what a strong, self-directed person Gwen was.  Whatever she set out to accomplish in life she succeeded in doing.  Mustn't forget what a great example she set not only in dealing with chronic illness, but also in doing whatever she put her mind to.

A big thing I'm grateful for, Dear, is that one of the things you knew you wanted was me.  You were so cute about it too.