By Girly-Girls, I mean both males and females who love to wear pink. And...
*who drive brightly colored cars with multi-colored ribbons tied to their antennae.
*who have bumper stickers that say things like "Expect A Miracle" or "Something Wonderful Is About To Happen."
*who squeal at the sight of babies and puppies.
*who love rainbows and unicorns and butterflies.
*who cry every time a commercial for the Humane Society comes on.
*who can't watch Animal Planet because it's too traumatizing.
*who hate spiders but can't bring themselves to kill one.
*who care soooo much more about support than competition.
*who believe the need to be right is just plain silly and the cause of most misery in the world.
*who will gladly give a hug to anybody who needs one.
*who would rather appear foolish than hurt someone's feelings.
*who think Kindness is a higher virtue than Truth (because what the heck is true, anyway?)
I'm not talking about superficial Girly-ness here. I'm talking about Deep Girly-ness.
A wise dear friend of mine said the other day "We all - women and men - have a little girl inside of us. And we are encouraged from a very early age to destroy her."
And is that really true? Is there a frilly little princess in each of us who's been murdered, mutilated, and buried in broken pieces throughout our psyche?
Most little girls over the age of eight have learned (and learned well) a contempt for Girly-ness. And that's about the age when the meanness sets in.
Now, by Girly-ness I don't mean sexiness. There's no one more macho than a stiletto-heeled, silicone breasted, lipo-sculpted fashionista. Such women are celebrated all over our culture, and there's nothing Girly about them. They've just put lipstick and perfume on their balls (and on their pitbulls).
By Girly-ness I mean vulnerable, silly, tender, open, weepy, giggly, love-drunk, love-lorn, "codependent", and wildly sensitive.
What happens to men (and boys) who exhibit these Girly-traits? At best they are ostracized and ridiculed; at worst, they are beaten to death on the street, or dragged behind cars until they die.
Women have it easier. We don't get killed for being Girly.We just get the sneer and the eye roll. Everyone knows we can't be both intelligent and Girly. And we certainly can't be both strong and Girly.
Or can we?
Girly-girls (and Girly-boys) by definition are not tough. But does that mean they're not strong?
A piece of meat can be tough, but it can't be strong. Strong is something else entirely.
Tough is kind of an external thing, like the loud bark of a little dog. It's mainly for show, and it's always rooted in fear.
Strength is more about essence. It's an internal thing, and can only be rooted in courage.
If you're going to reject toughness and embrace Girly-ness, you'd better be strong. And exceedingly brave. Being Girly is like waving a red flag in front of a bull: you will be charged. If you're not on a first-name basis with your intuition, you won't survive for long.
Fairies, rainbows, butterflies, princesses, unicorns, true love, smiley-faces, hearts, squeals of delight, rivers of tears, holding hands, skipping, frolicking, twirling, giggling - could we ever elect a president who embodies these things? And if not - Why not?
I am both an ardent feminist and a techni-colored Girly-girl. I make Minnie Mouse seem Butch by comparison.
And while I'm glad the feminist movement freed women from the requirement to be Girly, I'm disappointed that it did not free society from its contempt for Girlyness. Tomboys are still great, and Sissies (wimps, wussies) are still disgusting. And the ultimate multi-purpose putdown these days is "gay" - which is really just a pseudonym for Girly.
I'm tired of all the anti-Girly bullsh - I mean, puppy poop. Forget about getting your Cowboy on. Getcher Girly on instead! Trade in your Hummer for a hot pink Prius. Let your Snark and Sarcasm be devoured by Sweetness. Stop strutting, and start skipping!
And as far as politics go: Screw the Republican, Democratic, Libertarian, and Green Party. Let's throw our support behind the Pink Party! Big hugs and kisses for everyone! "Give Peace A Chance!" "Make Love, Not War!" "Imagine!" Let's put a rhinestone tiara on the head of our next president, and a pink feather boa around his or her shoulders! Let's start invading countries with armies of baby-sitters and massage therapists, florists and hair dressers! Let's make the whole world comfy, cozy, and really really pretty!
Okay - so maybe we're not ready to let Girly-girls or Girly-boys take over the world. But can we at least stop dissing them? The last time I checked, it wasn't Girly-folk who were blowing up airplanes, bombing villages, or torturing prisoners of war.
Killing off the Girly-girls, in ourselves and others, gives many of us a false sense of power. But that "power" comes at a terrible price.
In the past twenty years, the population of more than seventy percent of all butterfly species has declined rapidly; many species may become extinct altogether. If we keep on killing off the Girly-girls, will rainbows be next?
You've got to admit, it's something to think about...