The Good Weather Glee Club

The Good Weather Glee Club: I can't stand this rain. It's supposed to be 85 degrees tomorrow and sunny. Can't wait.

Me: Hmm...it's March. I find those temperatures disconcerting this early.

The Good Weather Glee Club:  Really?? I LOVE it.

Me: Do you

… Read full post »

 Originally written for Freedom is Green.

On Tuesday, I woke up to find that the Supreme Court of the United States ruled by a 5-to-4 vote that officials may strip-search people arrested for any offense, however minor, before admitting them to jails even if the officials have no reason to… Read full post »

When you look at me like that, I don't know what to do. It's too stimulating, too exciting.

For such a shy man, it's such a bold act, the way you stare. Audacious. It makes me admire you. It makes me think you're a surprise. And I like surprises.

I try to maintain… Read full post »

A final blow to the head and he was out cold, face down, glistening drool seeping from his cracked, nicotine-stained lips. And I was the one who did it. I warned him that I would. That I could. But he didn't… Read full post »

Man, I was hungover on Saturday. I went surfing with my friend in the a.m. but after I came home and took a hot shower, I was done, kaput.

So when I saw that Whitney Houston's funeral would be viewable online, I thought, "Perfect, Beth Mann. You have a plan. You could… Read full post »

Say Anything came out… Read full post »

 Some musicians are a little too smart for their own good. They're not bad or anything. Just could stand a little lightening up occasionally. A little...self-serious, perhaps. This is because they "smarted the fun out of music."

WARNING! Do not defend the band to us or you'd be seriously… Read full post »

I walk by the house on my way to the beach every day. It's a massive, faceless house but it overlooks the ocean. And here, that means everything.

Last week, I noticed several cars parked in the driveway.… Read full post »

It doesn't take much to excite me at this point of the winter. It's cold, dreary and desolate at the Jersey shore and I wear pajamas and my "suicide robe" (as I affectionately call it) entirely too much. Teeth are brushed only if they're lucky. And one day… Read full post »

“Are you calling me a liar?” I asked the stone-faced 20-something cashier.

“No, I’m just saying that lots of customers tell us a price is cheaper than it is."

“So you are calling me a liar. The cabbage is 69 cents a pound. Check it if you don’t believe me. B… Read full post »

My New Year's resolution made over a decade ago was to touch people more. To break that social wall that keeps our hands and bodies a safe distance from one other. To connect more physically.

I'm speaking of the/… Read full post »

[This is a repost from last year. Happy holidays, all! ]

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Okay, there's actually a small handful of good holiday songs and the rest should be candy caned to death. (The rest will be revealed at the end of the piece. Don't peak.)

Do They Know it's… Read full post »

Because of the popularity of our last Open Call, Alysa Salzberg (of Alysa Salzberg fame) and I decided to join forces once again and compose a complementary list to 7 Things I'm Surprised I Like.


Here goes:

1. Zebras

I love animals. LOVE them. They make me believe in God and everything… Read full post »

_{Click on funny NJ map to enlarge.}


Jersey. No, not like the show The Jersey Shore. That bears no resemblance to the South Jersey existence I'm tethered to. Mine is the Jersey shore that's entering a long… Read full post »

 

And maybe there are seasons. And maybe they change. And maybe to love is not so strange. - Dan Fogelberg, To the Morning

 

I'm going to give away the punchline: I fell in love with a… Read full post »

1. Southern Rock

Musically, I never saw this one coming. Born and raised on 70's pop, I should dislike this kind of macho heavy-handed, long-jam rock whose lyrics can lean toward bigotry and closed-mindedness. But play a little Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Allman Brothers, Marshall Tucker Band or ZZ Top and ou… Read full post »

 _{Ruby Lawrence, one of my closest friends and co-host to 11/11/11 party.}

 

I met Open Salon's Cartouche last year. It was as natural as the breeze. We hugged and proceeded to spend a glorious weekend in Florida together, as if I'd known her my whole life.

So strange,… Read full post »

The dollhouse? He broke my dollhouse too?

In my early 20’s, I naively thought someone had to hit you to constitute an abusive relationship. I didn’t know that breaking all of your shit was also a form of abuse. And that’s what Bill did.…

Read full post »

I was suspicious of them early on, though I wasn't quite sure why. Perhaps its that pervasive and cloying "pink means female" message. We suffer from a "cute" femmy disease and wear sweet little ribbons to prove it. Barbie should wear one!

After watching several friends and relatives die
…

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Years ago, I had the pleasure of watching Kazuo Ohno perform. Kazuo Ohno is one of the founders of Butoh, a distinctive, evocative and often disturbing dance form born out of the horrors of wartime bombing in Japan.

When I saw him perform, he was in his 80's. He was beyond mesmerizing.… Read full post »

Fall descends upon the Jersey shore. The tourists have scuttled back to their suburban box homes with their whining offspring in tow. Quiet stands a chance once again. And although this season ushers in some much needed peace, it also fills me with a sense of "Oh my god, how the… Read full post »

 

So you have a cell phone? Okay, well good for you. I do too! Fancy, isn't it? But remember, there are some rules to remember when using that spiffy telecommunication device of yours in public:

1. You're not special because you have a cell phone. Small children and… Read full post »

(This is a short story I wrote for Redroom.com last week on the topic of "life changing decisions.")

 

This town is so empty. Even the breeze feels empty. A dead, lukewarm breeze.

 

Walking down the bleak, sun bleached streets, I wonder if there’s any life… Read full post »

I’m looting my neighbor’s garden. Looting light, I would call it. Everyone has been evacuated and I’m one of the few remaining at the Jersey shore during Hurricane Irene. I grab a few ripe tomatoes, a batch of heady oregano. It’s all/… Read full post »

 

As a single American female in my 40's, I feel it my duty to impart sagely advice to as many young men as possible. As a surfer, I am provided that opportunity. Many young men have approached me with pleas of guidance. And I’m happy to impart.… Read full post »