Yesterday, after four straight weeks of sending out oodles of resumes, using networking contacts, and applying for low paying internships without so much as a blip of interest from any employer, I scored a potential hit. Realizing that four weeks in this DOA job market isn't a long wait, I immediately celebrated my good fortune. The position, a 6-12 month contracting role in internal corporate communications for a large firm in the Chicago suburbs, manages to marry several attractive elements at once.
In the first place, it's a paid writing gig and when I found myself laid off almost two months ago, I didn't set the bar for my next role any higher than that. But in addition the pay is good, the company is doing well, and I even like the transient nature of the position. One of the many reasons I have failed to succeed long term in the corporate world is the tendency to feel trapped and helpless at around the two year mark in a given situation. Once I have mastered my work, I want more, but the cubicle environment is famous for stifling ambition. However, were I fortunate enough to be offered this contract, the fear of claustrophobia is inherently removed.
At 5 PM yesterday, after I set up a time for a phone interview and logged off the computer, I decided to treat myself to a glass of wine. I knew better than to count my chickens. I hadn't been hired yet. But the opening up of the employment channels at all was a vindication of sorts: my decision to invest fully in a writing career, rather than clinging to operations or administration (the old safe standbys) would eventually pay off. I am good enough, smart enough and doggone it, at least Erin, the recruiter who found my resume on CareerBuilder, likes me.
Therefore, as close to buoyant in mood as I ever get, I waited for my husband Eddie to come home so I could share the good news: plan my interview outfit, strategize about what experiences I should highlight with my interlocutors and which I should save for second string. Though the looming threat of disappointment always hangs around the edges of an interview experience, it is important to enjoy that sweet spot, the precious moments before the interrogation when anything seems possible. You are your smartest, most capable, most positive self. There is so much that is debilitating about the unemployment cycle, so it is vital to enjoy these fleeting moments.
And so it was that when my husband's first piece of interview advice turned out to be "don't fuck it up," I crashed as quickly as I had ascended the emotional heights. Disbelieving my ears and wanting very badly for him to vindicate himself, I asked if he believed this was the right choice of words for instilling confidence. His reply: "well, it's a genuine concern."
I have written honestly, and at length about my battles with social awkwardness and volatile self-esteem. I am well aware that I do not always perform as I wish in front of a crowd. However, when it comes to interviews, and anything related to survival, like landing a job, evading police or patching up drunken injuries without a trip to the emergency room, my success ratio is darned close to impeccable. As we writers are sensitive types, is there anything more painful than hearing our deepest fears verbalized by a loved one? I had managed in the last month, to lull myself into the secure state of belief that if I could just secure a face to face interview, I'd be unstoppable. Yet here was my own spouse disclosing the uncertainty that I might screw myself out of opportunity by being a nervous loose canon.
Upon reflection after an evening spent wounded on my part, and groveling on my husband's, it is apparent that Eddie stepped in a pile of unintended verbal diarrhea. Somewhere in my heart I know that he was awkwardly trying to advise me not to let nerves get the better of me, to have the confidence in myself that he has, to understand that I am qualified for this role, and even if I don't get it, another like it will come my way. I just wish he would have stayed quiet until he knew better how to frame the discussion. Red wine doesn't go very well with tears.
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jmac1949
touchingthetrees
Ann Nichols
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Beth Dugan
Annmarie Handley
Salon.com
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First, think of the setting of the interview. The interviewer is at his/her desk. He has your resume in front of him. He is making notes during the interview (usually).
HE WILL ALSO MAKE NOTES IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE INTERVIEW!! This is important. It is also forgotten by 99% of those "experts" who train people for interviews or who write advice for doing them.
You already know to make a good first impression. You know to have some serious questions written down (so you don't forget them and to impress the interviewer with how well organized you are).
Now the secret: Do a good exit.
That interviewer will make his notes on you the instant you leave his office. The LAST impression is just as important as the first impression - maybe even more so.
As the interview ends you will be picking up your things, standing, and shaking hands with the interviewer. Firm handshake, of course, and a final question from you. A "simple to answer" question so that the interviewer can answer it as you are making your exit. People LOVE to be asked questions that they can appear clever for answering so keep it an easy one. As he sits down to write his notes after you leave, he will still have the "glow" of satisfaction he got from answering your simple question. His notes will come from his own ego being stroked and be great!!
This is a "smooth exit".........
You can also develop your own. It is pretty easy to do and you might prefer a different method. Just make sure it is smooth and, if possible, strokes his/her ego without seeming to do so.
You are quite clearly passionate about writing. Speak to that and its many forms. Speak to the various styles and how they fit within the function. Speak to knowledge of the ways in which technology changes that dynamic in ways not yet fully comprehended. Show you are peering around the corner as disruptive technologies alter the function you seek to fill.
You'll ace it if you just stay true to yourself. You are an incredibly good and clear writer. It jumps out off the page.
My first response was to think your hubby was being a jerk, but your last paragraph reminded me of something I learned from my sweetie, which would have been helpful to know a long time ago. People who are very familiar with words (like writers) have no trouble saying exactly the thing they want to say in the very instant that they want to say it. We access the word bank in our head and *poof* there it is. And we assume it's like that for everybody. Here's the thing though-- it's not. For some people, the search for the right words/phrases is so slow and difficult that they learn to half-ass it; they say something that comes fairly close to what they want to convey, and hope it does the trick. When I found this out, I was like, "no way!" It seems almost like a disability to me-- to not be able to say what you want to say, when you want to say it. (By the way, this came up when I was telling him about my bad day, and he asked, "What do you want me to say, when you tell me stuff like this?" And I said, "Well, something like, "That sounds tough. I'm sorry you had to go through that." And he said, "Okay. 'Cause my first response to it is to say, "Sucks to be you." (!) And that's really not the kind of guy he is, and that's when I found out about the whole, "saying something that's vaguely in the area of what I want to convey, since I know I won't be able to find the exact right words."
Sorry this is so long, but I just thought that last paragraph was exactly right, and how empathetic of you to see it, even through your own (*totally justified*) pissed-offness (and insecurity). I think a decent translation of his "don't fuck it up" statement is "I'm rooting for you." (And I am too! Good luck! Knock 'em dead!)
And good luck, again, with the job interview. Eye contact! Firm handshake! You rule! They'd be lucky to get you! :)
Brilliant.
Man Child can't change that, no matter how clumsy his expression of 'support'.
Like you, I've also been told not to "fuck it up" in an interview or even once I've landed a job. Very upsetting. When you talk about struggles with social awkwardness, I completely relate as I have been battling this for years. I so often feel out of place and, even though I have a good vocabulary and love to write, I almost always say the wrong thing.
Wishing you all the very best at the interview. Remember to stay positive about yourself, ask a thoughtful questions and make sure to show them how much you can offer them as a person and as a writer. Also very important: remember that you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. It's mutual.
Rated.
That's just something you'd say to a buddy in the same situation, and take it from me - he meant well..
And what skypixeo said, only in show-biz they call it "always finish BIG!".
..shake it off and good luck with the interview!!
Do your thing gurl...all the best!!
One tip I learned in my two lengthy spells of unemployment concerns phone interviews. Stand up. Apparently talking while standing up instills confidence and assertiveness while sitting down encourages lassitude. I sure hope it comes through for you.
Forget all that and just let your phenomenal talent shine through. Best of luck, Becky.
Lezlie
On another note, I totally relate to your restlessness.
Our hubbies are delightful these days, aren't they?