NOVEMBER 14, 2011 1:55PM

What happens next with Occupy Wall Street, realistically

No, I am not affiliated with the Occupy Wall Street action, nor do I know any one who is. So when I say what'll happen next with this protest, yes, I kind of don't know what I'm talking about. But I'm right.

Here's what's going on:

Occupy Wall Street is partly – and… Read full post »

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OCTOBER 21, 2011 11:49AM

Don't forget: World ends today - again

Just a quick reminder that the world is ending sometime today. It's supposed to occur quickly, after which NJTransit is expected to run on a reduced schedule for the rest of the weekend.

Harold Camping, the radio evangelist who said we quietly went through Judgment… Read full post »

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SEPTEMBER 12, 2011 6:31AM

Rep. Grimm wants to make WTC cross a national monument

Rep. Michael Grimm wants to take a large steel cross that turned up in the wreckage of Ground Zero, and make it into an official national monument.

What a fitting tribute to the hundreds of Jews who died in the attacks of September 11, 2001, as well as the dozens… Read full post »
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Editor’s Pick
JUNE 13, 2011 2:49PM

The Speech I Want to Hear During the Next Sex Scandal

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages,
 
Many of you have asked about a viral video in which a man gently places his genetalia into a bowl of cranberry sauce and serves it to a woman dressed as Lincoln. Although the man's face is covered by a… Read full post »
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MAY 21, 2011 7:00PM

This Writer Has Been Raptured

 

From: Post-Rapture Services
Re: Barry Lank

This is a relayed message through the Post-Rapture Services of Greater Hudson Valley (PRSGHV), notifying friends or relatives of Barry Lank that he has been pulled naked and alive into heaven, and that nobody feels more awkward about it than he does.

As/… Read full post »

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MAY 16, 2011 3:14PM

English is Unfair, Part 4: "Ain't"

 
Because we've banished the word "ain't" from the country club of acceptable words, students have to memorize two more annoying and unnecessary exceptions to the rules:

Exception 1) English has a gaping hole that "ain't" is supposed to fill.

Sure, people substitute "ain’t" fo… Read full post »
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APRIL 25, 2011 1:28PM

English is Unfair, Part 3: Were It Subjunctive

We don’t have a subjunctive mode. Actually, we do. No we don’t. Yes we do. Shut up. No, you shut up.

 

Many languages have a verb mode for saying things that are not true.  In clauses such as “If I ran this company,” “I wish you knew how to bathe,” and/…

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APRIL 3, 2011 6:28PM

English is Unfair, Part 2: Our Spelling

Why Our Spelling System Is Garbage And Always Will Be 

 
 
Please pronounce this word: cot.

Good. Now pronounce this one: caught.

Excellent. How about this: bought.

OK, now pronounce this: bough.

Sweet. Next: tough.

You’re special. Two more: though.

Good work. Last one: through.

Everyon/… Read full post »
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MARCH 24, 2011 5:43PM

English is Unfair: How We Torture ESL Students. Part 1.

 
English is a quirky little island language that took over the world.
 
For more than a thousand years, the grubby, snaggle-toothed squatters of Britain rattled around their foggy, insular garden patch haplessly picking up redundant vocabulary and contradictory rules of grammar from passin… Read full post »
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MARCH 2, 2011 1:57AM

Is Charlie Sheen Performing "Apocalypse Now"?

Yeah, I suppose Charlie Sheen sounds a little like Colonel Gaddafi (as noted here, among other places). But more importantly, he sounds a lot like Colonel Kurtz, Marlon Brando's character in "Apocalypse Now." The movie, of course, starred Sheen's father, Martin. 

 

- - - - - - -

KURTZ
W/… Read full post »

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FEBRUARY 17, 2011 5:19PM

Freelancer Rage at Huffington Not Just About Huffington

If you don't know a writer who's desperately trying to make rent, you may have missed the blast of outrage when Arianna Huffington sold Huffington Post to AOL, making $315 million "on the backs of" unpaid bloggers. Though she does indeed pay a lot of people on staff, she does not… Read full post »

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SEPTEMBER 14, 2010 12:38AM

Patreus Fights al Qaeda, the Taliban, Morons

Critics Ponder: When You Point Out That Someone

is an Idiot - Doesn't the Idiot Get Offended? 

 

America is being held hostage by idiots. This is not news, of course. But in a welcome shock, General David Patreus apparently can do something about it. 

 

Certainly, no one… Read full post »

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AUGUST 19, 2010 3:24PM

I Don't Care About Cordoba House, Nor Should You

Greetings from New York City's Lower East Side, a 30 minute walk from the World Trade Center, where none of us cares one way or the other about the so-called Ground Zero mosque.

I don't mean I want the Cordoba House Islamic Community Center to go up two blocks from Ground… Read full post »

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AUGUST 11, 2010 1:55PM

Prop 8 Judge Is Gay - and That's Why the Law Is Wrong

The judge who struck down California's law against gay marriage is himself gay, and may be in a longterm, same-sex relationship. So critics are citing various legal, Latin terms, all of which roughly mean this is "a problem." Judge Vaughn Walker, who potentially gave marriage rights to gays when he s… Read full post »

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