Arguing With Myself

The simply complicated days.

Izzy J.

Izzy J.
December 31
Izzy's the name, livin's the game! Pleased to meet you. I'm sixteen-almost-seventeen years old and I am perhaps the most boring and average teenaged girl you'll ever meet. But, you know, life for a small town kid like me isn't what it looks like on Degrassi, and I assure you there are zero flash-mob dance sequences like Glee. But hey, here I am! I came to OS to jot down my opinions, rant to unbiased ears (or rather, eyes), and just have an outlet to post any funny stories, events, or thoughts that may cross my path. Enjoy my tumultuously boring, simply complicated life!

Izzy J.'s Links
JUNE 4, 2011 7:26PM

Playing With Fire, or Just Having Fun?

Rate: 1 Flag

If there is anyone who has followed this feeble blog for any amount of time, you'll recall the rise and fall of my previous, and only, romantic relationship.

 This may be happening all over again.

After nine months, four of which we didn't speak, we've gradually became friends again. About three weeks ago, he was dumped byhis girlfriend of one month (I'm still the reigning champ- three months strong!). Being the amazing friend I am, I was there for him when he was down and out. I comforted him when he was sad. I really care about the guy, and I made sure to let him know.

His best friend is also a good friend of mine. He told me a few days ago, "You know, he can tell you still have feelings for him."

Subtlety was never my specialty.

The friend then asked if I wanted to know what said former lovah had said about that fact. Curiosity killed the cat, but I was anxious to know how he thought of me now, regardless of whether or not it would hurt.

Apparently he said, "I wouldn't mind being with her again. I'm going to think about this."

I'm happy. I'm confused. I'm daydreamy. I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm all sorts of things.

I'm scared of getting hurt like I did before, but I've daydreamed about this situation too much to just say no. There's still things about him that bother me, but I miss the times we had last summer. I'm worried that it's not going to last, but I think it might be worth the gamble.

If this does happen, I'm going to sit him down and tell him outright, I'm not getting into a relationship that has an expiration date. He's not exactly known to be a serial monogamist. I'll promise him that I'll always give him 100%, and I'll request that he do the same as long as I am, and to always be straight with me.

Does that seem like a fair plan?

I don't have a clue, really. I've only had one relationship, and it was with this same guy.

You OS patrons are mostly adults, am I right? Do you have any sagely, adult advice for a smitten 16 year old? When you were a teenager, did you ever go back with an ex? If so, how did it work out?

Yours, ever so confused-ly,


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